Hi guys, this is my first new topic and this is an important one for me. 

I have so many questions, but I will try to keep them limited.

Kids: How important are having children to you? Amongst many other issues I have in hindering me transitioning - having children is one of them. I'm 30 years old, have known I want to transition since I was 15 but haven't made a move. I am thinking about "egg harvesting" to ensure I will have kids, even after transitioning. I have never wanted to be pregnant, the whole idea feels wrong and terrifies me beyond words. I hear its quite painful to prepare the body for egg harvesting, but if its the only way to go, I must!

Packing: Has anyone here tried the peecock? The new (3in1) with the "pleasure kit" etc? How does it feel? Is it comfortable?

Top surgery: Can anyone share their experience of having top surgery? Was it very painful? How long was it before you could move your arms? Any complications?

Adams apple: How many of you have "Grown" an Adams apple after using T? And how long on T were you when it began to protrude?

Bottom surgery: Apart from being very costly, what else keeps you from going ahead with surgery? There are a few options, I found the "Skin graft" a shaft one very good - but don't like the idea of having my arm/buttocks sliced up for the job!

Straight girls: How do you tell a girl your trans? And at what point in the "Courting" do you think its appropriate?

Ok ill stop there for now 

Having kids.

I suffered from facial muscle strain for 5 days after my son was born. I was THAT happy to hold him 5 minutes after he was born.

Yes I saw it from the male form side of the process.

I seriously doubt the sound of another human's child crying will hurt my ears quite the way the sound of my son's crying does.

Will not actually giving birth to the child matter? damn right it will. If if isn't created in the usual fashion, you might as well stop pretending anything else will be the same. So what they used your eggs. It will NOT feel the same. Some other female will have carried it and that child will NOT be bonded to you at all. The infant could be raised by you, but, it will never be ore than an adoption.

You might as well adopt.

Me personally, if I could become pregnant, and have a child, I'd do it without a second's thought.
But I can't, never will know the feeling, and it will ALWAYS be a form of lacking I can't cure.

As a FTM I suppose it will feel different. But, I can't think of anything so thrilling about the 9 months I got to being merely a spectator while my wife did all the work, took all the risk, and suffered all the discomfort, all so I could have sore face muscles for a few days.

Yes, I DO find it awkward being called 'dad' when I am a woman in my mind.
I can't think of you really having an easy time getting mother's day cards after transition.

Giving away the chance to have seen the other side, well once that is gone, you can't have it back eh.
Really, in the end, that is the thing to consider. Not how it will make you feel while doing it, but, how it might make you feel looking back and seeing what you gave away.

As for the rest of your questions. Well so many things are really 'what's in it for you?'.

Not having breasts can be as annoying as having them. And breasts do tend to ruin an illusion.
hiding a lack of something in male swim wear is a lot more effort than hiding something that sure is there in a bikini
It's the reverse of breasts. Filling a bra is no fun with nothing to put in it. Going topless is a bit of a problem with very obvious breasts.
Going bottomless is a major obvious limitation with the wrong part.

Thus, I don't think expense or how it will feel is relevant. How much do you need it?

Straight girls, well you will find, that finding a person to want you is not easy regardless.
Love is like that eh. So people have to get married several times to find someone worth having.
Some get lucky on the first try.
How do you tell a girl you are trans? The same way you tell them you are anything else tricky. Like religious, or non religious, or a spy, or into out of the usual sex interests, or obsessed with large families.

Quote from: Mysteryman on March 03, 2013, 06:46:31 AM
Bottom surgery: Apart from being very costly, what else keeps you from going ahead with surgery? There are a few options, I found the "Skin graft" a shaft one very good - but don't like the idea of having my arm/buttocks sliced up for the job!

Straight girls: How do you tell a girl your trans? And at what point in the "Courting" do you think its appropriate?

