In late March I had one conversation with my wife regarding TG issues related to me.  It was agonizingly stressful for me but several individuals at this forum convinced me that not telling my wife was causing her to feel she had done something wrong.  It took about one week for my wife to acknowledge our conversation and she was not interested in any additional conversation on that topic.  Each week she had a new phrase for me and by May she would insult me in front of the children.

In late May she tossed an article in Newsweek dated May 21 regarding TG on the kitchen table in front of the children and told me I need to read it.

I never shared my TG issues with my children and I have not yet mentioned the meds to my wife.  I have felt better by taking the meds.

My youngest daughter was fascinated by the TG article in Newsweek and asked me if I could make a lady's voice.  I told her that usually takes training and practice.  She insisted I try and I did.  She thought it was funny and said I sounded gay.

By this time both my daughters were engaged with the TG article and were showing me that an older MTF was wearing a wig.

When my daughters left the room my wife wanted to discuss the Newsweek article with me.  She showed me the picture of the older MTF and told me that I would be an ugly girl.

My wife then asked me if I plan on wearing pantyhose?  I told her not today.

I then asked her if she knew of any TG books at the library.  She said she never looked for any. 
...........................
I do not think my daughters know about my TG issues.
............
I felt very embarrassed and ashamed.  I have read that other TG parents have been able to joke about these issues in front of their family.

W
 

I know how you feel.  It's a ton of rocks that you carry and can never find a way to get rid of them.  My mother told me I would make an ugly woman.  It all was completely unbearable to me at the time.  I don't know how we get through it. But somehow we do.

My ex once told me sternly "I hope that you are happy sitting around watching TV in your high heels."  (something like that anyway).

So, Do you plan to wear pantyhose?

Chin up doll.

Cindi

The ugly, of freekish woman retort, is a usual reaction
and it no way bears on what she actually think you'll look like.
She's in the lashing out phase.

She doesn't want to be embarassed, and she doesn't want to
say it, but she doesn't want you to be embarassed.
Everyone who loves you wants your happiness in the end,
it might take a while before they can put the jumble mess of
emotions they have inside into a cohesive sentence to say so,
but I've got a feeling they will.

The first few months is ALWAYS tough, hang in there.
It took you decades to get there, you can't ask them
to be on the same page in a few days.

Quote from: Cindi Jones on May 30, 2007, 01:01:54 AM
My mother told me I would make an ugly woman.

Yeah, that's what my mom told me too. 

Quote from: Cindi Jones on May 30, 2007, 01:01:54 AM
So, Do you plan to wear pantyhose?

Not today.    Actually I am totally confused on what I will do.
.......................

Quote from: Keira on May 30, 2007, 01:10:36 AM
The ugly, of freekish woman retort, is a usual reaction
and it no way bears on what she actually think you'll look like.
She's in the lashing out phase.

She doesn't want to be embarrassed, and she doesn't want to
say it, but she doesn't want you to be embarrassed.
Everyone who loves you wants your happiness in the end,
it might take a while before they can put the jumble mess of
emotions they have inside into a cohesive sentence to say so,
but I've got a feeling they will.

The first few months is ALWAYS tough, hang in there.
It took you decades to get there, you can't ask them
to be on the same page in a few days.

Keira your comments make sense.  My wife told me that I would never be hired by anyone and I would be an outcast.  She also said it must be very painful if someone would go through all this trouble.  She has been thinking about what I told her for the past two months.
...........................

Quote from: Melissa on May 30, 2007, 01:21:05 AM

Quote from: Cindi Jones on May 30, 2007, 01:01:54 AM
My mother told me I would make an ugly woman.

Yeah, that's what my mom told me too. 

Well your moms were incorrect. 
Unfortunately I do agree with my wife. 
................

Thanks for sharing.

Wendy........
I started my transition in earnest in Jan, 2005, at the age of 54.  Since then, my body has done an amazing thing.  It has metamorphosed from a very average-looking dumpy man to an acceptably okay-looking woman.  Like Gump's mom said, " you never know what you're going to get".  .  In a couple years, look back at an old photo.  My daughter did, then looked at me and said, "you really are pretty, Daddy".  .......made me cry.
So, I would try to keep the peace, quietly, and sit tight like a caterpillar, and let yourself be amazed.


