Thanx, ChaoticTribe. I thought of another way to put it more succinctly.
I'm gay, 100%, so I can't even say that a male appearance and a male identity is a preference. That's pretty much mandatory. I just can't see women in a romantic or sexual manner. I wish I were bi or pan, but it just isn't me. It is, however, a preference that my partner have gonads that are complimentary to mine. That, however, definitely is just a preference. Every guy I have ever dated has had a penis and it has not been an issue. We managed to have great sex. So obviously what is between my partner's legs is not all I care about; not even close. In fact one of the fastest ways for a guy to turn me off is to brag about their size down there, like posting it right on an online profile, because it is so far down on my list of things that I care about in a partner and it implies that our priorities are likely way out of sync. Even when I primarily identified as a bottom, I didn't care about such things.