Quote from: agfrommd on November 21, 2012, 08:13:34 AM
People who know about my transgender have been calling me by a new name for a couple months now. I really love the name and I am so-o-o grateful to my friends who use it.

But it doesn't feel like me yet.

When someone in my support group refers to something I said, my first reaction is "wasn't it me that said that?" before I realize they ARE referring to me, just by a name I'm not used to. And when I hear one of my friends use the name, I only feel thankful that they're willing to call me by a name that in no way matches my hairy, deep-voiced, male body.

I haven't seen anyone here post about that before. I mostly see posts about how wonderful it feels to be called by the new name ("like music", I remember one person saying) and how much it sucks being called by a obsolete name. (I have gotten to the point where my everyday name sound strange to me too.)

For people who changed their names to match your true gender, did you go through a stage where it didn't feel like yours or where you didn't feel like you deserved it? How long did it last and how did you get past that?

I know exactly wat u mean i lovr my birthnmae its very femme n beautiful so i feel ba my fam gave me sucha beautiful name but it kinda always felt weir hearin it...even w my sai name ayden or aj. it feels rite but to a point it feels weir n awkwardd at times hearn myself bein call it n ive ben call it the past 6 yrs. may have somthn to do w the fact i have rown up my whole life hearn my birthname n now bein refered by a duiff name it fels weird.

I have always liked the name 'Genevieve" for as long I can remember. When I came out it was simple to be called Genevieve. I shortened it to Gennee (pronounced Jenny) because there are other ladies here with the same name.

Not long at all. When I first decided to change my name I made a big list of name I like the meaning and sound of, and that I recognised when I looked in the mirror. The name I chose was definitely the one that felt most familiar and I've never really felt awkward about it, except maybe the very first time I ever introduced myself with it. But after that icebreaker everything felt totally natural and still does My birth name felt like a stranger to me very soon afterwards, and it kind of trips me out when I hear it.

QuoteHow's about this: I never, ever, managed to get used to my birth name. Has anyone else experienced that?

Yup.  One of the only memories I have from when I was a small child is this very strong feeling that my name didn't belong to me.  It wierded me out when people called me it.  Still does.  But when you slap an "n" on the end of my birth name it's a male name, and suddenly it's totally me!  So I don't fully recognise that someone saying S___a is addressing me, but when they say S____n it clicks.

And when I was a kid I used to really hate my middle name, but liked it with the "e" taken off the end that makes it a boy's name.  I didn't kniow then that my first name had a male variant.  Kudos to my parents for picking such easily alterable names!

I don't really use my male name, I always use a nickname, and that's the one I'm finding hard to change.

I ran a bunch of names by friends and threw out the ones they really couldn't get used to. I really liked Austin, but it was a huge stretch for them (and for me too actually). Then, I found Deven and it worked. I had started a new part time job at a place that a close friend was working at so she introduced me as Deven and really stuck with only calling me that. There was actually a girl there with my old name and so sometimes I'd accidentally respond and realized it wasn't meant for me.  I played it off like I couldn't hear over the noise and make out who they were talking to. The fact that none of the staff knew my old name really helped. It was pretty immediate that I realized this is now me.  Took others on average about a month to get it down. I understand it takes time for them to adjust so I just gently corrected them.

I do struggle a lot with my new name. It's not because I don't like it but I don't feel it's me yet. I feel like all of my identity is attached to my birth name if you understand what I mean. Like if you hear your friends name you will instantly be able to envision what makes that person who they are. I don't feel like my identity and who I am as a person has transferred over on to my new name.
When people from before I came out as male talk to me they still refer to me by my birth name and when they do try and call me by my new name I sometimes feel awkward because it doesn't feel right to hear them call me that. However people who I met after I came out as male, hearing them call me by my new name feels perfectly natural.
I do still struggle a little because I still don't feel my new name really sums me up whereas hearing my old name I can picture everything about myself.
I'm not sure if any of that made sense but that's my take on it.

I lie the name 'Genevieve' long before I knew I was trans. When I made that discovery years later, the name I picked was a no brainer.

I am a Michelle, also.   Having been an elementary teacher and knowing that ch can be pronounced /k/, /ch/, or /sh/.   Also other cis gendered girls have used Michael as a girl's name.  I have been accepting my female name as Michael pronounced as Mikel, Mishelle, both as female names.   I knew a cis gendered lady named Mike.   So now in creating alias I am identifying my self as, Michael, Mychelle, Myshelle, Myche, Mike.  Mysh, Michelle, so that all of these names are associated with me.  The spelling Michael is staying on my legal documents for now.  Later when I start taking hormones and exploring the possibility of surgery, I might feel differently.   Being 66,  my most important goal is keeping my health no matter what I do.   Long lingering bed ridden deaths seems to be traditional in my family.   Emotionally I am determined to avoid this.

