So I wasnt sure what to title this post as it's my first post but I wanted to mix it up.   I have been lurking here for quite a few years leading up to my SRS -- The last couple months have been quite the ride through surgery and recovery and worrying and stress about my work and ability to return coupled with the knowledge I knew I had to give it time...the waiting..ya that sucked! --

Let me preface that I am 28 years old, I was 27 when I had the surgery (birthday last month), and i've never really had any medical problems to speak of coming into this surgery -- Its kind of a gut check going in to an operation knowing all of the complications that could arise and that I was messing with alot of important equipment that wasnt malfunctioning or anything...no it worked fine before, but it didn't match the rest of my body and I knew it was time.  All of the hard parts were already done, the living full time part of my transition, the self-taught voice lessons I gave myself, working full time incognito and being accepted, saving up the large sum of $$$ to pay for it all, everything I really ever wanted but still I wanted to complete the last piece of that puzzle.

Surgery went by quick.  There were no complications really to speak of and Dr. McGinn did a wonderful job on me I think, especially since I didnt have much down there to work with.  Things are pretty rough in the very beginning but it is strangely awesome how the body bounces back, this is my third week back at work and I took a healthy time off (8 weeks) to ensure I could have as much healing time as possible.  Mostly everything is pretty numb down there at first and dilations 5 x a day are a real pain, thankfully im down to a more manageable albeit still pretty regular 3x a day. 

Since life has returned more or less to normal, except for the way I pee and the dilation schedule, I have had a growing concern building about my libido and sensitivity post-op.  I had only made a couple "attempts" around weeks 4-6 to stimulate the clitoris due to initial fears of touching down there and not wanting to "hurt" anything -- I knew mentally I desired satisfaction and I could get aroused if touched down there or had intimate thoughts, but I wasnt sure if this was going to be my limit or not or if I would ever have the ability to achieve an orgasm...this definitely also depressed me a little bit after the first failed attempt or so, but I tried to put it in the back of my mind because although I really wanted to be able to have an orgasm and that extra step closer to intimacy as a free spirited woman, I also knew I was a more complete person now and needed to give it time and keep my spirits up.   

After reading some forum posts here and finding info that seemed to point towards some people having a lot of difficulties and taking many months if not years to achieve, this compounded my worries to the effect of asking Heather what we could do to help things along -- She recommended to go on this testosterone cream compound which Ive been applying for less than two weeks.  I actually had my first orgasm the night after putting it on, though I doubt it was related to the cream.

Though strangely enough it wasnt induced physically, I had a wet-dream I guess you could say.  I have had a few of these a year pre-op, and I thought that was just due to testosterone and the male parts being dominant but no...I definitely had my first one in my sleep (at week 9) -- It kind of always amazed me how powerful the mind can be as a stimulant and I wasnt sure if it was real or not at first -- but I kept checking and sure enough it was definitely wet down there.   

With that encouragement a week later now I got enough courage and felt in the "mood" enough to give it a try in the world of being awake - It took a little but I was successful and I've only been on the testosterone cream less than 2 weeks now.  The trick for me was trying hard not to think of there being new parts down there and letting it distract me from the stimulation -- I used a vibrator to keep a constant stimulation going but what really ended up doing was the rubbing of the clitoris / mons pubis area and the brain stimulation imaginative leading up to point --

So this leads to the question..what makes it so difficult after post op to achieve?  I think at first we're so sore and scared to play down there and by the time things start settling down we're maybe not sure "How to" do it...  It takes time and experimenting and keeping at it-- I'm just really happy that milestone is behind me now I can *know* for a fact my body is capable of achieving it..and if anyone reading it has had similar fears or is about to go through the surgery and worried about this...maybe this knowledge will help put some of those worries to rest.

Perhaps you are over thinking things hun. You are still so new. 10 weeks is no time at all.  Some of it is a learning. Some of it is hormonal changes.  Some of it is the fact your genitals have been rearranged. Some of it is mental. So just take your time. Give it a year or so and it will get easier with practise. Remember a lot of natal women don't orgasm at all and having an orgasm is not a measure of good sex.

congratulations on your op!

In my experience i orgasm easier now than i did with a post hormone pre op penis. But it took practise and time.

hmm yes I understand that, maybe I made my post too long-winded... but ya Ive so far been able to achieve two orgasms since my Op, once was while sleeping somehow and the other was tonight when I attempted, 10 weeks post op so I was pretty excited to get it behind me but was going through the rounds of feeling kind of upset with even having to wait that long to feel intimate physically.

It took me eight months to get my first orgasm. Don't push it. There is nothing to be concerned about after 10 weeks.

