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Does my male name OUT me?

Started by Noah, January 12, 2013, 07:13:46 AM

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Noah

I chose to keep my name (Noah) in transition, because I liked it, and some girls I know are named Noah. In Israel there are a ton of women named Noa...Unfortunately here in America, it is almost exclusively a male name. I have had some practica issues using it in terms of passing, because I pass well - but on occasion my name has swayed the perspective of someone to see me male...I don't want to be a contributing factor in my own problem, so I am once again considering a name change. That why I changed my username to Diana...I love that name, and am seriosly considering it as a new name. Di for short...do you think this is necessary or would you accept a woman who looked like me having the name Noah more easily than I imagine?
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Elspeth

Apart from your emotional attachment to the old name, is there another reason you don't want to change it? It is a very unusual name for a girl in this culture, but not unheard of. If you want to still have a unique name, I'm sure you could come up with one that is less ambiguous. Anything that is ambiguous increases the chances of someone re-evaluating, and for most of us there will always be a few physical clues that can lead someone to wonder about our birth sex.

It's ultimately your choice, since even cisgendered women can trigger people to look at them and wonder about birth sex. More and more now, as transgendered people become more commonplace and visible. No one is "safe" on this and that's not likely to change, at least not in this decade or the next one, except in a gradual way.
"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future."
- Sonmi-451 in Cloud Atlas
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Carol2000

Using the name Noah is going to simply cause you a whole load of problems. Visually in your avatar you look very feminine, but do you really want to go through life, not only dealing with all the stuff we have to deal with, but also having to explain why you have what is perceived to be in Western society a boy's name?

Also, even if you have a very feminine sounding voice and you're on the telephone to, let's say, a call centre for argument's sake, they will hear a feminine voice but then be presented with a male name.

If your voice is borderline, they will assume you are a guy and any correspondence will have Mr Noah (Smith) on it. Friends of mine who get mistaken for male over the phone are never happy about it and I can understand why. I am fortunate that my voice both face-to-face and over the phone comes across as very feminine.

Diana is such a beautiful name and I would suggest going that route.

Best wishes, Diana, I hope your future is bright.

Caroline
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Saffron

Here Noa is a female name and Noah the male version. Still there's a lot of girls named Noah. If you want to keep the name you can just use Noa.

I think it's a pretty name  :)
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tgchar21

How about compromising and keeping Noah as your post-transition middle name? That will give you the benefit of a new first name that clearly indicates your gender, while retaining your "semi-unisex" original name in some form. A plus to that idea is that you could still go by Noah to friends and family who knew you from before without rushing them on accepting your new name, while you'll be Diana to those who need to discern your gender when writing a letter, over the phone, etc. Another benefit (as opposed to a complete name change) is that it also gives you a clever alternative explanation if you're in a situation like applying for a job where they may have to check records under your original name, since it's not unusual to go by your middle name.
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Elspeth

The only woman I know of who has my given name is Brett Somers.



I was given that name at a time when Bret Maverick (TV gambler character in the show of the same name) was popular. In my generation and those younger than me, the name is pretty much exclusively male, with or without the second 't'.  (Probably because of the association with James Garner's character?)

Telling, perhaps, that at college almost no one would believe that mine was the 'one t' version. I used to consider holding onto it, and I did eventually press most people to use the "Brett" version, but there are more and more of them in directing and screenwriting positions in the film and TV industry, and I never really did like the name much, except for the time (my very first audition for a play in high school) when the director called me up as "Bette Davis" having misread it. My friends loved it, but so did I at the time.

The name (and my interests and style of writing in online forums) did often lead some to assume I was a woman, but usually in a questioning way... since it was so much more often seen as a boy name. That fairly frequent "confusion" was at least part of what led me to seek out some of the early trans BBS's back before the 'net destroyed standalone BBS's.
"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future."
- Sonmi-451 in Cloud Atlas
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Beth Andrea

Quote from: Diana89 on January 12, 2013, 07:13:46 AM
I chose to keep my name (Noah) in transition, because I liked it, and some girls I know are named Noah. In Israel there are a ton of women named Noa...Unfortunately here in America, it is almost exclusively a male name. I have had some practica issues using it in terms of passing, because I pass well - but on occasion my name has swayed the perspective of someone to see me male...I don't want to be a contributing factor in my own problem, so I am once again considering a name change. That why I changed my username to Diana...I love that name, and am seriosly considering it as a new name. Di for short...do you think this is necessary or would you accept a woman who looked like me having the name Noah more easily than I imagine?

