Quote from: Annah on January 18, 2013, 12:19:36 PM
My advice would be to ignore her. If she crosses a line with you, then report her to human resources.

I would establish boundaries first. This can range from a polite, "Your comments are making me uncomfortable", all the way to a stern, "I don't give two cents what your gawd might think about me...you and him can rot in hell together."

If setting boundaries don't work...go to HR. If HR doesn't give satisfaction, sue the company for discrimination and creating a hostile work environment.

The woman who zapped my beard off: A religious conservative who supported me so much I gave her a hug after my last session.

My mother, who's been able to call me Paige a couple of times now (In just about 2 weeks from coming out) gave me motherly advise of "Get your eyebrows fixed!" earlier this week, also adores Glenn Beck and supported Rick Santorum during the last election.  Also a long time Evangelical, though I'm not 100% sure where she is now.

My father, an atheist liberal, won't talk to me since I came out.

People are very complex.  I say give this person a chance, she may well surprise you in a wonderful way.  Maybe it'll even teach her to pause and think before she speaks.  Maybe not, but I've become an optimist!

Quote from: Misato33 on January 18, 2013, 09:03:42 PM
The woman who zapped my beard off: A religious conservative who supported me so much I gave her a hug after my last session.

My mother, who's been able to call me Paige a couple of times now (In just about 2 weeks from coming out) gave me motherly advise of "Get your eyebrows fixed!" earlier this week, also adores Glenn Beck and supported Rick Santorum during the last election.  Also a long time Evangelical, though I'm not 100% sure where she is now.

My father, an atheist liberal, won't talk to me since I came out.

People are very complex.  I say give this person a chance, she may well surprise you in a wonderful way.  Maybe it'll even teach her to pause and think before she speaks.  Maybe not, but I've become an optimist!

I'm liking the optimism!

Like I said, I hope her good nature is an overriding factor in how she feels towards me.

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 18, 2013, 10:43:39 AM
So I work with this woman who is seriously one of the nicest people I've ever met.

One problem....she's nuts.

Somehow Obama came up in conversation and she started spewing every right wing extremist talking point in the book. Telling me my rights are being taken away, the election was fixed, the government wants to disarm us, gay is a choice, god this god that blah blah blah.

Right now i'm freaking out about when I go full time and being stuck in a small space with this woman. She's such a nice person but i'm afraid once I come out the judgement will begin.

Does anyone else have any experience with dealing with these types of people once full time in the workplace?

Kia Ora MoO,

All I can say is...Don't let the 'unknown' play tricks with your mind !

Metta Zenda

Quote from: Misato33 on January 18, 2013, 09:03:42 PM
People are very complex.  I say give this person a chance, she may well surprise you in a wonderful way.  Maybe it'll even teach her to pause and think before she speaks.  Maybe not, but I've become an optimist!

I agree with everything Misato says. My own experience is that acceptance or non-acceptance can be found in the strangest quarters. I can tell you there are some very liberal people who will have issues with trans people and people who you might think are sure that the UN is going to invade the US and enslave everyone who are going to be totally okay with a gender transition, so don't jump to any conclusions. We all know from recent threads and news articles that feminists and lesbians who I would probably never call conservatives have big problems with trans people and these are supposed to be mega super liberals. So I would never judge a book by it's cover.

Look at Del for a moment. He may not support trans people but he has never said a bad thing to anyone on here. In fact I think a lot of his points of view are downright tolerant. We may differ completely on religion and the meaning of life, but I don't think you will find a lot of people who would agree on alot of things anyways. I don't even know him at all, but if I were invited to a backyard barbeque I would go

Quote from: Shantel on January 18, 2013, 12:14:33 PM
On the other hand I am disgusted and equally repulsed at the piling on, feeding frenzy and anti-Christian rhetoric of non believers within the GLBTI community, who would expect to be accepted by all, preferring to consider themselves unbiased and accepting while serving up a load of hypocritical crap!

Well, I don't think that people have a problem with Christianity so much as the specific individuals who force it upon others and try to interfere with democratic governmental processes. I for one am not biased. I identify as female, but disagree with a lot of what American feminists say.

If being mad at the people who victimize your demographic is wrong, then African slaves, Latin American colonists, and others who were raped, beaten, and murdered for no other reason than baseless discrimination didn't have a leg to stand on. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________

As for what I think, I prefer to have faith in people. Don't take any preventative action or engage in any conflict until this lady proves that she can't be accepting. After all, my dad is Catholic, and he accepts me, despite disagreeing.

If she proves to be a problem, take it up with your boss or a lawyer, as necessary.

Remember that people should be viewed in a positive light until they prove that they don't deserve to be.

Kia Ora,

Now I'm not trying to be sarcastic, nor attacking Del's beliefs in any way, but Del are you here for some kind of  'penance' [I think that's the right word] which involves the practice of tolerance and acceptance of difference or are you here to try and save [what you feel are] a few lost souls ? Or perhaps are you just here to find out how trans-people tick...

I should point out, I think it's good that you are here and no doubt, for people like myself, I can also learn a lot about  what it is that makes you tick...

So I for one am thankful for your input...

PS: My apologies  MoO, for going slightly off track....

Metta Zenda

Quote from: AlexD on January 18, 2013, 05:14:42 PM
Attempting to change the views of an extremist almost never works. Their beliefs are just too heavily tied up in their identity, so trying to change them will only make your opponent defend their beliefs even more staunchly. I'm afraid this lady sounds like a lost cause on the change-her-views front... but I do think that if she's as nice as MaidofOrleans says she is, then a change of beliefs won't be necessary for her to remain civil.

Do you mean belifs as in religion? for me that isnt important, People can have whatever religion they have, christian, muslim, budism, and still be friendly of each other including GLBT folks.