Quote from: Jessica07 on December 04, 2012, 08:23:21 PM
So this leads to the question..what makes it so difficult after post op to achieve?  I think at first we're so sore and scared to play down there and by the time things start settling down we're maybe not sure "How to" do it...  It takes time and experimenting and keeping at it-- I'm just really happy that milestone is behind me now I can *know* for a fact my body is capable of achieving it..and if anyone reading it has had similar fears or is about to go through the surgery and worried about this...maybe this knowledge will help put some of those worries to rest.

First, 10 weeks is pretty fast. It took me twice that long, and even that isn't exactly slow. So, congrats! I hope you feel good about that.

As to the question... I think a lot of it was that feeling like "it's a surgical site, I shouldn't even really be touching it." I was super nervous to damage anything in the first 3 months at least. And also, all the swelling and scars and whatnot did not make me feel super sexy.

Also, the how thing? It took me a long time to work out that I still pretty much function exactly the same way I did pre-op; things are just in different places. I was expecting more of a difference and that sort of confused and waylaid me.

I also think that for some people their libidos really crash on HRT, so they have super low incentive in general. Thankfully that isn't a problem for me at least.

Quote from: Jessica07 on December 04, 2012, 08:23:21 PM
So I wasnt sure what to title this post as it's my first post but I wanted to mix it up.   I have been lurking here for quite a few years leading up to my SRS -- The last couple months have been quite the ride through surgery and recovery and worrying and stress about my work and ability to return coupled with the knowledge I knew I had to give it time...the waiting..ya that sucked! --

When I had my SRS surgery I was afraid to touch anything down there unless it involed the act of dilating. Even then I always worried a bit especially right after surgery. I was happy when I didn't have to dilate with all kinds of sterilization requirements. Well after doing that for a few months my curiousity finally got the better of me and I figured it was time to give the girly bits a work out. The one thing that doesn't come with a vagina is an owners manual, so I had to figure this one out on my own. What I've discovered about myself is this:
  If I'm not in the mood it ain't gonna happen. No amount of poking, prodding, pornos, nothing. It took me quite a while after surgery before I was finally in the mood.
  I took a good 6 months maybe more before I decided I needed an orgasm (and boy did I ever)
  Porno movies are all crap. Really getting myself to that point wouldn't look sexy on a camera but it feels great
  I can definitely have more than 1 orgasm, although my limit appears to be about 3, sometimes 4 and then I am pretty drained.

Good replies -- Ya Sarah I had read to kind of treat it that way and not really "change" anything too much with how to do it as far as triggers and methods goes, but it took a little getting used to -- but im just happy to of gotten it behind me.  It was the same for after surgery when the catheter got removed and I was hoping the peeing thing would go ok, just relieved to have been able to be sure its all good down there, more or less

Someone sent me a private message and i'm unable to reply or send messages, maybe my accounts still too new? 

Anyway, hopefully they check this thread and this answers their questions...

Prior to the surgery I did about 8 hours of electrolysis with an experienced electrologist in my area (80$ per session) -- over the course of a couple of months.  I have pretty thin body-hair overall though and we focused on the area's that Dr. McGinns office outlined (Scrotal area + any present on shaft) pretty confident we got it all and it didn't break the bank..so I do recommend this.

As far as supplies to bring the list that the office provides is really pretty comprehensive, and the area has enough pharmacies and places around that you can send someone to pick up a few things here and there as needed -- If you had issues with constipation like I have had in the past after surgeries I really recommend making sure you adhere to all of the warnings about diet and stool softening, it really reduces the stress to know that your not gonna tear anything after the surgery due to a bad stomach ache.

As for things not on the list, I would *definitely* get a "back" pillow -- the ones with the little arms that help to keep you propped up for long periods -- The worst part was really back-pain/discomfort in the initial days after the surgery and although you cant use it right away, it will help during your stay in the area and help you out a lot.  I got one at Walmart for like 16$ and its purple too, and I still use it for dilating sessions. 

The nurses in lower bucks were all very kind and thoughtful and have cared for many patients from Dr. McGinn, so I was pretty happy with their attentiveness and skill, they would come in and change my ice packs and go and reply to my buzzes if I needed anything --

Yes exactly... but I opted for the more economical route 20$ish

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Cut-Fur-Backrest-with-Suede-Back/17237336

Well I´m 10 months post op and I have only had 3 orgasms and all of them in my dreams. They where all very physical and woke me up and made me very wet. I started to try out my new gear first after 6 months, but than again I had very hard scar tissue development and this made things just uncomfortable for a long time.
But having sex awake still does not give me orgasm and it is not because of the lack of trying. There is really nothing wrong with my sex drive, in my head at least, and I had a good lover. But no luck. I am a little disappointed right now and don´t feel like having sex. There is not really any special sensation in my clitoris and it´s basically just boring right now. I hope that what I experienced in my dreams could also happen in reality.
I was also wondering if testosterone would help physically. I´ve also had a little too low estrogen since operation and of course no T.

