hey guys

my name is Dan and i'm and pre T.

I was wondering if any of you guys grew up in an insanely religious family. Every single one of my family members is a bible humper to the extreme. They go to church twice on sundays (and force me to wear a skirt which makes me want to shrivel up and die). My parents send me to a christian highschool where pretty much everyday I learn how LGBT people are going straight to hell. I feel the hate, you know? They make me go to a catechism class once a week which basically teaches me what my parents church believes, why its right, and why I have to believe it. I am constantly getting their narrow minded world view shoved down my throat. My whole life is their stupid church, and pretty much everybody I know and interact with comes from the same views as them. If i came out of school i'd probably get stabbed. I only have one friend who hasn't been brainwashed and me and him have a pretty good time pointing out the obvious flaws in their theology.

Because of this society I'm completely stuck in, the only people I've come out to are my parents. Even though I made my intentions in life very clear when I came out in July, they have decided to completely ignore everything I said and try to cure me by beating me over head with the Bible. They don't acknowledge that I am a guy, they go out of their way to call me and my sisters 'girls' and out of their way to call my brother 'their only son.' My parents seem to conveniently forget the fact that I have never been gender conforming. Instead of realizing that my whole life I've been masculine, they idolize the very few feminine parts of my life like the only time i wore a dress(gr.8 graduation), and try to convince themselves that I've been like that all along.

I guess im just really pissed cause everything about my life is based on some (in my opinion) loony-bin beliefs that I never had a choice in deciding whether they would be mine or not, i just kinda had them pressed onto me.

soo, haaha, i guess i was just wondering if anyones ever had any experiences similar to mine.

I know how you feel. I was not in such a religious family as to have been forced to go to church or to a Christian highschool or anything like that, but I know how you feel about the parents and family idolizing the few 'female' aspects of your life and whatnot.

I feel like my parents don't actually love me; they love the me they've invented in their minds. The person they want me to be, who meets all their criteria for a good daughter, and... who doesn't actually exist, and never have. My parents, also, seemed to more or less completely ignore everything I said when I tried to tell them about my being transgender. I actually didn't even get to talk to my dad about it directly, and probably never will. We never really went to church, but they are all Bible thumpers, more or less.

I don't know what I would have done if they had forced me to wear skirts. I had a sueprchristian boyfriend for a short time, and he tried to force me to wear skirts and go to church with him. Needless to say, that didn't last very long..

Hi Danjs,

A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.

There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.

As it appears you are currently under your parents provision (food, board, education etc) to some degree there needs to be a mutual respect for each others integrity and feelings. This, clearly isn't happening in your case. Further to that point, as your parents pro port to be christian if not catholic, unconditional love should be one of the basis tenants they should not only teach, but demonstrate through their family.

Is there a relative you could speak to about this and have them approach your parents, if you are not comfortable about doing it yourself? Obviously you are becoming more upset as time goes on, however respect and understanding is a vital ingredient in any discussion.

On a side note. I don't know how far the news of a Royal Commission on child abuse in Australian christian institutions has reached around the world. But if your parents are catholic, they should be worried about the implications this will have in years to come. Catholicism in Australia is just about to be blown apart.

Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Quote from: Catherine Sarah on November 17, 2012, 12:50:02 AM
On a side note. I don't know how far the news of a Royal Commission on child abuse in Australian christian institutions has reached around the world. But if your parents are catholic, they should be worried about the implications this will have in years to come. Catholicism in Australia is just about to be blown apart.

I would love to hear more about this. I've been saying for years that indoctrinating children with religion should be considered child abuse.

Hi Welcome to Susan's. I hope you will feel supported and comfortable here. I have. As you are in high school you are pretty much under your parent's control. I know it is a bummer and a frustration, However, it is also time limited. In less than 4 years you will have the opportunity, most likely to move out, maybe go to college and at least start living your own life.  I know at seems like forever from where you are now, and that you will be focused to put up with a lot of unpleasantness until that time arrives, but it will arrive.

At that time, you will not have to live the life your parents have outlined for you, you can live the life that make you feel genuine.

I know how narrow minded some religious folks can be. I moved Ny to texas. I am one of the very few jews in my town, Some of the kids at school have told my boys that they are going to hell because they don't believe in Jesus. It's a real pain! 

It might be good to try and really throw yourself into your school work and get good grades and so on. The reason for this is that you are going to make it easier for your self to get out of there vs harder. I know this is VERY hard to concentrate on if you are feeling dysphoric, but you can think of this as your transition. You gotta get out to transition!

I know a bit about this as I have a sibling who is a born again Bible thumper.
This is not someone I have told I am trans.

--Jay J

Work hard, particularly in school, all with the eye on getting the hell out of there, the further the better.  College can - if you're up to it - get you thousands of miles from home, in a completely different atmosphere - & never to return.  Every generation of parents have their own 'bridge too far' deals.   Things about their kids that they might never, ever, be able to understand.  And sometimes you just have to move on with all of it anyway.