Hello all! Im currently in an lgbt support group at my college (CPCC Spectrum) and I am heading up a group of students working on attaining bathrooms for the trans community at my school. Unfortunatly I have been told that it simply isnt possible because I am the only trans person speaking up and theres no need to change policy for just one person. I understand that the others (and there are others) may not want to out themselves, or prehaps they just dont want to make waves. I completly understand. But I have been selected by the school as the person to be singled out. security follows me to make sure that I use the male bathrooms and though a few officials refer to me as a woman, for the most part I am treated as more of an annoyance. I was hoping that the ladies here might be able to lend me some advice, some courage, or some help if at all possible. I dont mind being strong and putting this burden on my shoulders. I will fight for equality simply because it is right, but I could use some direction. lol

Good on ya, hon! Someone has to blaze a trail, thanks for being someone. Hugs, Devlyn

If you have an IPhone there are a couple of apps that might help.

TranSquat

Quote from: jacqueline_rose on December 02, 2012, 06:53:19 PM
But I have been selected by the school as the person to be singled out. security follows me to make sure that I use the male bathrooms

Hmmm... I think I would wear skirts, heels and a strong perfume and then go to the male bathrooms as directed. It should not take too long before the policy gets changed.

I don't like Gender Neutral bathrooms or special trans only bathrooms! I am a woman and I will use the womans restroom! Thats equality! This segregation of gender "neutral" only outs us and puts us more in danger! Remids me of times past (that people love to forget), this is a step backwards not forward! Its discrimination no matter how you see it! OP you should be allowed to use the womens restroom! If they have security follow you, then security can just follow you to the womens restroom, where you belong!

Quote from: Jen-Jen on December 03, 2012, 04:48:29 AM
I don't like Gender Neutral bathrooms or special trans only bathrooms! I am a woman and I will use the womans restroom! Thats equality! This segregation of gender "neutral" only outs us and puts us more in danger! Remids me of times past (that people love to forget), this is a step backwards not forward! Its discrimination no matter how you see it! OP you should be allowed to use the womens restroom! If they have security follow you, then security can just follow you to the womens restroom, where you belong!

unfortunatly if i do go into the womens restroom i will be expelled and possibly arrested. They told me that because im not a woman yet (I havent undergone the surgery yet) then i will be breaking the law if i try. I agree that this isnt right and we shouldnt have to have seperate restrooms, but so long as our species defines a person by their gender we will have this controversial issue.

Quote from: bev2 on December 03, 2012, 03:46:47 AM
Hmmm... I think I would wear skirts, heels and a strong perfume and then go to the male bathrooms as directed. It should not take too long before the policy gets changed.

lol, i would if shoes werent so hard for me to find. I do wear strong perfumes, but I cant wear a skirt with sneakers. it just looks bad. hopefully I will soon though. (keeping my fingers crossed forr christmas)

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 02, 2012, 06:58:50 PM
Good on ya, hon! Someone has to blaze a trail, thanks for being someone. Hugs, Devlyn

-hugs- thanks hun.

Quote from: jacqueline_rose on December 02, 2012, 06:53:19 PM
security follows me to make sure that I use the male bathrooms

This is inhuman treatment. Regardless of whether you're powerless to change it, realize that you don't deserve this. People should not be treated that way.

Quote from: jacqueline_rose on December 02, 2012, 06:53:19 PM
I dont mind being strong and putting this burden on my shoulders. I will fight for equality simply because it is right, but I could use some direction. lol

I don't know what you're willing to endure, so I'm just going to send a bunch of suggestions your way. Use what you want and ignore the rest.

* If there is a local newspaper, radio, or TV station that you could recruit on your side, and you don't mind being the center of a controversy, you might embarrass your college. Administrators don't like negative publicity.

* National media might be interested as well, esp. places like Huffington Post, CNN, MSNBC, if you're lucky.

* Have a friend or ally take a video of you being followed by campus security. Post it on YouTube.

* Contact LGBT organizations on your campus and in your state. Try to get as many allies as you can. People there might know how to embarrass your college into letting you use the correct bathroom or draw attention to your cause.

