Welcome, Emily!
I'd like to second rhondabythebay in suggesting you find a support group. I drive 1½ hours each way to get to mine (I live in a small city with absolutely NO TS services) and it's very much worth it for me. It took a couple trips before I began to feel comfortable, I went en homme the first time, and now I'm a regular and have made some great friends. My therapist pointed me towards the group. Maybe yours can do the same?
And if that's impossible, just come here to Susan's! We live to help and support each other through our difficult times and come to enjoy each other's good times too. I'm happy to make your acquaintance, Emily, and I hope we'll get to know each other a little better real soon.
Again, WELCOME ! !

hugs & smiles
helen