Yes 


And I agree.

Quote from: Sarah Blomsterhatt on January 25, 2013, 12:00:43 PM
A fellow Swede <3. Yeah, it's amazing the amount of stupid that can come out of the mouths of people with good intentions.

I've had that from a third party who said to a friend of mine about me "He [sic] just got the idea off the Internet" - my gender incongruity predates the existence of the Internet by at least a decade, deario.

"It's because of the Internet..." is one of the first accusations by people who have NO clue about which they disagree.

In fact, it would behoove people who BLAME the internet, to maybe USE IT to learn basic facts about the people/ideas/opinions, before voicing their uninformed opinion(s).

Quote from: Padma on January 25, 2013, 08:04:03 PM
I've had that from a third party who said to a friend of mine about me "He [sic] just got the idea off the Internet" - my gender incongruity predates the existence of the Internet by at least a decade, deario.

See, I hate when people try to blame the internet.  If anything, the internet probably saved my life knowing that there are others out there like me and that something can be done about this.

Quote from: Caleb. on January 25, 2013, 04:07:41 PM
\

Ack! I got this one! The Internets brainwashed me. I was so mad. I also got the "do you know any women that look like men? Maybe they looked glamorous?" -_-

Your proposed response is a good one. That you had these feelings before you used the internet. Another good one is "I've seen opinions of people who are supportive, yes, but also people who are not supportive. I've carefully considered this and I know this is the right thing."

I find that when I have the strength to be firm with people, and insist that this is something that is my decision and my decision alone, it often puts them at ease. It hasn't been that simple with some of my family, but meh.

That's the biggest thing I will try to focus on when I do come out to the rest of my family-is to be firm on my stance.  That approach hasn't worked on my father, but I do think it helped when I came out to my sister.  When the day comes that I will have to come out to my mom and other sister, I wish make sure I am super prepared.  I may even write what I want to say on paper first.

The ones that really get to me is either "You're still a guy no matter what" or when I have "accepting" people tell me they wouldn't date me because of what my chromosomes are -_-

I blame the internet whenever I have gastric mishaps 

Quote from: EmmaS on January 25, 2013, 10:39:06 PM
The ones that really get to me is either "You're still a guy no matter what" or when I have "accepting" people tell me they wouldn't date me because of what my chromosomes are -_-

I find the chromosome argument really baffling to be honest. Sure, maybe they do stay the same - but compared to how much changes? Body shape, smell, skin texture, emotional responses, some secondary sex characteristics (even more after surgeries, but even HRT...). Is someone seriously going to argue that chromosomes that can in no way be known without genetic testing outweighs all of those physical things?

Quote from: Malachite on January 25, 2013, 08:56:49 PM
See, I hate when people try to blame the internet.  If anything, the internet probably saved my life That's the biggest thing I will try to focus on when I do come out to the rest of my family-is to be firm on my stance.  That approach hasn't worked on my father, but I do think it helped when I came out to my sister.  When the day comes that I will have to come out to my mom and other sister, I wish make sure I am super prepared.  I may even write what I want to say on paper first

It's hard to be firm but it's definitely worth it. I stopped being firm at some point and it hasn't served me - not just in terms of moving my family along, but also in terms of my emotional health and self esteem.

I was asked this while coming out to a friend "Why don't you try to be happy as a guy?"  "I tried that for 45 years didn't work" Was my reply.

Stepmom "Why put yourself through this you'll still be you." Yup depressed and suicidal. Was what came to mind.

Dad "I'm behind your decision, You'll always be my son" No Dad I hope some day you will see me as your daughter.

Hugs
Bethany

Quote from: Caleb. on January 26, 2013, 12:58:53 AM
I find the chromosome argument really baffling to be honest. Sure, maybe they do stay the same - but compared to how much changes? Body shape, smell, skin texture, emotional responses, some secondary sex characteristics (even more after surgeries, but even HRT...). Is someone seriously going to argue that chromosomes that can in no way be known without genetic testing outweighs all of those physical things?

That's a unique skill to be able to see people's chromosomes without the use of magnification equipment. They could make a lot of money with that skill.

When describing how annoyed I felt by having stuff like boobs (intended as an example), one of my friends said "Maybe you could just get them reduced, that might help."

(-_-) no, no it wouldn't...

"Don't think you're going to replace your sister like this."

