Quote from: aleon515 on June 05, 2012, 11:40:06 PM
This is a pretty interesting "self-awareness" activity. Might be interesting to compare notes if anyone is interested in this.

It applies very much to people who don't wish to use this term.

The concept is that each day you take a different question and answer it.

http://genderqueerid.com/post/19662297051/30-day-genderqueer-challenge

--Jay Jay

Ooo!  I wanna join!    Okay so I'm late to join this but I'll do the daily progression as well.  I'm excited!

1) Do you use any other terms to define or explain your gender?

I just began applying Androgyne, Genderqueer, and Two-Spirit to myself. 

Okay, here we go, day 2! 

2) How did you grow up with your gender?

I actually was one of those girls who was a 'tomboy' but who hated sports, lol.  I liked pants and legos, Star Wars toys, sci-fi and fantasy, poetry (loved Poe above all others), hated dresses, but then sometimes had Barbies (they would become Jabba the Hut's slave women, hahaha!), loved horses...

I never really fit in with other girls and didn't enjoy dress up but DID enjoy hanging out with boys and boy games like chase (as long as no one tackled me, I didn't like being touched), board games, computer games (especially later when we got past the BASIC days of games on cassette tape!).  I did have an enormous collection of stuffed animals that was my pride and joy as well.

My mother only sometimes stuck me in dresses but otherwise was very understanding and open to whatever I had an interest in playing with, which I find very fortunate.  She loved legos for the creativity aspect and one thing my parents were great about was letting us explore things on our own.  If we wanted a toy, well, that was a maybe, but if we wanted a book, it was almost a sure thing that we'd get it without too much pushback.

You can do more than one day at a time!

My mother never stuck me in dresses.

Of course, I was male-bodied.    Too bad!

Haha, well, you know, I'm trying to pace myself.

You know, I'm more open to wearing them now but I am SUPER omg picky about them!

I just feel way more comfortable in jeans or cargo pants, I don't even wear shorts!!!  I feel weird about my knees and my upper things need serious work.

3) What's your favorite ways of upsetting gender roles / genderbending / gender->-bleeped-<-ing?

I'll be honest, the term 'gender->-bleeped-<-ing' seems unnecessarily aggressive to me.  However, if by upsetting it's intended to mean how I personally act like myself and, without deliberately looking to cause provocation to others, and just 'shake things up', then that's more like it.

I just want to act like myself, that's it.  Yes, sometimes I feel awkward, but no I don't expect everyone to understand/accept me.  Then again, I've never expected that at all, people are different and that's okay. 

As far as ways that I 'am' that happen to go against gender norms, I think these are becoming less and less uncommon.  Being female who sometimes wears guys' clothing isn't really a big deal honestly.  I don't think my presentation gives anyone a second thought except maybe 'she's a little tomboyish'.  I wear t-shirts made for guys (common), I wear jeans or cargo pants most of the time (also super common), I wear clompy boots sometimes (not necessarily common but far from super unusual), and although I might curse a little more than some women and be a little more dominant or assertive, I don't really see this as...unusual?  I guess?  LOL.

This is an interesting question because when I saw that last term it actively provoked worry in me.  I don't LIKE upsetting other people.  I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin.  I've never honestly worried SUPER much about the perception of others, not exactly.  I'm just more recently figuring out that it's not so much that I've been worried about what they thought (though yes, sometimes our self-esteem kicks in and beats us down certainly) but more that I was worried about what I thought of myself.

I'll go out, far more comfortable dressed down and not wearing anything remotely 'feminine' and then I'll hang out with a few girlfriends and find myself envious of how pretty/lovely/feminine they look.  Am I comfy?  Physically, I guess, but emotionally?  No.  Clearly there's something I feel is missing there for me...something else I want/need.

Wow, this made me talk a lot.    Good question!

4) Name some queer heroes, influences, or crushes

Tegan and Sara, Melissa Etheridge, Ellen Degeneres, a lot actually. I always admire people who remain true to themselves.

Not a lot for this one.

1) Do you use any other terms to define or explain your gender?
I use genderqueer or gender-neutral to explain my gender. When I say that I'm either of those, they do tend to ask, "Why not just call yourself bisexual, it's the same thing, right?". Which can get pretty tiresome, if you ask me.

2) How did you grow up with your gender?
Uhm I just felt like I really didn't fully fit  in the mold defined by society as feminine and masculine.But I guess I hated things associated with femininity just a bit more. I just wore clothes that were tomboy-ish. There were times when I liked being called a boy.I liked playing with Power Rangers but I hated sports. I was a bookworm.

