Hi everyone

I'm mentally starting to feel that I will need to go fulltime soon. I still work fulltime in boy mode in an office and have had a lot of male fails of late lol. It's kind of awkward because i wear the usuall horrible male business shirts and pants but I have hair down to my shoulder . I kind of look untidy.

I can go out in public in girl mode no problem just my voice is so bad. I'm started seeing a speech therapist a month a ago but I think I'll still need a few more month

Now to my question I guess when did you know it was time to go fulltime. Was it when you mentally could not handle putting up with presenting as male or was it when you kept having male fail all the time. Or did you keep to a plan?

Thanks for all the girls comments about my photos in the do I pass section. I really appreciated it

Thanks
Emma

Ps my one year on hrt comes up in two weeks. I'm so happy it's gone so quick

Congrats on the 1 year!

I went full time when it caused me to many emotional issues to present male anymore.

Just curious, what fails do you mean?

When people started having trouble seeing me as a boy even when I was presenting as a boy, that's when I knew full time was then. Looking back though, I was still a bit in between for a few months after I went full time... at least compared to where I'm at now. But I was ready because I just got fired from work, I had a couple new friends that met me as Alaina, and I just started my laser... so it was the perfect time to change my name legally and just go full blast.

Sounds counter intuitive to be unemployed and transition at the same time because of money issues... but I was (and still am) getting unemployment, and was getting student loans to pay for some things, along with some help from my mom and friends like clothes and things like that. For me it was just so many signs saying "Do it now!"

when people started calling me by female pronouns even when i was in boy cloths. i figured i must be full time so go with the flow

Quote from: Tristan on April 06, 2013, 12:04:30 PM
when people started calling me by female pronouns even when i was in boy cloths. i figured i must be full time so go with the flow

This

I was a year past strangers ma'aming me when I went fulltime. I mostly chose the time to do it when the company I was working for closed and it was a good time to change my name. no way could I have done it working as a stevedore. Also by then, everyone that knew me knew something freaky was going on, lol.

Well, I went full time when I had enough courage.

I'm going full time as early as possible. I'm not young and I don't want to miss living a moment of my life as I should.

I promised my wife I'd wait until our son graduates high school. That's happening in June, so that's when I'm doing it.

I won't pass well, but then I don't think more time would help me pass better. Only FFS would help there, and that ain't happening.

Quote from: Jaime R D on April 06, 2013, 05:42:13 PM
I was a year past strangers ma'aming me when I went fulltime. I mostly chose the time to do it when the company I was working for closed and it was a good time to change my name. no way could I have done it working as a stevedore. Also by then, everyone that knew me knew something freaky was going on, lol.

Wow! You got ma'amed for a year and managed to still pass as male. Not so long ago, it was ladies' night at the Viper Room and I was on a business trip and my friend got in for free and they took one look at me and said "close enough" and let me pass. Don't know what that means but sh*t like that happens all the time and I even had to show one guy my license before he would believe I was a man. So I'm really worried that I'll be forced to go fulltime before I'm ready voice-wise and employment-wise. Though I'm trying to get into grad school at Penn so this could actually help me in some respects, ya know diversity and all that. This is a good question though.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on April 06, 2013, 05:59:04 PM
Wow! You got ma'amed for a year and managed to still pass as male. Not so long ago, it was ladies' night at the Viper Room and I was on a business trip and my friend got in for free and they took one look at me and said "close enough" and let me pass. Don't know what that means but sh*t like that happens all the time and I even had to show one guy my license before he would believe I was a man. So I'm really worried that I'll be forced to go fulltime before I'm ready voice-wise and employment-wise. Though I'm trying to get into grad school at Penn so this could actually help me in some respects, ya know diversity and all that. This is a good question though.

I wasn't really passing as male so much as as I just kept wearing male clothes and not telling anyone other than my dad that I was trans. I'd go out to lunch with some guys from work and even dirty, wearing flannel and an old baseball cap, I'd get ma'amed. The guys just tried to ignore it, lol.  Most everyone had figured I was going over to the other side by then, but they just didn't want to say anything. Later I found out that even the people in the office at the port had figured it out, but didn't care so long as I did my job well.

Quote from: KaylaW on April 06, 2013, 09:43:35 AM
Just curious, what fails do you mean?

I was in the male toilet washing my hands in work clothes and a guy came in and asked as this the right toilet. I had the biggest smile that day. In the office a few times clients called me lady from behind and one time i was mistaken for a another female staf member. This is mostly when ppl look at me from behind.

I'm interested when you girls did go fulltime was your voice femine?  At the moment my voice is really male and makes me a bit afraid to be out in girl mode and talk

I've been working on the assumption that I'll go full-time as soon as I'm sure that I'll be able to completely and unambiguously be read as female.

Which would require a little voice training and a bit of a hair removal from where I am now... (And lots of make-up pre-hormones)

Well, as someone who believes the idea of transitioning in male mode, for her, would be silly cause, well, look at her.  Add in her age and yeah being ma'med ain't going to happen in male mode without FFS or other things she'd rather not get...

