I live here in small town Kona Hawaii. I can`t do anything without an airplane. I talk to a therepist in Chicogo and we plan to move in with grandma for finacial help. ( not her money, our cost of living would only be 1500 month including all her bills and morgage) Carla my wife - girlfriend- soon to be best friend, 5 y/o daughter Elaina and I are all really sad about leaving. I will use the time wile I`m on the mainland for vetrinary school. Carrier change is an extreemly important to me as well. ( So is learning how to spell) (Now I do handyman work and boat repair.)
     When I talked to my dr. here he said, " so you want to be a woman"? I said, "no! I already am, I just am ready for my body to match the fact that I am. He said he doesn`t know of anyhting he could do for me and If I want HRT he wants me to get that from a Dr. with experiance with HRT. This whole time he had a really uncomfortable , puzzled look on his face.
      Before I came to acceptance I was living with pre planned suicide for when my girls where adults. I get so much hope for a long life when I tell myself when the girls are adults, living as a man will seem unreal. I will be a beautiful ,edjucated ( and I need that) woman and nobody will know. I just wish I didn`t have to leave home... So Sad  Angie   Love ya,

i did.  i wanted people to see me and accept me as what i am, female.  i couldn't do that in my hometown since everyone was aware of the [boy down the street who changed his sex]. 

i lead a very successful life as a woman now.  no one could ever suspect that my gf and i weren't born anatomically female.  how could they? we pass 105% of the time and don't do anything out of the ordinary in our community [to raise eyebrows] .

I had to move away, as far away as possible, from my parents.  This was not out of medical circumstances, but out of the fact they can't meddle with my life here. 
I also moved to start a job doing something I believe in and loved, but where I could also transition on the job. 

I had plenty of reasons to move to DC.  It was a wonderful choice for me.

QuoteDid you need to move to start your changes?

It's tempting, but I just don't know yet. Yes, it'd sure be cool to start over somewhere where people ONLY knew me as Kate. Even if they knew of my male past, that's far different than constantly struggling to be seen against the memories of HIM that those who knew me cling to.

And yet, that kinda feels like "running away" to me. Hiding once again, first from who we are, and then from who we were. And so far on this journey, the only thing that's worked for me is to STOP running and face things head-on. Generally, when I have, The Great Big Monsters have all gone poof! without me lifting a finger.

My wife and I were *seriously* not getting along well for awhile there, which was really giving me the urge to just RUN AWAY from it all. And wouldn't you know it, things changed somehow, and right now we're doing really well - considering.

So you just never know. We change, and the people around us often change too if given time and patience. I'd really hate to run away from everyone and everything I so dearly love just to avoid an "awkwardness"  that time may heal.

~Kate~

Yes, I had to move away.  I started transition in Salt Lake City.  But it didn't work out.  I had some serious problems and indeed, I had to run away to start my own life.  Putting some distance between my family and church was the only way I could make it work.  And it has.  I miss my family now, who for the most part have come to accept me, but I could never move back to Utah.  I love m life here in California.  I'd give up way too much to move back.

Cindi

I didn't move.  I told all of my clients (self employeed) that I was transitioning, most handled it well, a couple did not want me to come back, they could not handle the change.

Sarah L.

I didn't move either. Told all my clients about the transition and they were all fine with it. Stayed in the same job in the same town that I grew up in.

It's been fine so far.

Dennis

    I feel better but I have been moving from myself since I was 18. Now I`m done running from myself and now have to run to myself because I have no medical halp here. I will be back though. I love this Island and if not here possibly  New Zeland.
  Cindi J. I would leave Salt Lake without transition.( joking) My brother just moved here from there. Now he doesn`t even want to fly east. LOL, I grew up in a mormon family and will tell them but will not make anymore attempt than that to keep them in my life. They are already out of it. except my brother we are naighbors and dive buddies now.

Me?  Heck no!  Same family.  Same job.  Different church.

I was moving, anyway, to my retirement (Ha ha ha) location.  [10 years later, and I'm still working on the same Navy project.]  The difference was that my now-ex didn't move with me. 

Within 9 months I was full time.  Two years later I was remarried and postop.  Lost wife; gained husband.

Life is good, including the semiretired work.

Robyn, who turned 70 today

I think moving is an individual choice and has to do with how you want others to see you after you transition.  A woman or a transsexual.   I personally chose to be stealth and decided to move to a nearby city and start a new life, with a new circle of friends, a new job, etc. 

As some wise woman here said once, I am a woman with a transsexual history, not a transsexual and want to live my life as such.  My medical history doesn't pertain to anyone, except me.  Therefore, sometimes, drastic but necessary changes are needed to accomplish such goals.

tink

I didn't move on purpose, I was forced to move on.  I was told to leave my job I had when I began transition, but I'm still at the job I transitioned at.  However, there has been a lot of turnover and no more than half the people knew me before I went fulltime (I went fulltime after working there 2 months).  Heck, even my new boss didn't ever see me and as far as I know, it's never been a big deal and so there wasn't really a rumor mill.  I had to move out of the house I was living in, especially since me and my ex were not getting along at all.  I just decided to move into my apartment complex in stealth and that worked out well.  All in all, I've been pretty resistant to going stealth, only by force, but because I pass well, I've kind of just been thrown into stealth life (I hate telling about myself to everyone due to fear).