Quote from: Julo on December 14, 2012, 03:47:12 AM
Well I´m 10 months post op and I have only had 3 orgasms and all of them in my dreams. They where all very physical and woke me up and made me very wet. I started to try out my new gear first after 6 months, but than again I had very hard scar tissue development and this made things just uncomfortable for a long time.
But having sex awake still does not give me orgasm and it is not because of the lack of trying. There is really nothing wrong with my sex drive, in my head at least, and I had a good lover. But no luck. I am a little disappointed right now and don´t feel like having sex. There is not really any special sensation in my clitoris and it´s basically just boring right now. I hope that what I experienced in my dreams could also happen in reality.
I was also wondering if testosterone would help physically. I´ve also had a little too low estrogen since operation and of course no T.

I've had a lab test and my T is 0,03 or something, nearly to nothing, even a natal woman has a bit more, but I take both estrogen and progesterone which I think it helps raise the libido. I do feel aroused and like having sex with my boyfriend, three months post op but do not feel like I can get to a point to have orgasm yet.

@Julo, I feel about the same.. I'm almost a year post op and dit not have any orgasm. My libido has also disappeared since the surgery.

Quote from: strawberry on December 19, 2012, 03:39:17 PM
@Julo, I feel about the same.. I'm almost a year post op and dit not have any orgasm. My libido has also disappeared since the surgery.

Something interesting to note is that most cis women with low libido are given a small dose of testosterone to boost it so that they can experience a climax. Most post-op trans-women whether having had SRS or an Orchiectomy eventually have such low levels of testosterone the the libido will flatline completely. I use .02 ml T cream from a compounding pharmacy and rub it on my anus following a bath or shower, it's quickly absorbed there and leaves no mess. I have since experienced some remarkable orgasms unlike anything pre-op ever.

Am now almost 3 months post Op (monday) -- Been on the T cream for almost a month and I am not sure if thats long enough to draw significant conclusions however I have noticed myself feeling a bit frisky throughout the day at times even while at work, which is noticable because I had that whole "flatlined" feeling up until this point -- Although it might still be too early...especially since in the first couple of months you're still adjusting to things (I could still be counted in that phase) it may kind of lead you away from experimenting in that area -- I'm still not ready for sex yet, I feel like I probably wouldnt be able to have an orgasm with normal sex yet but im not sure -- Though since posting here I have brought my total up to 5 orgasms -- The compounding might just be what I needed...as it puts that hint of excitement into the idea of sex to the point where it can motivate one to put some effort into it more than if you were out of the mood...

A lot of trans women balk at the idea of any T whatsoever, but if you have achieved most of your feminizing development it isn't going to be a negative in any way, and for me it hasn't impeded any continued feminizing whatsoever. and with such a small amount it isn't going to cause any kind of reversals in your feminizing. It will heat up your libido just as it does for CIS women who need a boost. The adrenal gland is the only source of T once the male gonads are gone, so if you're not out playing sandlot football or backyard B-ball which isn't very likely for a post-op woman, then you aren't going to be getting enough T to keep your libido up to that of a normal red blooded CIS female. Be careful at banging away at the new equipment though as you are still healing!

I agree at first it seems little strange incorporating the hormone I have fought to suppress. But after reading into the biology of it all it does make sense

Quote from: Jessica07 on December 22, 2012, 11:59:19 AM
I agree at first it seems little strange incorporating the hormone I have fought to suppress. But after reading into the biology of it all it does make sense

With knowledge comes wisdom!

Now I know I will try T, even discussed it with my endo two weeks ago. I want to have as normal hormone levels as possible, even T level. Since my problem is very physical and not mental it makes sense. I want to have sex, it´s just physically boring right now.
But now I just had my colon connected again after a colostomy and also a reduction of my erectile tissue so it will have to wait for a while. My E level was too low also so I have different dose now to get it right first. Patience, patience and even more patience....
But now I am a little hopeful at least!

Julo

Quote from: Julo on December 23, 2012, 03:50:21 AM
Now I know I will try T, even discussed it with my endo two weeks ago. I want to have as normal hormone levels as possible, even T level. Since my problem is very physical and not mental it makes sense. I want to have sex, it´s just physically boring right now.
But now I just had my colon connected again after a colostomy and also a reduction of my erectile tissue so it will have to wait for a while. My E level was too low also so I have different dose now to get it right first. Patience, patience and even more patience....
But now I am a little hopeful at least!

Julo

Well you have a lot on your plate right now, but hang in there honey you will prevail and be able to enjoy yourself once again. The human body has a tremendous capacity to heal and adjust given time and patience along with the right medications. Keep us posted on your progress!