Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 11:39:23 AM
I could go on but hopefully you see my point and why a rational person such as myself would be frightened that someone actually believes these things to be true.

One woman's rationale is another woman's blindfold. 

It is this kind of superior posturing that creates interpersonal problems: "I cannot see how she came to her conclusions, therefore she must be crazy."  Instead, our attitude should be "I cannot see how she came to her conclusions, therefore we either need to create dialogue or agree to work together in silent unity."

And if you think about it, it took her three years to become comfortable enough with you to be able to share her opinions with you.  There must be some trust there, right?

My advice would be to ignore her. If she crosses a line with you, then report her to human resources.

One of the problems with trying to show people how things really are, is that we get so emotional we end up attacking each other and i am sure you all are aware of the bloody history we have fighting over who is right and wrong. Again all i can say is to use logic and love as your weapon. Its not her that is your enemy, but instead principalities.

I'm pretty sure that you are going to set her on edge a lot more than she would ever set you on edge. On the other hand, she may just make it her life's mission to save you. Just live your life the same as she does. Make your opinions known and don't let anybody change your mind. People bang their heads enough, eventually they get the hint.

Quote from: Del on January 18, 2013, 11:43:39 AM
As a conservative Christian that does not agree with transgender views

You know this is a transgender support site right?

Quote from: Incarnadine on January 18, 2013, 12:17:00 PM
One woman's rationale is another woman's blindfold. 

It is this kind of superior posturing that creates interpersonal problems: "I cannot see how she came to her conclusions, therefore she must be crazy."  Instead, our attitude should be "I cannot see how she came to her conclusions, therefore we either need to create dialogue or agree to work together in silent unity."

And if you think about it, it took her three years to become comfortable enough with you to be able to share her opinions with you.  There must be some trust there, right?

No politics just never came up in conversation.

If your going to quote another members post, be sure you include the entire sentence.


Del:  As a conservative Christian that does not agree with transgender views I personally find your coworker's attitude repulsive.

That changes the entire meaning of the sentence.

Quote from: Sarah Louise on January 18, 2013, 01:59:40 PM
If your going to quote another members post, be sure you include the entire sentence.


Del:  As a conservative Christian that does not agree with transgender views I personally find your coworker's attitude repulsive.

That changes the entire meaning of the sentence.

So does proper punctuation...

.

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 10:43:39 AM
So I work with this woman who is seriously one of the nicest people I've ever met.

One problem....she's nuts.

Somehow Obama came up in conversation and she started spewing every right wing extremist talking point in the book. Telling me my rights are being taken away, the election was fixed, the government wants to disarm us, gay is a choice, god this god that blah blah blah.

Right now i'm freaking out about when I go full time and being stuck in a small space with this woman. She's such a nice person but i'm afraid once I come out the judgement will begin.

Does anyone else have any experience with dealing with these types of people once full time in the workplace?

It seems to me that there are a number of issues you have with your co-worker, and they are all being lumped into one big basket of "religious" and "rightwing."  My suggestion would be that you tell her that you do not agree with her views and could she refrain from discussing them in the workplace.  If she continues to create a hostile work environment, then discuss it with your supervisor.

Just as a note, there are quite a few "leftwing" people who are equally worried about the erosion of liberties these days.

Quote from: muuu on January 18, 2013, 04:01:42 PM
Lets not be like that... Even if you disagree with somebody, you can support them out of respect. Del has their own reasons to be here, maybe dealing with somebody who is TG or just trying to educate themselves.

I think if your co-worker hasn't spoken out of her believes before, she's probably quiet about those things in general. I don't think she'd make a big deal out of it, maybe in her own head, but I probably keep it there.

She's brings up her religion a lot but I have always ignored it for simple fact of not wanting to start conflict. When the president came up I questioned her fear of him and that's when she exploded into a rant making all sorts of crazy claims common of conspiracy theorists.

I don't like extremists of any kind.

I work with a women who is exactly this way. When I told her about my transitioning at work she listened. She told me that she does not agree with what I am doing but that is my choice. When I started presenting at work she made it clear to use my male name and male pronouns to me and customers. The only thing I can say is to talk to your HR about how to handle this situation(I had to do this for about 3 people).

Quote from: Claire25 on January 18, 2013, 04:21:37 PM
I work with a women who is exactly this way. When I told her about my transitioning at work she listened. She told me that she does not agree with what I am doing but that is my choice. When I started presenting at work she made it clear to use my male name and male pronouns to me and customers. The only thing I can say is to talk to your HR about how to handle this situation(I had to do this for about 3 people).

