So I work with this woman who is seriously one of the nicest people I've ever met.

One problem....she's nuts.

Somehow Obama came up in conversation and she started spewing every right wing extremist talking point in the book. Telling me my rights are being taken away, the election was fixed, the government wants to disarm us, gay is a choice, god this god that blah blah blah.

Right now i'm freaking out about when I go full time and being stuck in a small space with this woman. She's such a nice person but i'm afraid once I come out the judgement will begin.

Does anyone else have any experience with dealing with these types of people once full time in the workplace?

*Raises hand*
Crazy religious extremist here. We generally aren't nuts, by the way - we just hold different values.

I have a family full of them.

There is rarely any reasoning with them. Their opinions are biblicaly sound, especially the ones that have no biblical source.

Quote from: ZoeM on January 18, 2013, 10:49:34 AM
*Raises hand*
Crazy religious extremist here. We generally aren't nuts, by the way - we just hold different values.

Ya, that's not what I asked. This isn't a discussion of values, don't try to bait me.

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 10:43:39 AM
Does anyone else have any experience with dealing with these types of people once full time in the workplace?

Keep your enemies closer?

I don't have exactly direct experience, though there are probably people like this in my neighborhood. I'm thinking, though, that one strategy would be to get to know her very, very well, as much as you could with integrity and as much as you are willing to stretch yourself, so that when you do come out, maybe, even if she does feel compelled to cut you off impulsively, some part of her is going to have to deal with the reality check instead of the bigoted stereotyping and generalizations, and usually, for anyone truly decent, reality has a way of winning out.

My dad was a rabid Republican and NRA member when I was younger. Today he is very, very different, because he has a brain and a conscience.  He has even apologized for some of the ridiculous stuff he imposed on us as a part of the religion he was attached to at the time. Granted, he was always a critical thinker, so the change came because he started to challenge some of those assumptions. And even when his only interest was in whether I was gay, the concern was more about my well-being and his own curiousity about how gay guys could do the things he assumed they did (many of which are things that only some gay guys themselves are into).

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 10:43:39 AM
Does anyone else have any experience with dealing with these types of people once full time in the workplace?

I've come across a lot of people like this. Many are actually decent people, but people who've never gotten used to questioning what they hear. They hear their clergyman or a radio talk show host spouting lies and it doesn't occur to them to think about it.

When I meet folk like this, I don't assume they're going to reject me. I leave that decision up to them. I try to see the good in them. It isn't their fault they're easily swayed.

I've found it doesn't help to confront them with facts. The radio hosts they listen to have already covered that base, warning them that the world is biased against them, etc. Better just to steer the discussion away.

Have a word with human resources or your union they may be able to help

Quote from: agfrommd on January 18, 2013, 10:58:07 AM
I've come across a lot of people like this. Many are actually decent people, but people who've never gotten used to questioning what they hear. They hear their clergyman or a radio talk show host spouting lies and it doesn't occur to them to think about it.

When I meet folk like this, I don't assume they're going to reject me. I leave that decision up to them. I try to see the good in them. It isn't their fault they're easily swayed.

I've found it doesn't help to confront them with facts. The radio hosts they listen to have already covered that base, warning them that the world is biased against them, etc. Better just to steer the discussion away.

I've worked with this woman for almost three years now and never knew she had these views till recently because honestly politics never came up in conversation with her. I knew she was religious but religion doesn't signify someone holds all these far right views.

Like I said she's always been so nice to me, I guess i'm just hoping that doesn't change and that her good nature overrides any prejudice she may feel towards me being trans.

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 10:43:39 AM
So I work with this woman who is seriously one of the nicest people I've ever met.

One problem....she's nuts.

Somehow Obama came up in conversation and she started spewing every right wing extremist talking point in the book. Telling me my rights are being taken away, the election was fixed, the government wants to disarm us, gay is a choice, god this god that blah blah blah.

Right now i'm freaking out about when I go full time and being stuck in a small space with this woman. She's such a nice person but i'm afraid once I come out the judgement will begin.

Does anyone else have any experience with dealing with these types of people once full time in the workplace?

So you disagree with someone you work with?  Big deal.  Just tell her you disagree with her and that you don't want to discuss those topics.  If she continues, then pursue HR.

"These types of people" - do you realize you just did what we accuse them of doing?  Of segregating us because we are different?  Are you really that scared of someone who disagrees with you that you're freaking out about it?

Having a conservative viewpoint doesn't make someone nuts; it means they disagree with what you say.   

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 10:53:26 AM
Ya, that's not what I asked. This isn't a discussion of values, don't try to bait me.

That's not what I meant, either.
I suppose I should rephrase: it doesn't help, if you disagree with someone's actions or beliefs, to call them nuts and try to "deal" with them as though they're an obstacle in your path. Objectively speaking, you both have strongly held convictions, and the only good way to come to an amicable conclusion is to be just as willing to understand where she's coming from as you want her to be to you. I can't promise she'll do the same, but if neither of you tries, nothing has even a chance of happening.

I must apologize, though; I took personal offense at the labels you applied to broad-sense conservatives/Christians, and was thus more annoyed than I should have been. My type tends to be the brunt of jokes and rants even at my local support group, who know my stances on many issues, and my skin is a bit thin there. My apologies.

As she had not said anything up until now, she may very well just not say anything again.