Ok ill stop there for now 

I wouldn't do bottom surgery because of the risk of complications, the massive downtime involved, and the fact I want to wait and see what happens with improvements.  I think the post surgery results would actually be more dysphoria inducing.  This is my opinion, for me only - results are great for some guys, and I understand that some people need it  and satisfied with it. Also the cost is prohibitive for me currently.

As for straight girls - someone in another thread here said it is much easier to explain everything at first without mentioning the word transgender or transsexual. That seems like it would be true. Just say how you feel, what is up with you, and present it that way. You can do it after a couple of dates that you keep friendly without being physical, that way they can make a decision on your personality before they evaluate how they feel about you being trans.

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on March 03, 2013, 07:26:02 AM
I seriously doubt the sound of another human's child crying will hurt my ears quite the way the sound of my son's crying does.

Will not actually giving birth to the child matter? damn right it will. If if isn't created in the usual fashion, you might as well stop pretending anything else will be the same. So what they used your eggs. It will NOT feel the same. Some other female will have carried it and that child will NOT be bonded to you at all. The infant could be raised by you, but, it will never be ore than an adoption.

It sorta sounds like you are saying people who adopt or have someone else carry their eggs can't love their children in the same way traditional parents do. It is great you have a biological child that you love, but it is not great to invalidate the way other people have their kids by scaring them about how it will different, and implying that the bond will be less significant. It is actually offensive to people who were adopted or adopted their kids, or to people who had kids but cannot conceive naturally.

Mysteryman, no matter how you choose to have kids - you will love them the same as any traditional parent will, don't worry. Adopted kids and kids from relationships where one partner could not conceive naturally, can bond to their parents the same as any, and you can love them unconditionally the same way.

If you want to do egg harvesting - I think it is an involved process that means you have to take female hormones to prepare your body for optimal egg production.  Also, I read somewhere the eggs expire much faster than sperm does, so you may have to plan ahead and be ready to have kids before you are ready for it in life.  Don't despair though - adoption is still great option, and you can always artificially  conceive with the help of your partner's genetic donation. It will still be your kid, and you won't love it any less.

Welcome to susan's!!!

Babies: I was not aware I was trans til very recently but didn't date for quite a long time and never wanted kids. There are other ways of having kids besides egg donation, kind of $$$$ option that doesn't necessarily work. (Options kind fo depend on if you are gay or straight, I suppose).

Packer: I wear a Reel Magik Basic Packer or a Lola Jake prosthetic (got that cheap). I don't pack all the time.

Top surgery: Havent' had yet. Look at the archive and youtube and you can follow guys who have had it. Skylarkeleven has a bit and JackGr8ndEmpire has a LOT of info. There is just a lot out there on it. But everybody is different and we all heal at different rates and that kind of thing. There are two basic kinds of surgeries too.

Adam's apple: No body can tell how you will react to T, some people get one and some do not so much. People who do not still get correctly gendered.

Straight girls: Well I am dating a trans girl. I don't think we are exactly straight.


--Jay

Quote from: Mysteryman on March 03, 2013, 06:46:31 AM
Kids: How important are having children to you? Amongst many other issues I have in hindering me transitioning - having children is one of them. I'm 30 years old, have known I want to transition since I was 15 but haven't made a move. I am thinking about "egg harvesting" to ensure I will have kids, even after transitioning. I have never wanted to be pregnant, the whole idea feels wrong and terrifies me beyond words. I hear its quite painful to prepare the body for egg harvesting, but if its the only way to go, I must!

Vitally important. From a very early age I've had a strong urge to have my own biological children. I didn't necessarily want to go through pregnancy & childbirth (the idea terrified me) but I manned up & did it anyway. I coped by seeing pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding as functions that my body could do in order to achieve my goal of being a parent to my own biological kids... but I didn't see these functions as part of my identity. I coped relatively OK at the time but I don't think I could do it again because my dysphoria has become much worse with age.