When in Rome...Maybe make it a middle name? Diana Noah ____?
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Ms. OBrien CVT

Or maybe Diana Noa.  Sounds similar.

  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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LilDevilOfPrada

Where I come from Noah is 100% male. So depending where you are it can out you.
Awww no my little kitten gif site is gone :( sad.


2 Febuary 2011/13 June 2011 hrt began
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Isabelle

I don't think it outs you at all, Noah is a female name that gets misused in western culture. Apparently the male version is "Noach" ... don't ask me how that's pronounced, I don't speak Hebrew. I think when girls have slightly masculine names it's cool. I have a female family member called Frankie, I had a friend in school called Jack. I don't think you need to change it at all.
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LilDevilOfPrada

I say change your name to Takimina :P
Awww no my little kitten gif site is gone :( sad.


2 Febuary 2011/13 June 2011 hrt began
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Adam (birkin)

It depends on how well you pass. Judging by your avatar, you pass flawlessly as female, so I doubt a male name would cause you issues.

I say this because I changed my name pre-T and never passed for male. People literally just assumed I was a girl with a different sort of name. No one ever thought (to knowledge) that I must be transgender.
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Isabelle

Exactly what Caleb says, if you pass then noone will notice. Nobody ever "suspects" someone is transsexual unless there's something about them that's obviously not passing, body/face/voice etc Unless your name is undeniably male (Barry for example) noone will notice.
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Shawn Sunshine

I have head a few girls being called Noah, My name is Shawn which is usually male, but can also be used as female

God actually told me to keep my name, but go with what your heart tells you and what feels good for you.
Shawn Sunshine Strickland The Strickalator

#SupergirlsForJustice
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Elspeth

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on January 12, 2013, 02:23:51 PM
God actually told me to keep my name, but go with what your heart tells you and what feels good for you.

The last Goddess who spoke to me was a trickster, and from what I can recall it was more like a cackle of victory than any more specific message.

Before she came, though, I did have a group of Goddesses telling me that they were there to keep my brain from frying from the overload of sacred wisdom that was flooding into my head and body. I don't recall any directives about names, though.
"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future."
- Sonmi-451 in Cloud Atlas
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Kevin Peña

Not at all. Just tell them that your parents are weird or that they're from some anonymous country that no one ever heard of. For example, one of my classmates is from Myanmar (bet you never heard of it  :P), and his name is Yursultan (pronounced "Your Sultan"- I know, it's awesome!). It's so cool, and no one questions him.  ;)
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Shawn Sunshine

Quote from: Elspeth on January 12, 2013, 07:27:41 PM
The last Goddess who spoke to me was a trickster, and from what I can recall it was more like a cackle of victory than any more specific message.

Before she came, though, I did have a group of Goddesses telling me that they were there to keep my brain from frying from the overload of sacred wisdom that was flooding into my head and body. I don't recall any directives about names, though.

ahh well here is what actually happened to me:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,131706.0.html
Shawn Sunshine Strickland The Strickalator

#SupergirlsForJustice
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oZma

what about Ryan? I haven't changed mine... does it out me?
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tgchar21

Quote from: oZma on January 13, 2013, 11:08:08 PM
what about Ryan? I haven't changed mine... does it out me?

Ditto to what I said to Noah/Diana about my idea of keeping your old name as a middle name and choosing a new clearly female first name. Although there are female Ryans out there, it's much more common for males (so you'd have the same issues with being misgendered that has been mentioned in this thread).
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Michelle G

How 'bout "Nora" looks like, sounds like Noah a little bit ;)

  There seems to be a trend lately of parents giving new born girls male names, there is a celebrity couple that named their daughter "Maxwell", fine I suppose if you grow up a pretty, Hollywood brat ;)

  And remember the SNL skit "Pat" well, when a good friend of mine came out as trans around the time of that skit she changed her male name Pat to "Meagan" for obvious reasons.
Just a "California Girl" trying to enjoy each sunny day
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