I went full time cause I just couldn't take being a guy anymore.  Yeah, I get clocked and misgendered and it bugs me.  I'm also sure if I put my mind to it I could come up with a long things I'd like to improve about my presentation, but I think that list would just get me down so I don't make it.  And, when it comes down to it, I'd rather be clockable yet hear my name and my appropriate pronouns from those goodly enough to use them on me.  It has made my life and my demeanor better.

Quote from: Misato33 on April 06, 2013, 07:54:46 PM
Well, as someone who believes the idea of transitioning in male mode, for her, would be silly cause, well, look at her.  Add in her age and yeah being ma'med ain't going to happen in male mode without FFS or other things she'd rather not get...

I went full time cause I just couldn't take being a guy anymore.  Yeah, I get clocked and misgendered and it bugs me.  I'm also sure if I put my mind to it I could come up with a long things I'd like to improve about my presentation, but I think that list would just get me down so I don't make it.  And, when it comes down to it, I'd rather be clockable yet hear my name and my appropriate pronouns from those goodly enough to use them on me.  It has made my life and my demeanor better.

Who are you talking about?

As for working on a list of things to improve about presentation... if that's what's going to make you happy, do it. When I started hormones (and even before), I was watching women AND men to see the differences and I'm STILL learning things. Deprogramming things you have ingrained into your brain for years takes a lot of learning. It's not going to happen by itself so if it's going to make you happier, just look at people and work on things. I've learned a million things by looking at both.

For the record, I don't pass in like 80% of the photos I take of myself. Yall just see the 20% good. I'd change a million and a half things about my looks. But presentation (and hair) works like crazy. I could show yall some ugly ugly pictures of me taken this past weekend and yall would think I DON'T pass... but when I'm relaxed and being myself, when I speak, when I move, when I dress appropriately, all that stuff... I can take photos that same day and not pass very well but in real life people have been floored to know I'm trans. And it's no disputing that. I've been to transgender support meetings and cis-gender counselors tell me they'd never have guessed if I didn't say I was trans in the meetings, the amount of attention they devote to me proves they aren't being nice, too. Everything from voice to manners to what I say to how I say it, the confidence (huge), those things matter like crazy.

Looks can clock you but grace can save you. But at the end of the day it's about being you. That's what this is all about. If you're not comfortable doing girl things, presenting as a girl does, willing to work on small details to be taken completely as a girl, then perhaps someone who doesn't want to falls into a more "gender queer" category than a full blown MtF transsexual? Not saying that it's a bad thing.. nobody is "trannier than thou" or something along that thought, just we talk about a gender spectrum, some of us may be a little closer to blue than stereotypes make cis women to be

I went full time as soon as I knew it was time. For about 6 months several people "figured out" what I was doing, and had asked me what my girl name would be...although I was totally nervous the first couple times I gave out my name, over time it got easier, and I almost introduced myself several times to people who seemed to be oblivious to my changes...

About the tenth time, I felt suddenly...relaxed...and from inside I heard, "It's time." That afternoon I went to see my boss about getting a new name tag...and soon after I learned that in order to fill out certain legal documents, I'd need a court-ordered name change...This made me very happy, and everything just fell into place.

My voice isn't good, but I seem to pass when people see me from behind, but not within 50' in front. Oh well. I'm happy.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 06, 2013, 08:36:11 PM
Who are you talking about?

Me, sorry.  I was talking about me.  Just, I've been metaphorically clocked prize fighter style a few times in the past week and that's been a drag on me few days (no pun intended).  Worst was actually weeks ago though.  I was wearing my favorite outfit, part of which is a pink skirt, and I got "Sir'd' at a Subway.

I just don't want to get my hopes up for what HRT will do for me.  Just be grateful for what does happen.  And I didn't want to predicate my going full time on passing cause despite the bumps I hit, I know I'd be a whole lot unhappier now if I still tried presenting myself as a guy.

Quote from: Girl Power on April 06, 2013, 06:11:39 PM
I'm interested when you girls did go fulltime was your voice femine?  At the moment my voice is really male and makes me a bit afraid to be out in girl mode and talk

I haven't changed my voice at all. And I get Ma'amed consistently every time on the phone and in person.

I went full time 3 months into HRT because word had spread at my workplace that I was on hormones. So I figured why the hell should I have to keep up the charade? After all, that's where I spent most of my time. And it's been 90% okay and 10% nightmare to get it done. I still have an issue with my drivers licence and laser hair removal to do but that's a case of finding the right papers and being able to afford the hair removal. I had once breifly added FFS to my list but a few people have said I don't really need it. I apparently have a good facial shape and bone structure. Some days I do wonder though what, if anything could they even do. lol

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 06, 2013, 08:36:11 PM
Who are you talking about?

