it has come to my attention that alot of you guys could do with some random bull crap to lighten up and have a laugh with, so here is the place to put it, it's a tradition where i'm from to just muck around, take the piss out of each other and just have fun, post a joke, tell a funny story it doesn't have to be completley true, aske a goofy question and get a goofy answer, just have fun and raz on each other just be sure not to make it mean or personal enjoy fellas

come on people it's just for fun, make up a dumb question and have a laugh

it's a puzzle

         5th floor  (gold bags)
         4th         tiger(hungry)
         3rd         fish(shark)
         2nd         ice(with a hidden polar bear)
         1st          lion(angry)
   Ground Floor  robber
                    how will he steal the gold?
                 (the answer is like the puzzle-stupid.)

Quote from: av1 on December 10, 2012, 07:00:37 AM
it's a puzzle

         5th floor  (gold bags)
         4th         tiger(hungry)
         3rd         fish(shark)
         2nd         ice(with a hidden polar bear)
         1st          lion(angry)
   Ground Floor  robber
                    how will he steal the gold?
                 (the answer is like the puzzle-stupid.)

Sorry, I am stupid.

Quote from: av1 on December 10, 2012, 07:00:37 AM
it's a puzzle

         5th floor  (gold bags)
         4th         tiger(hungry)
         3rd         fish(shark)
         2nd         ice(with a hidden polar bear)
         1st          lion(angry)
   Ground Floor  robber
                    how will he steal the gold?
                 (the answer is like the puzzle-stupid.)

Elevator...? :p

Quote from: av1 on December 10, 2012, 07:00:37 AM
it's a puzzle

         5th floor  (gold bags)
         4th         tiger(hungry)
         3rd         fish(shark)
         2nd         ice(with a hidden polar bear)
         1st          lion(angry)
   Ground Floor  robber
                    how will he steal the gold?
                 (the answer is like the puzzle-stupid.)

You make a trampoline out of the robber so you can jump up to the 5th floor. That or you you use the robber to become spiderman!

Dear Justin

I have a wee problem. The dishes are stacking up; there's dirty laundry to be done; and my kids have made a mess of the living room. Oh, and my hubby doesn't like the fact that I'm trans.

So the advice I need is this... could you please tell me how I could care less?

Answers on the back of a packet of Farley's Rusks please.

Thanks everso,

---
Disgruntled of Bristol

Quote from: av1 on December 10, 2012, 07:00:37 AM
it's a puzzle

         5th floor  (gold bags)
         4th         tiger(hungry)
         3rd         fish(shark)
         2nd         ice(with a hidden polar bear)
         1st          lion(angry)
   Ground Floor  robber
                    how will he steal the gold?
                 (the answer is like the puzzle-stupid.)

Get a helicopter and land on the roof and get the gold, then go to the press and sell the story of how there's some crazy nutter with a building full of dangerous animals.  Gold + money from the press = extra rich

Quote from: av1 on December 10, 2012, 07:00:37 AM
it's a puzzle

         5th floor  (gold bags)
         4th         tiger(hungry)
         3rd         fish(shark)
         2nd         ice(with a hidden polar bear)
         1st          lion(angry)
   Ground Floor  robber
                    how will he steal the gold?
                 (the answer is like the puzzle-stupid.)

Take an elevator to the 5th floor. None of the animals would press the button to stop it while it made it's way up/down.

Duh, it's easy, he takes the lift.

In Sweden, we have this thing where we create practically untranslatable puns/humorous phrases using antimetabole and Spoonerisms, creating things similar to "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy", usually quite crass and excellent for lads of roundabout 14. Also, filthy subversions of common sayings and such. "Better one bird in the hand than ten birds in yer foot" (a riff off "Better one bird in the hand than ten birds in the woods") and similar nonsense. "Better to kill two birds with one stone than to get one bird in yer two stones". 

The robber goes to the basement and gets the gold. The bags are what's on the fifth floor.

A school teacher must schedule seven sessions, which are abbreviated M, N, O, P, S, T, and U, during a day. Seven different consecutive time periods are available for the sessions, and are numbered one through seven in the order that they occur. Only one session can be schedules for each period. The assignment of the sessions to the periods is subject to the following restrictions:
M and O must occupy consecutive periods.
M must be scheduled for an earlier period than U.
O must be scheduled for a later period than S.
If S does not occupy the fourth period, then P must occupy the fourth period.
U and T cannot occupy consecutively numbered periods.

1.Which of the following could be a possible list of the sessions in the order that they are scheduled during the day?
(A) MOPSTNU
(B) NTMSOUP
(C) SMOPTNU
(D) SOMPUTN
(E) STOMPUN

2. If session M is assigned to the third period, then which of the following must be true?
(A) N is assigned to the sixth period.
(B) O is assigned to the first period.
(C) S is assigned to the fourth period.
(D) T is assigned to the fifth period.
(E) U is assigned to the seventh period.

3. Which of the following could be true?
(A) M is assigned to the first period.
(B) O is assigned to the fifth period.
(C) S is assigned to the seventh period.
(D) T is assigned to the sixth period.
(E) U is assigned to the third period.

4. If N is assigned to the third period, then each of the following could be true EXCEPT:
(A) M is assigned to the fifth period.
(B) O is assigned to the sixth period.
(C) P is assigned to the fourth period.
(D) T is assigned to the first period.
(E) U is assigned to the sixth period.

5. If T is assigned to the seventh period, then which of the following must be assigned to the fifth period?
(A) M
(B) N
(C) O
(D) P
(E) U



Ten points to anyone who can correctly say what kind of test this is from.

A long one!

I love wine.

That is all.

Quote from: DeeperThanSwords on December 10, 2012, 08:01:27 PM
I love wine.

That is all.

I love Tito's.

OK, here's one. An airliner goes down exactly on the border of the US and Canada. Right on the line. I mean smack dab in the middle. Where do you bury the survivors?

Quote from: LearnedHand on December 10, 2012, 08:02:34 PM
I love Tito's.

What's Tito's?

LearnedHand - I've probably made a major mistake somewhere, but here goes:
1. C
2. A
3. B
4. E
5. E

And just a stab in the dark, but a LSAT test? [small]I was going to say psychoanalytic but then I cheated and googled a question and it came up with LSAT whatever that may be... bonus points for thinking outside the box?[/small]

Devlyn Marie -
You would bury the survivors years later when they kicked the bucket from some other cause.  And you would generally bring any bodies back to their home country, if you could ID the bodies, which would probably be unlikely after a bad airliner crash, but not so unreasonable if there were survivors as well.

My turn:

What can you hold in your right hand but not your left?

Quote from: Alex000000 on December 10, 2012, 08:24:27 PM
My turn:

What can you hold in your right hand but not your left?

A right-handed can opener. A left boob!

Your left elbow.