Geez, mom, she moved 2 miles away; she isn't dead. 

"You said it, sister!" - A friend of mine who knows I'm trans
Well, it was an honest slip-up and he apologized right after, but still 

Quote from: Liminal Stranger on February 04, 2013, 07:59:03 PM
Well, it was an honest slip-up and he apologized right after, but still 

Well, don't take it too personally. For example, my friends have known me for several years, so asking them to call me she instead of he overnight with no mistakes is a bit too much to ask, especially because I still look like a he. Not to mention that they call their cis female friends "dude." Makes me feel better.

Oh, I didn't, thus the tongue sticking out emote that I use way too often 

I don't think I've ever put anyone on the spot with these kinds of statements - I've always considered myself an ally.  I try to treat those that I know are trans like everyone else (and those that I don't know, well I don't know so I don't have to try, they just get treated).  Though then again I've been part of my own fair share of awkward silences, however, I'm also socially inept.

I DO have a trans friend IRL who is fairly open about being trans and I have had questions (some that are really close to some of the invasive ones listed) out of a genuine desire to 1) learn more about her, where she's been in hopes to become a closer friend, and 2) see some of what I might be looking at down the line and learn about it from someone I trust and has been there.  I know my expierence won't match hers, but a little help never hurts.  I've never gotten up the urge to ask them, because, most of them are none of my business. 

If I ever get up the nerve, she'll probably be the first non-partner/friend I tell, because I feel like I know she'll understand.

I also mis-gendered an aquaintance once, two years ago, during a social function.  I felt awful about it but couldn't stop myself once the thought had gotten in my head,  I fumbled over it for probably 5 minutes before I finally got her name in my head instead of the incorrect pronoun.  Two years later I still want to go up to her and apologize again.


If/When I'm ever asked any of these  I'll either respond with tenderness and try to explain my viewpoint, or with snark and derision as appropriate to the tone of the conversation.  Something like:
"Are you going to keep your penis?" (helpful, confused) - "Probably, although that's a rather personal question, the surgery involved is quite extensive and probably wouldn't give me what I'm looking for..."  vs
"Are you going to keep your penis?" (derisive, confrontational) - "Whoa! You should at least take a girl out before you go getting that close..."

Quote from: omdorastrix on February 05, 2013, 12:59:28 PM
If/When I'm ever asked any of these  I'll either respond with tenderness and try to explain my viewpoint, or with snark and derision as appropriate to the tone of the conversation.  Something like:
"Are you going to keep your penis?" (helpful, confused) - "Probably, although that's a rather personal question, the surgery involved is quite extensive and probably wouldn't give me what I'm looking for..."  vs
"Are you going to keep your penis?" (derisive, confrontational) - "Whoa! You should at least take a girl out before you go getting that close..."

Or.... "Of course! That's what this jar is for."

Quote from: Emily Elizabeth on February 05, 2013, 03:28:24 PM
Or.... "Of course! That's what this jar is for."

I would totally do that. 

Actually, instead, you should say, "Remember that sausage I gave you for breakfast earlier?..." Priceless! 

Quote from: Beth Andrea on January 25, 2013, 08:51:35 PM
"It's because of the Internet..." is one of the first accusations by people who have NO clue about which they disagree.

In fact, it would behoove people who BLAME the internet, to maybe USE IT to learn basic facts about the people/ideas/opinions, before voicing their uninformed opinion(s).

Isn't one of the number one porn destinations transsexual porn? So, for all those millions of guys fantasizing over transsexual porn, if they are going to cross over to the dark side, then you're going to need a bigger forum!

My own personal slap in the face insult is if I tell people about being molested as a child that I'm this way because of it.  To which I counter with must be an awful lot of girly altar boys and transsexual adults suffering nowadays from being molested by priests.

QuoteMy own personal slap in the face insult is if I tell people about being molested as a child that I'm this way because of it.

People just have NO IDEA how much that comment hurts...how deep it cuts.  They just fling it out there like it's a "nothing statement."

My Mother (who really means well but doesn't know what to say):

"Are you going to get a penis? Will it be like a real one?"

Just to trip her out I told her testosterone is making me grow one.

Her reply: "How big is it?"

My reply: "Keep asking nosy questions and I'm going to put testosterone gel in your shampoo so you can grow your own."

...she shut up.