The thing is, I don't think I'll ever understand the value of make-up and why women wear such uncomfortable clothes.

1)Genderfluid, it just fits me perfectly. Sometimes girl, some times boy and sometimes both and anything between.

2)When I was little I wanted to be a boy. Only wore male clothing and hated anything girly. I remember saying that I wanted to be a boy at 4. Had mostly guy friends and loved cars and dinosaurs. Then I turned super girly, long hair and very colourful. Loved makeup and clothes. And then I just wore what I liked and found comfortable. And acted how I wanted without caring about what others thought.

3) I like acting and dressing in a way that doesn't mach. Being super feminine and hyper in hoodies and pants, and being rough and masculine in skirts and leggings.

4)RuPaul Charles and Graham Chapman. And some friends :>

5)I don't have much dysphoria. I'm not that fond of my chest though. It makes me feel down sometimes. And my height.

6)I didn't feel like female fit, but nor male or androgynous. And then last year or something I found out about gender fluid and it just fit me perfectly. Male, female and sometimes in between.

7)I love my healthy, thick hair and thin waist. I also love that I can eat whatever I want and not put on any weight. I kinda like being skinny :P

Quote from: Faun on November 14, 2012, 09:11:36 AM
Snip

6)I didn't feel like female fit, but nor male or androgynous. And then last year or something I found out about gender fluid and it just fit me perfectly. Male, female and sometimes in between.

7)I love my healthy, thick hair and thin waist. I also love that I can eat whatever I want and not put on any weight. I kinda like being skinny

#6 sounds very familiar to me!

#7 makes me jealous.  It sometimes seems I could eat nothing at all and put on weight!  I still need to lose 25 pounds by the end of the year.  Good luck with that, huh!?

Quote from: Jamie D on November 14, 2012, 09:35:32 AM
#6 sounds very familiar to me!

#7 makes me jealous.  It sometimes seems I could eat nothing at all and put on weight!  I still need to lose 25 pounds by the end of the year.  Good luck with that, huh!?

Metabolism is weird ;P I hope you reach your goal :D

I got past one hurdle - Halloween - with out too much "damage." Stayed even for the week.

But with Thanksgiving and the other holidays coming up, I have to keep in mind I could really blow all the progress with one pig-out!

Enjoy your holidays, though.

1) Do you use any other terms to define or explain your gender?

A: Just two: non-binary and transgender. I'm not sure if I could use another term accurately enough to include it within my vocabulary. Plus, why stumble into a corner with a label? Maybe I'm just scared of finding a descriptive label...

2) How did you grow up with your gender?

A: I was always a tomboy. Played with the boys, got dirty with the boys. But clothing was always stereotypical female, dresses, skirts, ribbon, and lace.

3) What's your favorite ways of upsetting gender roles / genderbending / gender->-bleeped-<-ing?

A: Blending stereotypes. Clothes, hair, make-up; things that can physically alter how someone will 'clock' you. Otherwise, when it comes to mannerisms (etc.), I just don't pay attention if it is a male or female behavior.

4) Name some queer heroes, influences, or crushes.

A: Maybe it's my fault for not looking into this more, in the who's who in the transgender community. More often than not, I'm not specifically looking queer people but just people.

5) Dysphoria and how you manage it.

A: Writing it out. If I have someone nearby, just talking about how I'm feeling seems to make things easier. I'm inadvertently social when it comes to my emotions.

Schu, I use my blog for fun stuff, but also as a place to work out some of my issues.  "Writing it out" is a very effective way to do it.  Some of our members keep journals and diaries.

I find that the input I receive from my friends here, many of whom are much further along than I am, provides me with plenty to think about.

The fun stuff helps me to feel more apart of the community too.

You can request your own blog after 50 posts.  Mine is called "Jamie's World."

I was curious about the blogs; thanks for putting it into light.

I've never been that great at keeping journals, diaries just because there's the idea of continuously writing in the same place every time. Sounds silly, I know, but I just write on whatever I have. Napkins, magazine covers, random pieces of paper. Most of the time, I lose it and don't get a chance to look at it again. Other times, I do find it on some rainy day, and it reminds me how thankful I should be for the good days.

I think I'm game for this even though I'm rather late.