My biggest fear is that she will be like that or not talk to me at all. Like I said I like her as a person, I'm just afraid she will be different based on her beliefs once I come out.

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 04:38:41 PM
My biggest fear is that she will be like that or not talk to me at all. Like I said I like her as a person, I'm just afraid she will be different based on her beliefs once I come out.

It's possible that the only reason she launched into a big rant in front of you was because she assumed you wouldn't be offended by any of her statements. If she knew you were trans, she still might not approve, but she might also have the grace to remain polite to you. After all, you've said she's a nice person.

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 04:38:41 PM
My biggest fear is that she will be like that or not talk to me at all. Like I said I like her as a person, I'm just afraid she will be different based on her beliefs once I come out.

Might be a good time to quote Dale Carnegie about how 90% of the things that worry us never come to pass.

My eldest son married a right wing fundamentalist Christian who came from a family of the same. He speaks to me but has already told me he will never use proper pronouns with me and that he believes I am "mentally unbalanced" for coming out about my trans condition.

My experience with "fundies" has been uniformly ugly and these were all people who said they admired me before, the work I did as a youth sports coach, the way I encouraged children to use their gifts, etc. And now I am a monster, to be shunned and, if possible, shamed.

Conservative Christians, as a group, do not get any sympathy from me any more as they give none, claiming persecution where none exists. If they want to really understand persecution, walk in a trans person's shoes for a while!

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 10:43:39 AM
So I work with this woman who is seriously one of the nicest people I've ever met.

One problem....she's nuts.

Somehow Obama came up in conversation and she started spewing every right wing extremist talking point in the book. Telling me my rights are being taken away, the election was fixed, the government wants to disarm us, gay is a choice, god this god that blah blah blah.

Right now i'm freaking out about when I go full time and being stuck in a small space with this woman. She's such a nice person but i'm afraid once I come out the judgement will begin.

Does anyone else have any experience with dealing with these types of people once full time in the workplace?

personally I lost a friend this way. I really like her as a friend and she knows i'm trans, but politically I just got too angry on her view which wasn't really trans suporting.
I agree with her saying that we as people cant agree 100% on each other on everything but I guess somethings just hits your harder than other, something your a part of yourself or you know famely or people close to you who are, for me many transfolks are also like a famely to me so its hits very hard with non-suporters I have known for so long.
---
I think its best to come out to her, She might not be suportive, But fact is friends are not for hidding who you are, they are to accept and respect you for the person you are,
neither are they for putting you down, there for raising you up. if people cant really do those thing I wont call them real friends.

now I really dont understand the whole religion thing vs GLBT.
maybe try to make her gives aguments for why its wrong to be trans or gay, this will also give you a chance to tell her why you dont belive so and be critical.

ex she say gay is a choise, you can ask her why anyone would choose to be a minority, or even risk lives in certain parts of the world.
also if she say its stands in the bible you can ask where exactly it stands, and why this citat is more important than to overlook the citat that we shall love each other and not hate? you can also pick out other citats from the bible see if she agree, theres alot of f* up stuff im sure neither of you follow .

sorry if it sound too easy on text, But I just dont think it will change if you dont try yourself to take the first step, and I think if you really like her it might be worth a try to change her view abit to a way who accept you and your people near.

if now then its her lose.

generally try being the mature one and play fair.

it not because of her religion so dont put the big focus on that, it's because she got view who seams to could you or people you like down. so its yourself (and others) your to defend and feel offended about.
thats understandable and just let her know that this is personal harmfull.

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 04:38:41 PM
My biggest fear is that she will be like that or not talk to me at all. Like I said I like her as a person, I'm just afraid she will be different based on her beliefs once I come out.

My closest friend and I never talk about 2 things.  Religion and politics.  We are polar opposites.  Her being a staunch Catholic and me an atheist.  Her political views are also exactly opposite of mine.  Therefore we've made it a unspoken rule never to discuss them as it always starts arguments, and we have so many other things to talk about.

While we aren't co workers now, we used to be.

Quote from: Natkat on January 18, 2013, 05:01:50 PMsorry if it sound too easy on text, But I just dont think it will change if you dont try yourself to take the first step, and I think if you really like her it might be worth a try to change her view abit to a way who accept you and your people near.

Attempting to change the views of an extremist almost never works. Their beliefs are just too heavily tied up in their identity, so trying to change them will only make your opponent defend their beliefs even more staunchly. I'm afraid this lady sounds like a lost cause on the change-her-views front... but I do think that if she's as nice as MaidofOrleans says she is, then a change of beliefs won't be necessary for her to remain civil.