Hugs

Bev

My wife said the same thing, that I will never pass as a woman without FFS. I think its the standard reaction. First their femininity gets threatened, then stomped on, then you look better than them? I don't know..this is all pretty wild. I'm just starting to grasp things myself.

Not all women wear pantyhose btw...and some absolutely hate it.

I hate hate hate pantyhose made of nylon or any other foam-like materials. Nylon has always made my skin crawl, and just a small touch just... freaks me out beyond words. I know there are alternatives, and I may wear some of those at some point... but I don't know yet. o-o

when you do wear pantyhose, when is the best time to wear it, when your wearing skirts?

I wear skirts even when its close to freezing (that's when I wear tights), when its about 45F in daytime and more I start wearing hoses with skirts (depends if its windy or not). If the morning temp is more than 60F, forget about hoses, its bare skin for me (cause in 70+ temps with hoses I get all sweaty... Yuck!).

So, I wear skirts from March to December, try doing that with covering your legs... BRRR. I don't have knee high boots, which would be one solution to the cold :-).

Of course, that's with shoes, with boots you can go further into winter and maybe forgo any hoses or tights longer. I have 2/3 calf boot, I don't like to go higher than that.

what about hose vs stockings

Heh, yes...

Of the four people I've told, the two dearest to me who I was intimately involved with told me that I'd make an ugly woman. Then I showed them the teddy pictures  Of course, one thought my face was beautiful regardless of gender and the other still maintained it's impossible. Both were endlessly floored and unable to grasp how people constantly mistake me for a woman when I'm not even trying to pass. Which relates to the thread I just made!

However, yes. It's a favored avenue from scorned (either because of the process, or for completely unrelated reasons) women, to attack the behavior/looks of we TG. I cannot recall which poster it was who has a thread here where her mother was calling her not a real woman because she wanted to wear feminine clothes. Any straw they can find, they grab.

A GG friend of mine once said that being a woman is full-time competition with every other woman on earth. To some extent, it is true. So for current or former lovers to say we are ugly is just a part of the competition and their own sideways gesture of including us in their world of womanhood.

Quote from: Renae Lupini on June 03, 2007, 08:41:57 PM
A GG friend of mine once said that being a woman is full-time competition with every other woman on earth. To some extent, it is true. So for current or former lovers to say we are ugly is just a part of the competition and their own sideways gesture of including us in their world of womanhood.

interesting theory

Quote from: Rachel on June 03, 2007, 08:46:07 PM

Quote from: Renae Lupini on June 03, 2007, 08:41:57 PM
A GG friend of mine once said that being a woman is full-time competition with every other woman on earth. To some extent, it is true. So for current or former lovers to say we are ugly is just a part of the competition and their own sideways gesture of including us in their world of womanhood.

interesting theory

TY, I am full of them. lol

Quote from: Renae Lupini on June 03, 2007, 09:20:01 PM

Quote from: Rachel on June 03, 2007, 08:46:07 PM

Quote from: Renae Lupini on June 03, 2007, 08:41:57 PM
A GG friend of mine once said that being a woman is full-time competition with every other woman on earth. To some extent, it is true. So for current or former lovers to say we are ugly is just a part of the competition and their own sideways gesture of including us in their world of womanhood.

interesting theory

TY, I am full of them. lol

i mean it is very possible

Thanks all.

Quote from: Bev on June 01, 2007, 07:32:11 AM
So, I would try to keep the peace, quietly, and sit tight like a caterpillar, and let yourself be amazed.

I love the analogy.  It does not fit me but I still love the analogy.

.....................

Quote from: Lori on June 01, 2007, 04:26:46 PM
My wife said the same thing, that I will never pass as a woman without FFS. I think its the standard reaction. First their femininity gets threatened, then stomped on, then you look better than them? I don't know..this is all pretty wild. I'm just starting to grasp things myself.