You can try reasoning with them about how she unlikely follows the bible to the letter (unless she doesn't eat pork, seafood, wear mixed fabric, ever have a round hair cut or associate with men while she is on her period).

Again, though, there is rarely reasoning with people who are irrational.

Good luck x

Quote from: ZoeM on January 18, 2013, 11:22:10 AM
willing to understand where she's coming from as you want her to be to you.

I think MaidofOrleans understands already where she is coming from and that is what concerns her! :-)

Quote from: Incarnadine on January 18, 2013, 11:09:36 AM
So you disagree with someone you work with?  Big deal.  Just tell her you disagree with her and that you don't want to discuss those topics.  If she continues, then pursue HR.

"These types of people" - do you realize you just did what we accuse them of doing?  Of segregating us because we are different?  Are you really that scared of someone who disagrees with you that you're freaking out about it?

Having a conservative viewpoint doesn't make someone nuts; it means they disagree with what you say.   

It's not that her viewpoints are different, it's that they are in my mind dumbfounded to downright crazy.

Obama is a fascist communist socialist - crazy

The election was fixed - crazy

Life was better in the days of the founders - crazy

Gay is a choice and they must be saved or they will burn - crazy

I could go on but hopefully you see my point and why a rational person such as myself would be frightened that someone actually believes these things to be true.

Not to mention someone I spend a large portion of my day next to...

As a conservative Christian that does not agree with transgender views I personally find your coworker's attitude repulsive.

In the workplace we are paid to do a job.

Should the door open as to what we believe we are commanded by the scriptures to answer in truth according to the doctrine handed down from the apostles and prophets unto the original church.

The word of God says be ready to give an answer to anyone of the hope within us. Not lecture or humiliate or infuriate.

Some Christians have taken the scriptures about going into all the world and used it to justify a slothful work ethic and a cloak for their own desire to have everone live according to their views of Christianity. What they accomplish is doing more harm than good.

It shouldn't matter if your co-worker is gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, single, married, partnered or of a different faith altogether.
It's a job.
If they ask fine.
If they don't fine.

These Christians make the rest who truly love the souls of others look bad.

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 10:43:39 AM

Does anyone else have any experience with dealing with these types of people once full time in the workplace?

My first job full time I worked with a born again woman. I was invited to their church meetings, parties, recruiting festivals, whatever you call it, but I never went.  I was nouveau full time so I would say it was pretty easy to clock me and I'm pretty sure she had sized me up pretty quickly as a trans woman.

That being said we became shopping buddies we worked almost walking distance to a shopping mall and we became good friends being bargain hunters together. I have met various Christian people over the years and the responses have varied from "okay thanks for telling me" to "that's disgusting" so I guess it really gets down to the nuttiness factor.

I've had coworkers like that, no big deal, just didn't discuss it with them, they know I am agnostic and things were fine. So long as they treat me with respect in the workplace, I don't give a rat's behind what they think otherwise.

Del you said:

QuoteAs a conservative Christian that does not agree with transgender views

What views are you not in agreement with?

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 10:43:39 AM
So I work with this woman who is seriously one of the nicest people I've ever met.

One problem....she's nuts.

Somehow Obama came up in conversation and she started spewing every right wing extremist talking point in the book. Telling me my rights are being taken away, the election was fixed, the government wants to disarm us, gay is a choice, god this god that blah blah blah.

Right now i'm freaking out about when I go full time and being stuck in a small space with this woman. She's such a nice person but i'm afraid once I come out the judgement will begin.

Does anyone else have any experience with dealing with these types of people once full time in the workplace?

Most of my family are fundamentalist Christians, and while i don't work with them I am just now starting to show them who I really am with logic and love. Maybe you can start slipping your co worker some things to read, that she can wrap her head around. It doesnt always work i am finding but hey, I was a fundie just 9 months ago.

Until she does something that is hateful or hurtful towards you, or someone else, you will just have to endure it.

Just one more thing just because people have opposite points of view on politics or morals or culture doesn't mean they don't have anything in common. Find what you have in common. Maybe she's a cat lady for example so foster a mutual interest in cats. People even those who hold extreme points of view (be it left or right) will have a hard time rejecting someone they have invested a friendship in.

My own personal experience with religious people is actually pretty positive to be honest. It all comes down to confidence. I am as confident in my opinion that transsexual people exist and are just a normal variation of humanity as a religious person would be to say its s choice and a sin.

I find most people don't bring religion to the workplace for the obvious reason that their own religion could in fact be a minority and most companies don't want hassles or lawsuits.

The only issues which might be a sticking points are the good old bathroom issues. If you want to really prove a point then do this: make yourself so invaluable to your job that if you think this coworker is going to threaten your ability to work then you will have the power to point out all the things she is going to have to do once you are gone. She herself might not like the position she is finding herself in under those circumstances (working more hours, doing extra tasks, etc)

I always find it more than disconcerting at how some so-called Christians take on such a non Christ-like mantel and hypocritically enter into bashing the GLBTI community, because it only serves to give Christ a black eye in the view of those so victimized and frankly I doubt the validity of their claim to be called Christians. On the other hand I am disgusted and equally repulsed at the piling on, feeding frenzy and anti-Christian rhetoric of non believers within the GLBTI community, who would expect to be accepted by all, preferring to consider themselves unbiased and accepting while serving up a load of hypocritical crap!