1) Do you use any other terms to define or explain your gender? On any given day I'll use male, androgyne, or genderfluid or any combination thereof.  It entirely depends on what I'm feeling though male leaning androgyne is what I have a tendency to use the most whenever it crosses my mind that I can explain more of how I feel that way.

2) How did you grow up with your gender? Honestly, I don't really know.  I never focused on gender or anything that would be considered stereotypically of one gender.  I liked a lot of the things that boys did and a lot of the things that girls did.  I dressed how I wanted (thanks to a wonderful mom who saw no issue with that) and this could be anything from jeans to dresses and everything in between.  I behaved how I wanted in terms of gender.  Gender never even crossed my mind as a thing until puberty because I had never focused on it before in terms of identity and how I related to myself and other females, and because my body was changing in ways that were heavily disturbing to me because it just wasn't right for it to change that way.

1) Do you use any other terms to define or explain your gender? I identify as male.  Some people tend to take me as "crossdresser," and if I say I'm a male adrogyne, I get a lot of confused/dumb looks, and then I try again with "androgynous male."  Not that I haven't fancied being able to fit into or fill out some of my dresses a little better, but I've generally grown to think it's more of a case where the clothes may have to be tailored more to fit me rather than the other way around, so I do still feel right as a man.

2) How did you grow up with your gender? Gender wasn't really important to me on an internal level, but I was scared about it a lot in the broader world.  There were expectations for me, and some of them being male-specific bothered me.  Granted, there were also a lot of female-specific rules that bothered me, and there were also general ruled I hated, but I wasn't really able to focus myself and create a proper "I hate" list.  In retrospect, there were some rules that I hated back then that served a constructive purpose, but the gender-specific ones generally needed to apply to everyone (not just my gender or the "other" gender), and a lot of rules were also a lot worse than a first blush suggested.  It's not to say I didn't break some gender expectations just by letting my personality take over (like letting nails grow out out of apathy, or not wanting to play sports much when I was little), but I was not standing my ground a lot -- although being a kid, I didn't really have the skills and power to properly do that.

3) What's your favorite ways of upsetting gender roles / genderbending / gender->-bleeped-<-ing? I am going to qualify this question by saying I don't have an interest in "breaking the rules," but rather that I have things to do that happens to violate norms, and I shouldn't have to hold back for any rules that are unnecessary.  I actually tend to be a little more pleasant and forgiving than normal when I am breaking the norms -- partly I do it to facilitate understanding and show where I'm covering from, but it is also easier to be kind to others when I am being kind to myself!

That said, the only gender bending thing I do that people particularly care about (and which takes the title of "favorite" by default) is wearing dresses (as well as the shoes and possibly the limited jewelry that comes with it).  The ones I wear are generally quite soft and comfortable (compared to men's clothes of the same level of formality), and they can be quite beautiful (with a relatively simple touch).  I tend to be overdressed when I wear them, but they are the clothes designated as "women's" I like most, so I try to make it work.

4) Name some queer heroes, influences, or crushes. I think Eddie Izzard is influential as far as (1) not neatly settling into a CD stereotype and in fact pointing out certain nuances of how trends work, and (2) having things to talk about besides gender and showing himself to be a multi-dimensional human being.  Generally I think in terms of ideas rather than people, so there may be others who have been influential, but I wouldn't remember who they are.

5) Dysphoria and how you manage it. I use whatever means, although I broadly avoid drugs as an answer, as they can have other effects I can't anticipate or properly understand, and I'm worried about losing "me" in the process.  I look for information that helps me understand, and I try to find things to do and places to go where I can be myself.  I have taken a handful of psychology courses, and I have used Susan's message board as well!  I should probably see a Gender Therapist (to fill in the gaps and smooth out the edges if nothing else), but it is tricky to see one without driving a ways.

6) When did you realize you were Genderqueer? I'm not really sure, because I think the evolution of my understanding of myself and this concept was a gradual one (starting from about as long as I can remember until a few months ago), so there isn't some singular moment I can point to.  I also see the idea of gender roles (and their constraints) as being as a social problem more than a matter of my identity, so I generally think the idea isn't so much about me.

7) What are your favorite physical features of yourself? I don't play favorites, but my legs have been one of my strong points!

8 ) An unpopular or unsure opinion about the GSM community? I could say there are a number of boneheaded people in the community who are too sure of how being TG works and inappropriately judge or diagnose others, but there are obviously people out this realm who do the same thing, and the idea of people running to hasty conclusions about others and speaking too authoritatively is a general problem (not just limited to gender/sexuality issues).