Not all women wear pantyhose btw...and some absolutely hate it.

Never will I look better than my wife.  She is 34DD-26-34, blond hair and blue eyes.   I have big blue eyes but my boobs are only B/C.  My wife really has nice boobs.

..................
I have an embarrassing topic to discuss.  I wore an Anne Marie waist cincher under my shirt to bed last night.  I get a rash if I wear the cincher for 24 hours a day so that I thought I could wear it at night and get some benefit.  How do you hide wearing the cincher from your SO at night?  Have you had any benefit from cinchers?

W

There are shaping corsets (not cheap) that can shape your lower ribs over time.
In most extreme form, it leads to 18 inch waits (but, you don't need to go that far to slightly
change the shape of your ribs, but you have to wear the corset almost all the time 16h at least for a year for that to happen.

Quote from: Keira on June 04, 2007, 03:00:07 PM
There are shaping corsets (not cheap) that can shape your lower ribs over time.
In most extreme form, it leads to 18 inch waits (but, you don't need to go that far to slightly
change the shape of your ribs, but you have to wear the corset almost all the time 16h at least for a year for that to happen.

I've actually done a bunch of learning about this in the past few weeks (since esprit).  I ordered a custom one (and a very informative book on the subject) while I was up there and have been doing much learning about this.  No, it wasn't cheap (like $400), but I had been considering doing it for some time.  Unfortuantely, it takes a few months to have the corset made due to the backlog of orders with the good corset makers, so my reports on that will have to wait until then.

I highly doubt most TS would be able to acheive an 18 inch waist due to the fact that we normally larger rib cages than GGs.  So, it all depends on your starting ribcage and frame size as to what is achievable.  Waist cinchers just won't cut it because the corset needs to be made out of a stiff material and tightened over time.  Length of wear is far more important than how much it is initially cinched down.

Additionally, wide belts made out of a thick strong leather can be used to reduce the waist.  Just remember that the female waist is about 1 inch above the belly button.  I have been using the belt method (I borrowed one from Rashelle) while waiting for my corset since I got back from esprit on May 20th.  So far the longest I've worn it was 13 hours straight tightened moderately, although I plan on breaking that record today (7 hours down so far) and then tighten it another inch tomorrow. I've lost about 3 inches off my waist measured WITHOUT the belt on(35 3/4 down to 33).  I am also dieting at the same time--actually, conveniently, I had increase my ADD meds at the beginning of May and that resulted in a huge appetite reduction--and so far I've lost about 7 pounds from just May 20th as of this morning.  I just realized that's only been like 2 weeks!   For the most part, I just make sure that my stomach gets fed if it starts growling or I feel a little weak, but just enough food to keep it happy.  That way, my body doesn't start storing fat.  I may be losing muscle, but that perfectly fine with me.  There's a couple of places I could stand to lose a bit more.

Sorry for going off on a tangent, but I would not suggest a waist cincher if it's one of those elastic ones, since that won't squeeze in the areas that need to be squeezed, such as your side muscles.  Also, make sure to give yourself a break once a week for an entire day, so it doesn't seem non-stop.  You can find a bunch more info online, but just be careful since some of it is inaccurate or poor advice.  My recommendation is to get your answers from an expert.

P.S. I had a nice picture of me taken wearing one of the corsets that happened to be fairly close to my measurements and when (and if) I get that, I'll put it up somewhere.

P.P.S. If you hate wearing pantyhose because they feel binding, you may not like waist training with a corset.  If you like wearing them, then you'll probably LOVE wearing one.

I want to get a corset myself, found a real pretty and high quality one online, so when i get the money I will be doing that myself.  Restrictions like that don't bother me at all, I can work with restrictions, and if it means my waist is even smaller (not that it isn't small already) that is just awesome.  The only thing that would worry me is that if i do wear it most of the day, can I hide it under my clothing without arousing too much suspicion, because I'm not out at work.  I don't want them to find out before I want them to, but I do want to wear the corset.....the choices.