Hey everyone, I'm in the process of coming out to my family and friends. It's going well so far, but it's got me wondering, what is next? I am sure about how I feel. I was born a woman, but have not and will not identify as a woman. Transition may well be in my future, but for these first months of exploring the options, do you have any advice? When you began seriously considering transitioning, what did you think about? Also, I feel like I am thinking and talking about being trans all the time. Is that normal? Is there a good way to inform my cis friends on trans issues? My goals for first steps as a newbie transguy are to get hooked up with other folks in my community, strengthen the supports I already have, and do some serious soul searching about what I need to be happy. Does anyone have any thoughts or anything to add? What was it like when you came out?

Hey Adam,

I am in the beginning stages myself, so I can't answer all your questions.

As for what is next, only you can decide.  Are you transgender or are you transsexual?  Do you feel the need to transition or do you believe you can continue living as your birth sex happily?   Who are you and how do you wish to be seen and treated by others?  These aren't the only questions, but they are some important ones.  Only you can discover this, but getting a trained gender therapist could help you in a large way.  Another thing that will help is going to support groups and talking to others in the trans community.  These steps may help you discover yourself and grow more comfortable with you journey, but remember it is your journey and only you can define it. 

I considered transitioning before, but the first time around I was young (19) and was very scared.  I was too insecure and frightened of social rejection  so my thoughts were more of fear than anything.  But, I didn't do the right things and kept it all to myself.  Now, I am in my early to mid twenties and have gained the confidence and security that I needed to start being me.  Now my thoughts are not so focused on fear, but rather on how I can make my dreams come true .  Like, how should I realistically go about it all.

I think it is normal to think about.  This is a big part of you and you're making a taking a big step in your life.  Of course you will be thinking about it often.

Lastly, is there a reason you feel the need to come out to everyone before making the decision to transition?  If you feel the need to tell everyone, that's great.  However, most people who do so usually have the intention of transitioning.  It seems to me that you really desire to take that step from what you said, but I know you are just exploring at the moment.  Personally, I would suggest making sure you know what step you want to take before telling others.  I feel the best way to come out is when you show confidence in your identity and your plans. Generally, family can be tough and you want them that you know what you're doing and have made up your mind on what path you will take. Nonetheless, this is a personal decision and it's up to you. I myself came out to friends before making the decision to transition, so I can relate with your desire to come out.   It's nice when friends use the correct pronouns and treat you correctly.

I am also in my beginning stages of this. Somedays I have doubts I'm doing the right thing, but I hear that's fairly common.

I think you've already taken your first big step. It sounds like you've already transitioned in your heart, and you're just starting to come out to others about it. What I started doing was making small steps.. got my hair chopped shorter than usual.. lol bought boxers.. started letting the inner me out, I've told most of my friends, taken on a male name, etc. The thing I'd suggest doing next is talking to a therapist who specializes in areas of transgendered things. I hear you need a therapist's approval to get on T anyhow. Or at least start seeing one while you come out to everyone you feel you need to tell.

That's my suggestion anyways.