I want to lose weight but my gf won't help....

See I want to join the military but I have to lose weight and the entire household that I live in is against eating healthy with me....so what do I do? I don't understand why they are against eating healthy.

Her mom has diabetes and other serious health problems, and also have kidney failure. My gfs little brother eats like no tomorrow and has put on 100 lbs in a little over a year. My gf weighs over 275, and eats fried food a lot. I can't eat anything fried because of my pcos and the fact that I am trying to lose weight.

What the heck do I do?

Oh and if I go to the gym without her she said its like I'm not trying to spend any time with her so it hurts our relationship....so basically I can only go to the gym when she is either out with her friends or at work

You buy your own food and prepare it seperately from the others there.

Maybe they should eat a better diet, but that is their decision.

Set things up so you can lose weight without them? I know that can be difficult, by observation. Some suggestions that come to mind are getting your own mini-fridge and space (even in your own room) to store your own healthy stuff. Also, consider finding a work-out to do at home.

My family's like that.  I've lost about 80 lbs in the past year and they still mock me and roll their eyes at me for sticking to my diet...  Our cabinets are always stuffed with poptarts, cookies, granola bars-- all that junk.  We currently have half a pie in the fridge and a chocolate cake and two platters of chocolate cupcakes sitting on our counter. 

Every once and awhile I let myself have some of it to remind myself it's not that great.  Last night I had a sliver of the chocolate cake-- it was dry and my me feel like I had a lead weight in my stomach for hours afterwards.  Totally not worth it.  Other than that, I just try to keep a supply of my own foods.  I eat the good parts of what they're eating so I'm still "part of the family", but when they're having nothing but junk or when they mix the junk with the good stuff so badly I can't separate it out, I make my own food.  It's worked out pretty well.

And while exercise isn't NEARLY as important as diet, try to find a sport or something you like to do and join a class or a team so you can get support outside your family.  I do martial arts four nights a week (when it isn't snowed out like tonight... stupid snow).  It keeps me motivated to keep going and if my family isn't supportive, oh well-- I've got a dozen classmates who are.

Also-- watch Fat Head on Hulu (or Netflix, if you have it) and google primal and paleo.  It'll change your life.

Finally, while I'm all for everyone losing weight and getting healthy, be aware that if you have PCOS in your medical records, it's an automatic medical disqualifier from military service.   

Quote from: Devin87 on January 28, 2013, 05:52:06 PM
My family's like that.  I've lost about 80 lbs in the past year and they still mock me and roll their eyes at me for sticking to my diet...  Our cabinets are always stuffed with poptarts, cookies, granola bars-- all that junk.  We currently have half a pie in the fridge and a chocolate cake and two platters of chocolate cupcakes sitting on our counter. 

My house is like that. I try to get rid of it or at least tone it down but the person I live with is a sweet tooth so it just appears everywhere. Even in random places that don't normally store food whatsoever. It'd be funny if it weren't  infuriating trying to get rid of it.

Quote from: Frank on January 28, 2013, 05:59:21 PM
My house is like that. I try to get rid of it or at least tone it down but the person I live with is a sweet tooth so it just appears everywhere. Even in random places that don't normally store food whatsoever. It'd be funny if it weren't  infuriating trying to get rid of it.

Don't do that-- you just start fights.  Take care of yourself first.  Try to ignore it or keep an arsenal of healthy alternatives for when you start getting too tempted.  I try to keep olives, beef jerky and raw almonds.  For my sweet tooth I do frozen berries with heavy cream poured over them (especially good for when I'm fighting a craving for ice cream).  So good, filling, and does barely anything to your blood sugar.  That's the key-- keep the blood sugar low.  It gives me my own treat to help me feel satisfied so I can go back to ignoring the junk.  It pains me to see people I love stuffing themselves with that, but if you throw it out, it just causes problems.  You can't force anyone else to make healthy decisions.

