So overall I'm pretty happy with my life, happier than I've ever been in fact, but gawd I hate having to bind, and I hate my chest in general with a burning passion xD The day I get top surgery will be the happiest day of my life - sorry kiddo but that includes having you, and sorry future hubby but that will also include getting married! That will truly be the day the rest of my life begins.
My back hurts, my shoulders hurt, my ribs hurt, and I'm frequently getting really scary chest pains lately.
I have a chest infection at the moment, AGAIN, I get them all the time and I'm convinced that binding is the reason. I've been rushed to hospital on several occasions because I'm unable to breath and my asthma inhalers don't work. This never happened before I started binding.
I find it impossible to effectively and consistently exercise because my lungs are just crap now, I was quite fit at one point and I've gained like 5 stone since I started binding all the time. Even walking from college to the bus station (15 minute walk) feels like torture, and I often have to undo the velcro on my binder when I get on the bus because I feel like I'm going to pass out. I can't breath, everything hurts and I'm disgustingly sweaty.
Even when I try and work out without a binder my lungs give out way before my muscles do; and seeing/feeling them bouncing around while I try to do aerobics or go for a run makes me feel physically sick with dysphoria. The best I've managed lately is around 6 months of jogging/walking at least 5k a day, every single day, I really pushed myself hoping increased fitness would ease the breathing problems. I did not see any improvement in my lung capacity - in actual fact it got worse, so did the pain in my back. (I slipped a disk around two years ago) I had to stop because I was in so much pain and I've never found the motivation to start up again. At the minute the only exercise I get is walking between bus stations to and from college, the occasional walk to the next town with classmates on lunch breaks (which I try to avoid) and the 15 minute walk each day between my house and my daughters nursery....and even that, feels like it's killing me.
My health is suffering hugely because of these horrible things on my chest and I don't know what to do about it....other than just wait until surgery; and god knows when that will be, at least a couple more years.
And I swear to god, the next person to tell me they would "kill for my boobs" or some other expression of jealousy about my giant mammaries is going to get a slap upside the head. If I could take them off and throw them at them, I would.
Ah it feels good to get that off my chest