First and foremost, please don't even visit any of those sites where people are telling you to commit suicide - this is cyberbullying and not only are the bullies trying to upset you, they're also breaking the law. If you're getting abuse on a Social Network, you can help yourself by reporting the abusers and changing your account. For example, on Facebook you can max out your privacy settings and only allow people you trust to 'friend' you, or on Twitter you can block users or protect your tweets. If you think the police might be helpful, try contacting The Malta Cybercrime Unit. You don't need bullies adding to your stress so please protect yourself as much as possible.

Now on to your question. It's a sad fact that quite a few gay men aren't comfortable with the idea of dating a trans man - but then again, some are perfectly fine with it and many don't realise how fine they really are with it until they try it. I see that Malta's gay scene is described as 'small but thriving', so from a small scene, you're trying to find the even smaller number of gay men who have no problems with you being trans. Under those circumstances, I agree with other posters that your best bet would be to befriend men and go on a date or two before revealing your trans status.

A (cis) gay friend of mine is Namibian - he comes from a tiny little desert town where he was quite literally 'the only gay in the village'. So not only was he very limited in his choices for a potential partner, but homosexuality is illegal in Namibia and he would've faced government-mandated arrest, harassment and persecution. He had no choice but to leave his home country so that he could find happiness. He's now happily married & living in London, but that wouldn't have been possible in Namibia.

His chances of success improved when he tried fishing from a larger pool.   

FTMDiaries, thanks so much for your very kind advice. I get a ton of anon hate on Tumblr and it's always the same people who don't know me. Long story short they're friends of a girl who wanted me as her bf but went nuts when this guy who left after 5 days started talking to me. I'm on my 3rd account but I'm foolish for always trying to be her friend because she said she missed me.
Moving to another country is a dream I'll try to make a reality.

You're welcome.

And there's the answer to your hatemail problems: if they're all connected to that one girl, avoid her like the plague and block her from your Tumblr. She's not your friend if (as you seem to suspect) she's encouraging her friends to treat you like that.

Presuming these comments are being posted on your own Tumblr, you can then block the anonymous messages - if you click 'Block' on a specific anonymous message, it will permanently block the sender's account, IP address and computer from sending any more messages. Sure, they could always try an Internet cafe or such, but there are only so many times someone will go to that kind of trouble before they get sick & tired of it and find somebody else to torment.

Good luck, and remember: you're way better than those losers.

I guess jealousy did play a part because she told me that I was the only person who treated her that well and the guy would be lucky to have me. Then she exploded and said that I treated her like s.... Her friends' hate messages are idiotic though like "I don't know you but I hate you". Didn't know that the block thing blocks the IP. I will do that if it happens again. Latest one I got was a few days ago when I was for a holiday abroad. So much for a 13/14 year old heh

I am a gay transman as well. I will tell you my experience. In person I mostly had one night stands with men as a female, but I was not the type to get into relationships. Never have been. Once I realized I was trans, most of my relationships began online (this was a time where the internet was my life, still is). I usually told people upfront that I am transgender, the ones that didn't mind are the only ones who mattered. Every girlfriend I've had was cis and either straight or bisexual, or some other form of sexuality, whatever. I even got involved with a girl who was for the most part a lesbian but we were such good friends she actually was attracted to me, which was flattering. Though, I will be frank: I like cis girls sexually but for the most part am not attracted to them romantically. They are very few and far between. Anyway. Because you are homosexual I will go into that. Dating wise, I am mainly strictly attracted to men. I luckily caught a cis man (the love of my life, I plan on proposing next month) who loved me first, and told me of his crush. He knew I was trans, we spoke on Skype most days but we had a few meet ups in person, but he was also polysexual (or pansexual, if you would). He is very attracted to androgyny, so I really hit the jackpot here on days where I feel more feminine. He treats me like a man but he loves my lady parts too, it's really the best of both worlds because I love everything about him. He actually jokingly said he will miss my breasts when I get them removed. He's so supportive through my experience, I really am blessed.

What my advice is, is that if a man is not interested in you even if you are trans, he is not worth your time. The best bet you can get is find a cis man who is not strictly homosexual. If he is pansexual or bisexual, or especially if he is just attracted to transmen. I know it sounds hard but there are people like that out there, you need someone who can accept your body and mind. My boyfriend is one of those people and I hope you find someone like that for you.

Quote from: deejayk on October 15, 2012, 09:22:06 PM
But I think I'm confident enough to start dating. All I need is someone to accept me the way I accept myself.

That's true, and people like that exist out there, ones that will accept and love you.  Don't give up.  I know it's not face to face, but you'll find support here.  I'm also a gay transman and can feel where you're coming from.  I'm fortunate enough to have met my person who loves and understands me, I'm sure you will too.