I was in the bedroom complaining about my mustache while trimming it when my wife walked in and asked what's wrong.  I told her I was tired of what it takes to keep my mustache trimmed (which has been true for a while, but I just can't seem to shave it yet)

She asked if I plan on shaving it.  I side stepped the answer by saying that I've had my mustache for a very long time.  She then said she liked my mustache and she hopes I keep it but not if it would make me unhappy.  She continued to say that she didn't want anything to amke me unhappy no matter what, but she seemed almost sad when she said it.

It was all kind of out of the blue so I couldn't help but think that maybe she's either stumbled onto this site, or she found some of my poetry ... or maybe I talk in my sleep.  I  feel a little paranoid right now because I don't know what she knows or suspects.

              It is pretty hard to stumble on to a site but it is easy to follow the explorer history or internet files and cookies.  All that are not out must be careful.  She sounds like she really loves you and may be open to your feelings which is a good thing. Could just be a coincidence too.

               I hope all turns out well for you Tiffanie.


beth

I know what youre talking about there. Except my wife found me out by using my books,( as in reading). See, i have always wrote my female initials on the sides and my name in the cover. Well when we moved in together, I never thought about it. Well a year after we were married,
she confronted me with them. So, I went a head and told her my story. She took it well. and is supporting of me. so, go ahead and tell,better now than later.

I told my wife outright that I was TS. She took it quite well considereing we had already been together 20 some odd years without a clue. She said she loved me and all she wanted was that I be happy. Perhaps your wife has discovered your secret on her own. Sounds like an opening to be honest with her and you should be honest with her. Don't let it turn into a confrontation by keeping it secret too much longer. Do however, pick the right time.

Cassie

Hi Tiffanie,

I look back to when my wife found out. I actually thought she new and would be quite open in fact as Beth pointed out she found out through the explorer history. Luckily things turned out ok but it didn't look like it was going to go that way for a while.

The following link gives an insight into what it was like for mr.https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,799.0.html

Hope things go well. I also think telling on your terms would have to be easier than going through what I went through.

Shelley

Thanks everyone for your help.  I guess saying she may have "stumbled across" the site was poorly worded.  I should have said she may have discovered I've been visiting the site.  We have separate computers and I keep mine set to not record history and all auto complete options turned off.  But I do not empty my temp files or cookies very often    I know she's been on my computer a few times lately.

Quote from: beth on November 21, 2005, 11:06:17 PM
She sounds like she really loves you and may be open to your feelings which is a good thing. Could just be a coincidence too.

You are right, Beth.  She is truly my soul mate.  The love we share I could never have fathomed before I met her.  She could just be sensing my uneasy feelings lately.

Quote from: JenniferElizabeth on November 22, 2005, 10:24:41 AM
I have always wrote my female initials on the sides and my name in the cover.

I never write my female name anywhere where it might be discovered.  My wife has seen me at an online game sites using my female persona, but that is not unusual for me to use a female character ... she usually just smiles and shakes her head.

Cassandra and Shelley, I have spent a lot of time here (probably way too much time ) reading and learning.  I have read your posts and was touched by them.  Shelley, it was your post that made me rethink how much my wife actually knew.

I know I have to talk to her, but the thought of the potential consequences frightens me.  And I also know I need to find a therapist (but that is scary, too).

Thanks again,

Tiffanie

Hi Tiffanie,

I can understand you being frightened  especially my early posts would be enough to scare anyone. The thing that I would highlight is that at my worst moments during that time I received messages of support from people here. Those messags helped me to realise that I was not facing the end of the world and most importantly I wasn't alone.

You may, as I did, have to come to a compromise as was the case with my wife so that we could stay together but life is full of compromises. Ultimately, of course, the decision is yours and no matter which way it turns out my heart is with you. The thing you need to decide is do you want to tell her on your terms or do you want to risk it being out of your hands if your wife finds out?

Good luck Shelley