* Follow in the footsteps of civil rights pioneers and let yourself get arrested for using the wrong bathroom. Don't do this unless you're confident in your ability make the arrest very public. You can draw the process out by going limp when they try to take you away. Make sure someone is filming it.

* Could you get a protest organized? Some people to picket the college. Again, college administrators don't like embarrassment.

* Or be a one woman protest. Wear a sign saying "Ask why they're making me use the wrong restroom" or something like that.

There are a lot of close-minded people, but there are also a LOT of people who understand and support transgender rights. You don't need to go through this alone.

Good luck J.R. You are not alone.

You've probably already seen this, but here's two outtakes from a piece of information that is linked below.  Remember, your state has laws that provide you legal protection, and the school must adopt a policy to address the law, or they are in violation of the statute.  The school is a public institution and unless they have a security guard assisting in your protection it could be construed as harassment.  Get a copy of the actual adopted and coded law, then use it to your advantage when you're followed. 

1.   Ten states (California, Colorado, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Minnesota, New Jersey, Oregon,
Vermont and Washington) and the District of Columbia have laws specifically prohibiting
gender identity discrimination in public schools and, in some cases, private schools that
receive state funding. In these states, school officials may not harass, or allow others to
harass, a student based on the student's gender identity. In addition to those states,
Maryland and North Carolina require that school districts have a policy against
harassment and bullying based on a list of characteristics that includes gender identity.
Increasingly, schools and school districts have also adopted policies protecting
transgender students from discrimination, providing that transgender students be
allowed to use restrooms and locker rooms and participate in sports in accordance with
their gender identity.7

2.   North Carolina
North Carolina law protects students and school employees from bullying or harassment
based on gender identity,121 and requires school employees to report incidents of
harassment or bullying observed by the employee.122 School districts in North Carolina
are required to adopt policies against bullying and harassment that include gender
identity as an impermissible basis for harassing or bullying behavior.123

The link to the article:

http://www.nclrights.org/site/DocServer/StateLawsThatProhibitDiscriminationAgainstTransPeople.pdf?docID=7821

Sometimes we need to instruct the weak minded instructors.

Take care.
Kathy

Agfrommmd I must thank you for the very usefull suggestions. While I am trying to make the change peacefully, if necessary I will resort to these tactics. (hopefully you dont see me on the news, I hate that sort of thing. lol) Im supposed to meet with the dean again at the start of this comming semester to work out some better solutions so hopefully things will get better without anyone lossing face.
And Kathy b you have given me just the arguments that I need to take back to my group. hopefully with this knowledge they will feel more likely to activly support us.

Thank you very much!!

Gender neutral bathrooms are a horrible idea. Plus, trans only bathrooms would be silly since we are a very small minority. As for you using the restroom, I'd say you should be allowed to do so. If anything, just stop going at school.

College campuses have lots of bathrooms.    Some in high traffic areas and some in low traffic areas.    There are some one seaters and there may be some that are M/F bathrooms.   If you use a rest room in a low traffic areas, one seaters, or M/F rest rooms you probably have fewer problems.   You may just be stuck with using the men's rooms until they get tired of following you around.   Many colleges have a student council which handles student affairs.   You could take the problem of restrooms to them and see if they can deal with it.

If you have a teacher in your major that you know pretty well perhaps in your major field, you could see if he would take the matter to the faculty senate to have them deal with the Deans of the college.    Some teachers may be willing to take up your cause.

If the Dean of Students refuses to deal with the problem because he is more interested in his budget than in the students then find out what other individuals have power within the school and see if they will settle the bathroom problem.

The Student Council and the Faculty Senate or Council are places to go to.   Writing a letter to the editor in the Student news paper could drum up some interest in the problem of transgender's on campus and perhaps other concerned students would be willing to speak out.

Have you tried putting together a petition that says something about people using the appropriate facilities for the gender they identify with?

Quote from: jacqueline_rose on December 02, 2012, 06:53:19 PMsecurity follows me to make sure that I use the male bathrooms

This is absolutely unconscionable. You could and I think should draw some negative national press to your college for doing this. I would have a friend follow both me and the security person with a video camera and then post it on YouTube to show the world the incredible bigotry being perpetrated by your school. I think it would get a lot hits.