Quote from: Devin87 on January 28, 2013, 06:05:12 PM
Don't do that-- you just start fights.  Take care of yourself first.  Try to ignore it or keep an arsenal of healthy alternatives for when you start getting too tempted.  I try to keep olives, beef jerky and raw almonds.  For my sweet tooth I do frozen berries with heavy cream poured over them (especially good for when I'm fighting a craving for ice cream).  So good, filling, and does barely anything to your blood sugar.  That's the key-- keep the blood sugar low.  It gives me my own treat to help me feel satisfied so I can go back to ignoring the junk.  It pains me to see people I love stuffing themselves with that, but if you throw it out, it just causes problems.  You can't force anyone else to make healthy decisions.

Oh I don't do it in front of them, but this particular person will sit in front of a screen and vegetate if someone (me) isn't making them get off their butt and do things. Since they operate on being told what to do, we don't ever squabble. Which sounds like an unhealthy relationship, I know I know.

Wow that is a great i dea....however I don't think my pcos is on my medical records....I don't think but I'll find out when I ogo get them in the morning

"And while exercise isn't NEARLY as important as diet,"

I approach that from the opposite direction. I eat fried food several times a week and love sweets, my diet is terrible. But, I walk miles every day (dogs) and literally never stop moving. I weigh 116 pounds and frequently drop lower. Burn it off, and you can eat as much as you like. Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 28, 2013, 07:01:43 PM
"And while exercise isn't NEARLY as important as diet,"

I approach that from the opposite direction. I eat fried food several times a week and love sweets, my diet is terrible. But, I walk miles every day (dogs) and literally never stop moving. I weigh 116 pounds and frequently drop lower. Burn it off, and you can eat as much as you like. Hugs, Devlyn

That REALLY depends on the person, though.  If you're naturally thin, you're most likely going to stay fairly thin no matter what you do.  People with PCOS, especially, however, tend to be extremely sensitive to insulin and in that case, what you eat becomes way more important than how much you eat or how many calories you burn.  Insulin sensitive people don't process carbs very well and even when burning a sufficient number of calories, the insulin still tells our body to pack on the fat if we're spiking our blood sugar too often by eating too much sugar and carbs.

Like others have said, you can't make your family and gf change their ways but you can try to find out the underlying reason why they don't want to change and go from there.

Your gf not wanting you to go to the gym b/c it'll hurt your relationship sounds familiar to me. I used to work out often, wanted to go into the military and then onto a federal law enforcement career, but my husband made me stop working out. Why? Because I think he was jealous since he couldn't do those jobs (he's disabled), and worried that a fit body would attract other men. I am not saying your gf is jealous, but you should be asking yourself why she's afraid you're workouts will hurt your relationship. She's probably afraid that working out will be hard for her, that if you two try together that she won't be able to keep up with you, and that soon you'll become thin and not want to date her anymore. You should try to calm her fears about this, and maybe try doing something together at least a few days a week, like maybe take a walk after dinner, etc. to make her feel included. Start out with something really easy and as she gets more fit you can try something a bit harder.

Your family may think that you eating healthy is your way of trying to be better than them, or saying that they were bad parents for not having more time to make healthy meals, etc. I don't know how your family does grocery shopping, but I'd consider trying to look up your own healthy recipes, and whenever grocery list time comes around to put down those ingredients and explain to whoever does the shopping (or offer to make the trip yourself) that those items are intended for a meal that you're going to make for everyone. And actually make a dinner for everyone that week. If you slowly incorporate healthy foods without saying "see this is really healthy" might get them to start having more of an appreciation for better quality foods, and if you do the cooking for that meal it's not like you're trying to put if off on mom or whomever.

I also second the min-fridge suggestion, I have my own and it's great, no one can eat my greek yogurt now!  And, they're not too expensive either.

Quote from: Devin87 on January 28, 2013, 07:18:34 PM
That REALLY depends on the person, though.  If you're naturally thin, you're most likely going to stay fairly thin no matter what you do.  People with PCOS, especially, however, tend to be extremely sensitive to insulin and in that case, what you eat becomes way more important than how much you eat or how many calories you burn.  Insulin sensitive people don't process carbs very well and even when burning a sufficient number of calories, the insulin still tells our body to pack on the fat if we're spiking our blood sugar too often by eating too much sugar and carbs.

Thanks for the education! I learned something today. For me, it's always been simple math, eat more, weigh more. Eat less, weigh less. I guess I should count my blessings. Hugs, Devlyn