Quote from: Ave on November 03, 2012, 01:41:07 PM
lol that always struck me as hilarious, that butch girl and pretty gay boy were so removed yet really close on the identifying scale 
That is funny for me, too. I definitely feel more like a femboy or a pretty gay boy. Well, I do mess around with very masculine-identified females, too, but never feminine girls. So when lately people think of me as a butch lesbian, it makes me feel funny.
I'm seriously feminine but I don't feel I have much of a girl inside of me. The girl is on the outside and it has been a mask for me to wear for the past 13 years; surely it has left many traits in me, but mainly it has been just a mask I was stuck in until I realized I really can do something to be happier about myself.
I do sometimes get excited about dressing very girly and passing as a sexy girl, but everything sexual about being perceived as a female is something I have to construct by using stuff that cross-dressers/drag queens do to get there. I do enjoy that, I know... I have since I started my female teen age. But it's occasional arousal and excitement, not identity, and more like a dirty secret. When I just want to be "me", not some femme fatale character, I hate it when I get confused with a girl.
Being perceived as a femboy is something I strongly wish for. I'd like to wake up in the morning and just feel my body looks like I'm a femboy and I don't have breasts or fat in the feminine parts of my body. It doesn't feel like a fetish (unlike the "cross-dressing" as a female sometimes does

) I like men and feel attracted to them, I just hate it that they so often like me because I'm soft or I have a girly butt or tits (ugh how I hate to hear those "compliments"). So therefore I haven't messed around with boys lately. At least not cis boys. Trans masculine people seem to handle this better.
But yea, in the end I feel like I'm a femboy who's pretty pansexual and wants to be clean and pretty and have pretty things around me and eyeliner and glitter on me when I go party.

Therefore it's funny that I usually get categorized into being a butch or a tomboy. Hopefully doing some hormone replacement therapy will help with that, as well as getting rid of the very feminizing red hair color that I've had for several years (not that I was compensating my lacking femaleness or anything with that or anything else...

)