I often hear people who say things I feel offensive for me, I know the only way I can try to change there view is to be critizism about it, asking them why they think so and why I think otherwise to let them think twice to be sure if thats what they really deeply mean or what they just say cause they never thought about it as well I would try to understand why they feel as they do.
this might not help but its the only thing you can do exept to just give up which I also somethimes do, But if you care enough about people then I wont just give up without a try, neither will lying or hidding hold on forever.

Quote from: Natkat on January 19, 2013, 07:51:12 AM

I often hear people who say things I feel offensive for me, I know the only way I can try to change there view is to be critizism about it, asking them why they think so and why I think otherwise to let them think twice to be sure if thats what they really deeply mean or what they just say cause they never thought about it as well I would try to understand why they feel as they do.

I agree. There is a difference between beliefs and ignorance.

For example, if someone understands that transgender people don't have a choice to be the way we are but still believes that dressing as our true gender is wrong, I'm never going to change that belief.

OTOH if someone mistakenly understands that we choose to be transgender or that it can be "cured", it may be possible to educate that person.

It's clear a lot of you have strong feelings on the subject both ways, if I offended anyone i'm sorry you feel that way, but I wont retract anything I said because I stand by it. I'm not saying all Christians or all conservatives are crazy, i'm saying her particular Christian and conservative views are crazy.

The country is very divided right now. People take any attack on a person with similar beliefs as an attack on themselves. It's obvious that even within our little trans community there is serious division over social and economic issues. The kinds of blatant lies and illogical conspiracy theories some people buy into is frightening and so are people that in the 21st century still believe iron age myths to be actual fact. I'm a fairly middle of the road person and I try to take a logical and reasonable stance on everything, I don't like extremists and I think their views on both sides of the political spectrum are dangerous, right or left.

Standing up for trans equality does not mean i'm a hypocrite for standing against insanity. I do not believe transgender people are a danger to society and people. I do believe that much of the hateful and downright crazy rhetoric from the religious and political extremists around the world is incredibly dangerous. Denying their ability to spread their lies and educating the public against them is a lifetime goal of mine. If I can save one person from suffering persecution and hatred then I've done my job. Call it un-american or un-constitutional I don't care, I don't stand up for the rights of others to spread such vitriol that has caused people like me to suffer for so long.

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on January 19, 2013, 12:24:22 PM
It's clear a lot of you have strong feelings on the subject both ways, if I offended anyone i'm sorry you feel that way, but I wont retract anything I said because I stand by it. I'm not saying all Christians or all conservatives are crazy, i'm saying her particular Christian and conservative views are crazy.

I don't think you offended anyone hon, I'm sure that you have a good point about that woman being way over the top with her comments and attitudes. I prefer it when we (meaning all of us) are careful not to paint people with a broad brush, because there are some really nice folks in every group regardless of whether or not we agree with their belief system. It will be interesting to see how it all pans out in your workplace as time goes by. Be sure and give an update!

Shantel, I think we know that. Look at Annah or Shawn. Two transgender Christians. 

*raises hand* 

Quote from: Natkat on January 19, 2013, 07:51:12 AM
Do you mean belifs as in religion? for me that isnt important, People can have whatever religion they have, christian, muslim, budism, and still be friendly of each other including GLBT folks.

I often hear people who say things I feel offensive for me, I know the only way I can try to change there view is to be critizism about it, asking them why they think so and why I think otherwise to let them think twice to be sure if thats what they really deeply mean or what they just say cause they never thought about it as well I would try to understand why they feel as they do.
this might not help but its the only thing you can do exept to just give up which I also somethimes do, But if you care enough about people then I wont just give up without a try, neither will lying or hidding hold on forever.

Hmm. That's a good question.

I was referring to any strong belief a person might hold, regardless of how religious it is or even how true or real it is. Religion (and atheism!) and politics lend themselves particularly well to this kind of thinking, since it involves a group of people who all believe in the same thing that can't be definitively proven, and I think it's very easy to build an identity around that, but it applies to any strong belief -- even our beliefs about transpeople. Once a belief gets tied up in your identity it makes it very difficult to want to listen when other people try to encourage you to entertain alternative ways of looking at things. In my experience, trying to argue with people like this is just not worth the effort -- the more you argue with them, the more strongly they cling to their own beliefs.

I suppose I shouldn't have implied that it's wrong to try and change someone's beliefs if you truly think they're wrong or damaging; the trouble is, they're thinking the same thing about you, and probably aren't likely to give up on you any more than you are on them. It just leads to an exhausting argument with no end.

I had a evangelical co-worker like that.  He told me his pastor could get that demon out of me.... I  declined.  After the first few weeks it was no big deal and things got back to normal....

From what I've seen... they won't judge you to your face. You know what that means....

Quote from: Ms.Behavin on January 19, 2013, 05:59:36 PM
I had a evangelical co-worker like that.  He told me his pastor could get that demon out of me... I  declined.  After the first few weeks it was no big deal and things got back to normal....

Kia Ora Ms B,

'Possession' is nine-tenths of the law 

Metta Zenda

Quote from: DianaP on January 19, 2013, 01:02:00 PM
Shantel, I think we know that. Look at Annah or Shawn. Two transgender Christians. 

I'm also born christian so 3. 

Quote from: AlexD on January 19, 2013, 03:05:40 PM

I suppose I shouldn't have implied that it's wrong to try and change someone's beliefs if you truly think they're wrong or damaging; the trouble is, they're thinking the same thing about you, and probably aren't likely to give up on you any more than you are on them. It just leads to an exhausting argument with no end.

Yes, unfortunately we are living in an extremely polarized society where people are unable to think outside of their own box that they have created in their own minds and are constrained by their refusal to consider that there even might be a bigger picture outside of their narrow views.