It took me awhile to get used to the first name I picked. Now I'm having a hard time picking up the new name and unlearning the old new name. Everytime I correct myself, I can't help but think of the line from The Matrix where Agent Smith says, "Mr. Anderson!" and Neo responds, "My NAME is NEO!". It's like an awakening.

I just evaded the problem by choosing a name close to male name when shortened but is still obviously female.

While my full name is masculine (Alexandre), it's rarely used by my friend and family who just call me Alex. I liked the name, but I wanted something more feminine and a little more creative than Alexandra. So, I cut it down to Alex, I added "ia" at the end and found myself satisfied by the sound of it.

Even if I'm not out to most of them, when I'll tell them, It will mostly be a matter of pronouns and I won't be super destabilized.

At first I thought I was being potentially too clever for my own good, but I have to admit, a part of me, ME that is not him, does indeed like being called by the female variation of my name.

It seemed like a potentially bad idea to take Leslie Robert and make it Lesley Roberta, but, I have grown to think it was the brightest move I could have made. Yes, it is my name, and I think picking something entirely knew would be a slight to my parents, as well as just 'trying too hard' as well.

I do also like inwardly laughing at those that think they have been bugging me calling me in a feminine fashion. Ahhh sorry mac, but that IS my name, so actually using it is not going to accomplish your goal of bothering me. Saying my name in an overtly sexy fashion, it won't hurt my ears, but, it miiiiight make you look a tad homosexual to our mutual male friends, you might want to consider that.

But sadly, annoyingly too, it seems my friends all use the shortened version Les, which is neither me nor him. Oh well.

I am just now waiting on a matter of officially recognized ID being sent back to me (doing that right before holidays, I can't expect any sort of speed of course). But the second it arrives, Leslie Robert is then going and starting the ball rolling to get THAT name legally changed to mine. They might fail to remember to use she her and miss when addressing me, but at least I will be able to enjoy my name actually being Lesley Roberta on documents. I can suffer having to write male in the gender portion of a form for my other half's sake I suppose. I am not so crazy to think society is ready to call me a girl with this damned thing between my legs.

I just finally switched mine to something more appropriate. I can't find myself on the forums anymore. I guess Karen was very well ingrained in my head. Everytime I refer to myself I think I'm Karen err Emily. Luckily I only have to convince myself and my therapist and not everybody else I know.

Well i am still trying to get used to ashley.

I think I'd get used to my name faster if people would use it more often instead of just on here or Facebook where ppl dont know my girl name.... Sigh

The other day, my friend used my female middle name in conversation on the phone.

I must say, I loved it. I am fairly sure he wasn't saying it to make me happy though

I was discussing a new bag I had bought. Bought it at a luggage store (Bentley's). It IS luggage, but, it is hardly capable of being mistaken as luggage at the size it is, although it looks kinda camera bag like (zillions of pockets and enclosures).
I had mentioned I had bought a new 'bag', he corrected me 'no Roberta, you bought a purse'.

He never uses my middle name in conversation, so it was clear he wanted me ears to not mistake the intent. Because my first name is generally Les which is neither Leslie or Lesley in any meaningful way.

I like the name though, but sadly, the shortened version does admittedly mean most don't need to make the transition and thus never make much of a disconnect from calling me Leslie in favour of using Lesley.

I am using Jay sometimes instead of initials. Not sure how much I even like it as it sounds a lot like my old name, which also is good because I can just think they called me "Jay" even if they didn't. It isn't exactly rolling off my tongue. I also go by my initials too.

BTW, I had a situation where my initials would work better. I am pre-T and don't sound at all male on the phone (or in real life so much). Anyway I said "this is Jay", but when they called back they couldn't get this. They ended up looking at caller ID, I suppose. My initials might have worked better.

--Jay

Quote2. Being me. When I was a 'hairy, deep-voiced male' I was never comfortable with a female name. Being visibly female changed that.

Same here, but in reverse. When I became a hairy deep voiced male on the outside, the new name was a better fit.
It was awkward to have a new name while still looking the same, and I wondered if my friends were really seeing me or just being kind by going along with it.

I never got used to my original name and I'm not quite used to my new name. I've always been more comfortable when names aren't used. Hey man. Dude, come here. Hi guys. Hello people. Anybody want this? I do. Etc.

But then again I've always been more comfortable with Felix than with any nicknames I've ever used. I guess that's nice.

I used to go by Polly when I was little but decided on Bree as an adult. Bree Anne as a variation of Bryan. I had my name legally changed last year and still have people I've known call me by my old name. I guess it takes time. Changing my name cost me over $400 and a day in court plus the costs of a new license and birth certificate, but it was well worth it! I feel much happier as Bree