I want to know how I can go about living as the opposite gender? In my case,as a male.I want to do this to see if I really want to become a male someday.I don't even know how to begin to do it.One of my main problems is that I look really feminine.I also don't have much money,so if there's something cheap or free I could do,that'd be great.I'd like for people to start calling me "Sir" instead of "Miss" or "Ma'am." That's what they see,and I'd like to do something about that.

Any and all advice is appreciated.

EinBlackwood, the underlying issue with gender dysphoria is the your "gender" (your mental identity) does not match your sex (body or phenotype).

Many in your situation would not sat they wanted to live in the "opposite gender," because their gender is already incongruent with their sex.  The implication is that you are not dysphoric.

If you have not done so already, it would likely be beneficial to talk out you gender issues with a trained therapist, to determine appropriate steps.

I know that they don't match,because my body is female,while my gender switches between male and female. I've already spoken with my counselor,and she said to just go ahead and keep doing what I'm doing. I've been dressing more masculine,and to me that feels right.I'm wondering if I'll be satisfied with just doing that forever.

Thanks,Jamie!

Quote from: EinBlackwood on December 24, 2012, 03:28:59 AM
I know that they don't match,because my body is female,while my gender switches between male and female. I've already spoken with my counselor,and she said to just go ahead and keep doing what I'm doing. I've been dressing more masculine,and to me that feels right.I'm wondering if I'll be satisfied with just doing that forever.

Thanks,Jamie!

You sound as if you are a lot like me - gender fluid to some degree.  Have you visited the Androgyne Talk board much?

Dressing in gender "appropriate" clothing is one way people cope with the dysphoria.  In fact, before HRT and surgeries, it was about the only way.  I realize, of course, that clothing and gender appropriateness are cultural and social constructs.

I think I have visited it a bit,but I shall definitely do so more in the future.I wonder if someone innn the Androgyne Talk board knows what I should do?

Hi there I'm quite new to this all, too, but I can share some stuff I have found useful.

When I decided I need to just start living as me and not hide behind the girl role I had, I started slowly getting more androgynous clothing. I found leather jackets to be very useful for hiding the female parts and soon started wearing mostly collar shirts and loose, dark jeans. At the same time bright colors started to make way for black and cold colored clothes, though dunno how much help that is. That was about 1,5 years ago.

Basically I just went with what was most comfortable for me. I even thought I didn't have dysphoria about wearing clothes that are shaped for a female, but after trying on men's clothes for real, I understood how much anxiety the clothes I had gave me. Nowadays I just feel I can't go back to living in that awkwardness, I'd rather look like crap and without style in boys clothes than have clothes that show off a curve. I'd recommend window-shopping at a boy's department (men's S size is usually too big for me, boy's clothes have much more fitting sizes...) and trying everything interesting out, and then buying similar ones from thrift stores if money is a problem. I buy almost no clothes new.

Besides clothes, I found exercise to be very useful. Especially upper body and stomach (since I used to despise how feminine and soft my stomach was). And running did miracles to the lower body, I got much thinner on the hips.

The last important thing I've done so far was cutting my hair short about 3 months ago. My long, red and curly hair was the one thing I thought screamed girl in me, and I was strongly attached to it because I thought it made me "pass" as a girl, and not seem so fake. Strange, I now... But now it's sort of short and I look much more androgynous. Maybe more on the glam rock / alternative rock side of things,  but still. I do want partly long hair when I pass more as a boy, though. About style in general, if you're not looking for blending in, the goth/punk/glamrock/japanese music scenes have lots of androgynous people and can be great examples. They definitely were for me.

Hopefully some of this stuff is useful to you, too ^^ Oh, and of course, binding was the first big change I did, and emotionally one of the most important. I started out with practically anything that bound but didn't hurt, then moved on to one sport bra, then two tight ones, then at last a real binder. The next step will definitely be a tighter real binder

I'll definitely get more androgynous clothes.I love wearing polo shirts and flannels.Dark jeans are very nice,too.I have really short hair now,and I think that helps a bit.Exercising sounds good too,I've been meaning to do that.Would sit ups work for the upper body,or is there something else? It's really cool that you mentioned Japanese music.That's the main genre I listen to,and I'd love to look more like them.I love your style! You look great in your display pic.Very handsome,if that's okay to say.Oh! I've wanted to try binding,but wasn't sure what to use. I've read that you can damage the tissue if you use the wrong method.Can you recommend something safe and effective?

A lot of that was very useful.Thank you,Phoeniks!

Sit ups are of course a good start I do mostly push ups since shoulders and arms are the stuff I mostly want to focus on, since I'd like my body to be more V-shaped. Here are some exercises that I think are useful: http://www.livestrong.com/article/377961-workout-for-the-deltoids-without-weights/ (Please ignore the huge hulk in the picture ) I work with weights, too. And yoga has good muscle-building and toning poses.

Aww, thanks for the compliment ^^ I do like being called that.

As far as binding goes, maybe getting a tight-fitting sport bra is the easiest way to start? The FTM section here has lots of recommendations for real binders and where to buy them, I only have experience of one and don't know enough to compare them.

Thanks for the link! Now all I have to do is wait for my navel piercing to finish healing then I can start exercising! You're welcome! I love complimenting people.So,with the tight-fitting sport bra,do I just put it on normally,or...? I'll definitely check out the FtM section. And this might be a bit off topic (maybe),but how do you get your skin to be so clear? Sorry for all the questions!

Don't be sorry, questions are good I have lots of them, too.
I used the sport bras normally, nothing strange going on there. After time I started using two because they bound better that way, but just one that maybe has adaptable size is really good. Just trying them on and picking the one that works best and feels comfortable should do the thing.

I dunno about the skin, never paid much notice to it, but thanks Don't they usually say that digesting lots of water, vegetables and good fats like olive oil should make it clearer?

And great that you made me talk about this stuff, this made me work out today and that's always a great thing ^^

Ah,okay.I'll just go and try them on. Thanks a lot.You're welcome.All that probably does help the skin,and I need to drink more water anyway.Oh,good! I'm glad I could help you work out in a way.

You could simply try expressing yourself as you feel comfortable.

There is nothing to stop you wearing whatever clothes you want to, especially since you are a gfemale.

I'm sure you can change your name as you choose. Few societies restrict this, though I know some do.

Provided it's properly prescribed, there is no reason you can use appropriate medicines. Testerone is one example, but that will be a matter for the prescriber of course.

Equally, there is absolutely nothing to stop you from asking for a properly qualified and registered surgeon about altering your physical shape.

Basically, I'm suggesting a rather less prescribed approach. You have nothing to prove to anyone other then yourself and if anyone doesn't like it they can get a life, preferably their own.

Thanks,spacial! I'll just continue to wear masculine clothes.I was wanting to change my name.I think I'd like to look into testosterone.Is there anything I could do to figure out if surgery is for me? Sometimes I feel like just dressing like a man is enough,other times I feel like it's not.Yeah,I guess I really don't have anything to prove to anyone.I was