9) What have you done or plan to do to socially transition? Pronouns, name, coming out, etc. I attend a church where I can be myself, and I have come out to a variety of people in my life.  The latter is a gradual process, but I'm at the point where there are more family/friends I am out to than not.  I'm still not comfortable being myself in all areas important to me, so it remains a work in progress.

10) Are you taking any steps to physically transition? No, I'm fairly sure I'm more or less happy as a man (and an definitely not a woman).  However, I do plan to undergo laser hair removal so I don't have to continue shaving, in part for time reasons, but partly because my skin doesn't hold up as well as I'd like while shaving.

11) Your first experience with a GSM organization or event. The first time I went to a GLBT-related gathering, the presumption is that people made was that the people there were gay or lesbian.  When I did the same for a "gender association" to serve primarily transgender individuals, the first assumptions were transsexual and then crossdresser (which I don't feel right with, because I have no intention of wearing clothes for women, but rather that I want to wear these clothes that are nice but just happen to be designated for women).  Male androgyne, gender nonconformist, these are more in-line with who I am, but since I was not the "default," I had to go to extra lengths to explain myself, and by that point I'm not any better off than going to a more-integrated "accepting" organization (like a UU church).  There were some nice things going on at these meetings, but they weren't giving me much that I couldn't find somewhere else.

I've meant to start this when I joined. So here's my catch-up.

1) Do you use any other terms to define or explain your gender? Well, sometimes (actually that's a lie) I end up getting confused about these things, myself, so I'm always shocked to see how clear it seems to come to everyone else. I usually go "I'm not male or female, mentally," but to someone else, I'd said "it's like being both at the same time, while still being neither" which again, confused me, but seemed to ring clear to him.

2) How did you grow up with your gender? I was a guy. I was born with a dick, I wasn't entirely into princess things, so I was a guy. Now that never stopped me from talking to girls in 3rd and 4th grade, seeming to feel something similar that they did (and I still do). I was always under the ignorant impression of gender and sex being the same thing, until I was told otherwise by a friend I had (see number 4). After alot of remembering things, I remembered A. Guys abhorred thinking about doing something girly, which I never really saw why, and B. always asked the question "is it manly enough"  which I never really did, either. One of the big factors in all of this was that I watched Powerpuff Girls when it was on Cartoon Network, and when ONLY GIRLS WATCHED IT and loved it to bits. I still do. But sadly, I was the only one with the kind of mentality of "it's a show. It's a cool show" instead of "Fighting turtles = Boy, fighting girls = Girl". I guess a big indicator of this whole thing could have been that I never followed the "Cooties" game (not the building a bug one). However, at about 8th grade, I started to try and be something I wasn't. I did have fun in the process, but it ended up with a girl who I wanted as a friend completely turning away from me, because she thought I was a jerk (I had been to her, a couple years back), which I never wanted to be, and all the other guys were like "Dude, that's awesome!" ... Then we should also take in the fact that I found that my body works more similarly to a girl's than a guy's (Don't ask me why, or how. You'd be better off making pretzels out of sparkly powdered glue).

3) What's your favorite ways of upsetting gender roles / genderbending / gender->-bleeped-<-ing? Bronies. I ->-bleeped-<-ing love them. Yes, they can be creepy at times. But bear with me. They have that mentality I did when I was watching Powerpuff Girls: It's a show. It's a damn good show. It's not a case of "male" or "female". I will never watch Deadliest Catch or Desperate Housewives. Sorry. I'm just not that interested in either.


4) Name some queer heroes, influences, or crushes. Hm... I distinctly remember a friend I had in high school who identified (probably still does) as bigender. She dated someone who also ended up identifying as bigender (don't know if that's the case, anymore). But either way, said friend really helped clear up alot of terminology that I was ignorant/confused about, as well as helped me through some of my own dysphoria.

5) Dysphoria and how you manage it. HA! That's a good one. Most of the time, I fall asleep after a headache and just wish the dysphoria would simply go away. But it's like that dog that won't ->-bleeped-<-ing let go of your leg. It's coming back to me, I can feel it. But yeah, I just normally trudge through it. God, gender is such a goddamn paradox.

I have answered most of the questions, too. Actually more than once, but the first ideas are from summer and I'm guessing it'd be totally interesting to read them again some time.

But here's a link to my answers from today if someone wants to read: http://phoeniksprince.wordpress.com/2012/12/24/68/