I knew from age 19 that I needed to transition, but I held off on transitioning because I was in denial. I tried marriage & kids to see if they could help me figure out how to be a 'woman', but they never worked. Now I'm transitioning at 41 with two teenage kids.

If it's important to you, and egg harvesting is the way you think you should go... then do it without hesitation before doing anything that might jeopardise your fertility.

As for your other questions, I don't want to pack because only my own junk will be good enough for me (packers make me feel even more dysphoric); I'm pre-T; I'm pre-surgery but I'm leaning towards a meta; and I'm gay so I can't advise you on courting girls.

Had kids already the regular way.  Alien experience, but glad I had them!

Have not tried the peecock but it is on my list of things to purchase.  I have tried most of the other prosthetics out there.  Best one for sex is the FTM Prosthetics 6" erect from Australia.  Pricey but good length, girth, and hard yet soft, if you know what I mean.  Forget the Dual option, you'll never pack with it, and forget the glue, also.  Use a harness or double briefs.  Best soft packer is the Mr. Limpy 3.5" or its equivalent.  I used to use a Mango STP.  Their cup was firm yet soft, and worked well when postioned correctly.  not sure if they are still in business and they had some serious shipping issues (ie took 18 months!! to get my last order; but that was several years ago now).  Peecock sounds great, though, and might be the ticket for STP as well as sex.

Top surgery not very painful overall, just limited mobility.  Everyone heals differently.  I bounce back pretty quickly but I'd say give yourself a good 3 months before expecting to be back to 100% normal. Even then, listen to your body.  If it says 'not yet' then heed.

Regarding bottom surgery: I know we'd all like a good 3-4" soft hang and a 6" hard dick, but since there are no magic genies, I will say that even though I now have a 1" soft dick and a 2.5" hard dick, just having A dick I can pee through was like magic on my dysphoria.  Finding cis men with small to micro penises helped; Now I'm just a regular guy with a small dick.  Having the hole gone is amazing.  Don't discount a meta just because of size; there are other benefits psychologically speaking.  And you may find that you don't need a phallo.  Or, you can decide that yes, you want to go for a phallo anyway.

I will say that the healing time is really a good 6-8 weeks and it will take way more out of you than a hysto or top surgery.  Some guys get the hysto done at the same time (I didn't) so I can't imagine what the recovery for that would be.  I heal easily but this surgery did beat the snot out of me.  But it was worth it.  Phallo isn't for me for several reasons (financial, time, but mostly I can't really afford the down time for healing that it would require).  I have seen some amazing phallo results that make me go heck, yeah!  I want THAT! Maybe if I were younger, LOL.

As far as coming out to a date: I wouldn't to casual dates (ie would you tell them you had an endocrine disorder on a first or second date?), but once it's obvious it is serious and you want to take it to the next level, I would.  Some people prefer to be out right from the get go.  I prefer my privacy and to remain stealth; therefore the fewer casual acquaintances I tell the fewer people know.  But this is a personal decision.  Since I have had both surgeries, I wouldn't tell a casual date anything, just that I have a micro dick if it got to the point of sex.  My current SO I told on the 3rd date.  but he said if I didn't tell him, he'd have thought I was just a micro dicked guy. 


Good luck with your decisions!

Kids: I've always wanted kids, but I want to be a dad. I don't want to be pregnant. I want to care for a kid, look after them, love them, but no way in hell do I want to be the mammy. Sure, it sucks knowing the kid won't be mine biologically, but infertile cis people get round that so what's to say I can't? I don't see a problem with adopting. That's probably the way I'll go when the time comes.

Everything else I don't have answers for, because I'm closeted and living at home (can't wait to move out so I can start transitioning properly). Also, I'm not straight (or a girl) so don't feel qualified to answer your last question. :p

Hey guys,

thanks for all the great responses! I haven't had much "private time" all week - so today I am catching up.

I've been busy watching more videos of F2M on YouTube... Getting soo jealous of all the wonderful results those guys are getting!