As for working on a list of things to improve about presentation... if that's what's going to make you happy, do it. When I started hormones (and even before), I was watching women AND men to see the differences and I'm STILL learning things. Deprogramming things you have ingrained into your brain for years takes a lot of learning. It's not going to happen by itself so if it's going to make you happier, just look at people and work on things. I've learned a million things by looking at both.

For the record, I don't pass in like 80% of the photos I take of myself. Yall just see the 20% good. I'd change a million and a half things about my looks. But presentation (and hair) works like crazy. I could show yall some ugly ugly pictures of me taken this past weekend and yall would think I DON'T pass... but when I'm relaxed and being myself, when I speak, when I move, when I dress appropriately, all that stuff... I can take photos that same day and not pass very well but in real life people have been floored to know I'm trans. And it's no disputing that. I've been to transgender support meetings and cis-gender counselors tell me they'd never have guessed if I didn't say I was trans in the meetings, the amount of attention they devote to me proves they aren't being nice, too. Everything from voice to manners to what I say to how I say it, the confidence (huge), those things matter like crazy.

Looks can clock you but grace can save you. But at the end of the day it's about being you. That's what this is all about. If you're not comfortable doing girl things, presenting as a girl does, willing to work on small details to be taken completely as a girl, then perhaps someone who doesn't want to falls into a more "gender queer" category than a full blown MtF transsexual? Not saying that it's a bad thing.. nobody is "trannier than thou" or something along that thought, just we talk about a gender spectrum, some of us may be a little closer to blue than stereotypes make cis women to be

Alaina

I couldn't of said it better unless I used 1000 words!! so much of being a woman has nothing to do with how you dress or look...sure it helps but if you still act like a man and are not 100% (who is) people may start to wonder.

I have had many people including therapists say the same thing to me...problem is I never think their serius...I always feel people are just being nice. It has happened too much for me not to believe and I have used it to boost my self esteem. Sometimes I say to myself, Shelly your now a woman and there's nothing you can do about it LOL. What realy helps me is working stealth. I have heard people make remarks about sex changes or little jokes about it in front of me with them not even thinking I am transgendered. I too could post pics of me that I'm sure many would say I look great...theirs also many that I feel I look so much like a guy. Even at work when I have a bad hair day I feel everyone feels... geez is that a guy...only to get hit on by a man!! So much of transitioning has to do with self confidence. Like you say if your not willing to take the time to make the subtle changes needed....maybe transitioning isn't for you. (Not speaking of you)

So much of how I changed has just come out of nowhere...I was never a feminine man though I wasn't some macho man either. Other things like how you greet other women and men are things that I may have changed purposely but seemed to come natural...I can't even remember how I did it before but I'm sure it came with a head nod!! But I still have some tendencies of not greeting all people I may work with..even if a woman doesn't like someone they still say hi..I have a tendency to ignore some!!

I do wish more people would take the time before going full time, if not for their own self being at least for the self being of others in a simular place. Yes this may sound judgmental but when its needed to be known that I am transgendered I am judged by others that are in the same category I am. When I was in my in between stage I am sure I was far enough to go full time...I  had people argue with me believing I was woman when telling them I was a man. I am self employed...my last 3 jobs I booked...I thought I booked as a man only to find out they thought they hired a woman named S*** (only a mans name) Yes, this did convince me to go full time but still never boosted my confidance. I needed more confidance but even more I felt I needed to radiate more of a womanly ora.  Even after two years full time I think I am close to radiating mostly female.

Shelly

Quote from: Just Shelly on April 06, 2013, 11:51:00 PM
I needed more confidance but even more I felt I needed to radiate more of a womanly ora.  Even after two years full time I think I am close to radiating mostly female.

My roommate is a guy that used to not "get" us. He drunkedly said tonight to the guy he's dating that I'm the one that changed how to look at us. After living with me for almost a year, he knows me very well... he's always saying "You're way too hard on yourself" when I have my insecure moments... and he's right. And I think it might be the same for you.

I think there are lots of transsexuals out there that need to "transition" just to see what it's like and see if that life is for them. It might not be... but try not to get too far into it before you figure it out. There are a few out there that get FFS and SRS and look absolutely amazing, but decide it's not for them. We were at the house of the guy my roommate was dating and told me about a friend like that, showed him pictures. He said he always told this person that they weren't a girl, they were a flamboyant gay person that likes to wear girl clothes and have sex a lot. 5 years into full time this person is apparently suicidal and wanting to go back to being a boy.

Full time is not for everybody but we need to try it so we know who we are. The big no no is going to fast into it and not listening to what people are telling you. All we are doing is turning into ourselves, it shouldn't be too hard and big of a deal if you have time to figure yourself out first! I used the first few months on HRT to break barriers.. say things I never would've said and be proud not to be masculine at first, lead from that and be proud to be "girly"... openly "gay" ... then finally when people were calling me she and her when we'd had little waiting room chit chats when I was wearing baggy pants and a boys shirt, supporting a big ol 5 oclock shadow... I knew it was time to go full time.