The reason I'm writing is because I've seen others ask for help here, and I could use some. I was just told by my lover's best friend and my lover together that they do not and cannot see me as female at all. I was also left with the impression that all they have been doing is humoring or patronizing me the whole time. either out of pity or I dunno what else-

I just wanna run away or die or something. I cannot say how uttterly crushed  I am-- annihilated-- less than zero. I just gotta get through this night-- and figure out what to do-- where to go in the morning.

broken lexi--
google mapping the nearest grayhound station--

Big hug! I don't know what to say, hon. I'm really sorry this happened to you. Hugs, Devlyn

It does not matter what they say, what matters is what you say.  Keep on Truckin'

Stand your ground for you and no one but you.

It hurts when those you love deny you.

However

You cannot let that destroy you. There is more to live for than their opinions.

Hi Lexicaligari. I saw your post. Since you replied to my post I felt it would only be right that I reply to yours. Big hug to you dear. I know what its like when others can't see you as female. My parents can't. You said you feel crushed or annihilated. I just felt like that 24 hours ago so I know where your coming from. Together and through susan's we can get through it.

You said you were looking for a greyhound station, any idea where you are planning to go? Any friends or relatives you could stay with? What about your job? I'm not sure how else I can help you except to let you know that I am here for you and if you want to email me you are more than welcome to if you want a listening ear to go further into detail discussing your situation. I just wanna help any way I can. Hugs.

Ida

Find someone who is close to you who you feel is more accepting. Spend time with them to take your mind off the rejection at hand.

Hey Lexi! I cant tell you what you should do, but I hope that what I say can help. I go to school everyday dressed as a woman. half of my classmates still call me man, dude, guy, or by my original name. and frankly, im not the least doubtful that everyone around me can tell. No one really sees me as a woman. But I do, and thats what matters. There are a few supportive people I can count on, even if they are just humoring me. But the simple truth is that I do it, I go through each day with this knowledge and still persevere simply because I am a woman. I know this to my core and it is all that I need. You have everything that you need inside you hun no matter what anyone else says. Those that deny you, whether you love them or not, are just those who cannot yet see you for who you really are. You may convince them, you may not. But so long as you are sure, thats all that matters. Everyone here is on your side and like Ida said, we all just want to help.

They are trying to wind you up.

It really doesn't matter what they see, it's what you feel.

But on that superficial level, we have before and after photos where the change is amazing. Our Meghan's is especially good. 9 images of each stage, form where she started to where she is now. It just takes a bit of time. (Perhaps someone here knows where that patch is?).

But when people wind you up like that, it's really annoying.