I've closed myself down so hard that I don't know I can answer honestly. As a child and adolescent I was awkward and shy, hated my inability to be one of the popular crowd. As an adult I'm successful and well regarded in a work environment, but have no real social life. I don't try to have one. I was married for 20+ years before my wife passed, and have a daughter who is now a young adult, although still at home. I have enough intellectual pursuits to occupy me, although lately those have been languishing as I'm spending too much time here considering the issues at hand, and in time wasting unproductive activities. Sounds like depression, no? But it's well suppressed and I'm generally upbeat and have always been an optimist although with an often sarcastic, dark edge. I find joy and happiness in different interests and distractions.
So, how do I see life: for years my philosophy boiled down to just this: Stuff Happens. There's no rhyme, no reason, no great purpose, no grand plan, and there's no point in looking for one - it's not there. This doesn't equate to unhappiness, I think you can believe all that and still be a happy person. Why are we here? To enjoy life while we can, to help others in our circle, to leave the world a better place for those that come after, and to marvel in all the wonders that surround us that we have no hope of ever understanding.
-Ani
Afternote: Peter Gabriel's, Don't Give Up just popped up in the random shuffle:
don't give up
you know it's never been easy
don't give up
'cause I believe there's a place
there's a place where we belong
Kate Bush has an amazing voice.
