Here's the thing and my view on religions. They are man's perception of a limited brain trying to grasp the concepts of why we are here, good vs. evil, something as expansive as the universe, eternity and so on. The bible was written by people trying to grasp the same answers to the same questions that we have today. We do however get teachers that are of higher spirits incarnated such as those in the bible that push and prod us to a higher enlightenment. The main one being Christ, in the bible at least but there were others before and will be others after. If you really look into some of the teachings of Christ, they hint more upon a personal spiritual relationship with God or our Creator. Which by the way isn't the old man in the sky looking down on us with disdain and wanting to banish us to hell because we don't follow a church doctrine. When man (as a whole like mankind) gets involved and wants to control the masses, what better way than to threaten an eternity of torture and pain if you don't do or act according to what the leaders wish you to. I often times wonder what Christ would think of the organized religions we have today with corrupt televangelist driving Mercedes Benzes and getting hummers in the backseat. Or what Christ would think of a 6 million dollar church while people are starving and getting murdered around the world.
Contrary to popular belief, the view of reincarnation was abolished in the sixth century. The reason it is very vague in writings such as the bible was because it was an accepted dynamic of spirituality in those times. "A sinner dies a thousand deaths" is one of the biggest pointers to it. When you die and you only have one life how can you die another 999 times? I've found many references pointing to it. Remember a whole empire took over Christianity as a means to control the masses. These socalled leaders couldn't bear to think someone such as a common peasant could be more spiritually advanced than themselves because of their own powerlust and arrogance. Christ was born in the spring in the northern hemisphere because the shepards were watching over their flocks. This occured in the spring because the sheep were birthing. This is also symbolic of a new beginning of lifecycles and the rebirth of vegetation. A new beggining so to say. When the Roman empire got involved they took the winter solstice in order to gain more followers because that is a pagan holiday and gifts were given, much as they are today.
The main thing is You want to believe in God, that part of God with wich you were created with is within you so believe and yes you can. Don't let someone dictate to you as to their perceptions of God. We all have this. I know you feel as if God is not answering your prayers. It's not up to God to answer them because you were created in God's image and you have all that you need to use the ability. Not to mention our freewill. Not what you see when you look in the mirror but rather your spirit or soul or a hundred other names for it. And you can provide your own answers as to what you really need. Sometimes we have to go through hard times and desparity in order to strengthen our spirits. God knows I've seen my share and still seeing them. Use life as a learning lesson. If you are discriminated against use it. Know how it feels and remember when you discriminate against others you are causing them the same pain. If you are hated by someone learn how not to hate back. Lessons in Karma or another word Righteousness, What you sow, so shall you reap.
Listen to those tiny voices in your head unless they are negative in nature such as suicide and hurting someone, if so, then seek help. Question everything spiritually because how can you get answers or find what you're looking for if you don't seek it out. Spirituality is personal, it's not a one size fits all. If you don't fall within an established religion, don't worry, it's just that you aren't following the heard and seeking answers as to what your questions are. Learn how to meditate and look inward for answers. Have you ever wondered why you are one way on the outside but feel the opposite inside? There are answers but not from science or other outward establishments.