Quote from: Robyn on June 06, 2007, 09:57:27 PM
Robyn, who turned 70 today

Congratulations.

Quote from: Tink on June 06, 2007, 11:07:30 PM
I think moving is an individual choice and has to do with how you want others to see you after you transition.  A woman or a transsexual.   I personally chose to be stealth and decided to move to a nearby city and start a new life, with a new circle of friends, a new job, etc. 

As some wise woman here said once, I am a woman with a transsexual history, not a transsexual and want to live my life as such.  My medical history doesn't pertain to anyone, except me.  Therefore, sometimes, drastic but necessary changes are needed to accomplish such goals.

tink

There are plenty of other reasons to move other than to go stealth.  I moved so I could get started with transitioning, so I would be at a job which I could transition at work and not run into difficulties. I moved because I knew my family would be a potential issue, and I rather be far away than have them meddling with something I needed to do.   Sometimes you have to move to get the process started, not because you do not want people to know you are TS.  There are a myriad of reasons to move outside of just the desire for stealth or to be perceived strictly as your target gender.  I know some TS rather have people not know of their TS status and that is why they move.  I am not one of those people.  I had other issues, other reasons to move. 

It does not always have to do how you will be seen after transition, in many cases moving is the only way to start transitioning.   Going stealth is not for everybody.  I have to many friends from my past life to abandon they know I am TS.  I had to move though to start my transition, I am not planning on moving to go stealth though.  I would abandon to much I care about, I am more than just my gender identity. 

Quote from: Amy T. on June 07, 2007, 12:30:14 AM

Quote from: Tink on June 06, 2007, 11:07:30 PM
I think moving is an individual choice and has to do with how you want others to see you after you transition.  A woman or a transsexual.   I personally chose to be stealth and decided to move to a nearby city and start a new life, with a new circle of friends, a new job, etc. 

As some wise woman here said once, I am a woman with a transsexual history, not a transsexual and want to live my life as such.  My medical history doesn't pertain to anyone, except me.  Therefore, sometimes, drastic but necessary changes are needed to accomplish such goals.

tink

There are plenty of other reasons to move other than to go stealth.  I moved so I could get started with transitioning, so I would be at a job which I could transition at work and not run into difficulties.  Sometimes you have to move to get the process started, not because you do not want people to know you are TS.  There are a myriad of reasons to move outside of just the desire for stealth or to be perceived strictly as your target gender. 

That's true, Amy.  There are many other reasons.  I was merely pointing out my own reasons since the main objective of this thread is to get different viewpoints and opinions of the why's we did/do what we did/do.

tink

Very true.  But I have noticed there are very few reasons to move.  Probably only three. 
1. You were forced out
2. To go stealth.
3. It was the only way to start.

I guess that is not a myriad.  The circumstances for those reasons though could be diverse. 

PS.  I misinterpreted your post the first time I read through it.  Sorry about that.

I transitioned in the city that I had lived in for 15 years and the Company I worked for for 20 years.... then moved.

I thought about moving, but my Company fully supported me and I had many friends who did accept me and helped me.

It was not easy facing the same people day after day, wanting just to be me, but facing people who knew (some accepted, some didn't) my past. It was hard to escape the past and move fully into a new life, well at least for me anyway.

I was offered redundancy and used that to move on from where I lived, to start a new life post op, Female Birth Certificate and documents.

I dont regret doing that one bit.

Buffy

i did.  i wanted people to see me and accept me as what i am, female.  i couldn't do that in my hometown since everyone was aware of the [boy down the street who changed his sex]. 

I couldn't agree with you more here on your thoughts. I have been wanting to move away and start my 'new' life. Just recently, my GF was talking about it with me, so it may happen . . .

Really glad to hear that you have a successful life as a woman. 

Happy birthday Robyn, mine is today and I'm 39 

Gina 

I guess I actually never answered the "Did you need to move to start your changes?" question...

No, I didn't' move to get started. There was no reason to. My employer is being beyond wonderful to me, my friends (except for one) are great with it all, and the few neighbors I've spoken with about it have basically said they don't care (in a good way). Though still troubled, my relationship with my wife has been getting better and better. I have no family in the area (they're not supportive anyway), and most of my wife's family - who do all live nearby - are totally supportive. I love my current therapist and doctor. And I live in a very cool, very eclectic and amusing town which I ADORE... it'd break my heart to leave it.

And yet - mark my words - I have this feeling that in one year, *everything* is going to change, as I just cannot SEE beyond that point.

~Kate~

Quote from: almost,angie on June 06, 2007, 02:37:53 PM
     He said he doesn`t know of anyhting he could do for me and If I want HRT he wants me to get that from a Dr. with experiance with HRT.

Because of the reputation hormones have with causing problems most doctors will want you to see an endocrinologist first to make sure you will be taken care of with the highest degree of expertise.

It sounds as if you have more reasons than transition to move. If you are accepted into the veterinary college at UI that is more than enough reason to go live in Chicago for four or five years.