Quote from: EmilyMI on April 11, 2013, 02:43:05 PM
A friend of mine (the one who went out with me on that shopping trip) thought I was putting negative energy out; which could have been the reason why I was clocked.

I wouldn't let it bother you it was your first time out! You may have been carrying yourself in a defensive or nervous way that got you clocked. If that was the case I wouldn't be concerned you'll get more comfortable with the way you are presenting the more you go out as yourself.

Why do I suspect these "Women"were but a couple of teenagers?

A had a few similar experiences like that in my early 20's during my experiments. The sad part of them were how I let those negate all the positive outings I had.

I hope you don't put off trying again for 30+ years as I did. If you don't belong to a TG group or groups that will be a good place to begin building some self confidence and pick up some pointers. Sometimes jumping into the deep end of the pool is not a good way to learn to swim. Especially if you don't have the self-esteem and confidence or otherwise plain ole Attitude that makes up 90% of passing.

I get the ocassional long lingering stares. I have no way of knowing why. These days I attribute it to being 6 ft tall, thin, in makeup and a skirt, in an area filled with 5'8" obese women wearing at best jeans.

Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on April 11, 2013, 08:22:41 AM
Emily, I will tell you when the right time to go full time.

When you decide it is time.

May I add a caveat to this, though?

Don't let fear decide for you.

Quote from: JoanneB on April 11, 2013, 04:37:18 PM
Why do I suspect these "Women"were but a couple of teenagers?

A had a few similar experiences like that in my early 20's during my experiments. The sad part of them were how I let those negate all the positive outings I had.

I hope you don't put off trying again for 30+ years as I did. If you don't belong to a TG group or groups that will be a good place to begin building some self confidence and pick up some pointers. Sometimes jumping into the deep end of the pool is not a good way to learn to swim. Especially if you don't have the self-esteem and confidence or otherwise plain ole Attitude that makes up 90% of passing.

I get the ocassional long lingering stares. I have no way of knowing why. These days I attribute it to being 6 ft tall, thin, in makeup and a skirt, in an area filled with 5'8" obese women wearing at best jeans.

Actually no, the Woman in question looked like either high 20's or low 30's? I know I need to start going out more though and going to a local support group will be a good start for me to start getting confidence which I know is my biggest problem is with my self confidence/attitude.  I live in a small rural town so I do get looks which don't normally bother me at all.  The verbal (cruel) part is what really impact me though.

That is wierd. I now live in a rural WV small town (pop ~1500). Here is where I get the occassional  lingering looks. Back in m 20's when I lived within a stones throw of NYC is where ridicule ruled. Amazingly there a few other T's in the nearby area. For the most part I haven't heard of any instance like yours from them.

Maybe I am not so far out in the hicks as I think?

Quote from: JoanneB on April 12, 2013, 12:04:29 PM
That is wierd. I now live in a rural WV small town (pop ~1500). Here is where I get the occassional  lingering looks. Back in m 20's when I lived within a stones throw of NYC is where ridicule ruled. Amazingly there a few other T's in the nearby area. For the most part I haven't heard of any instance like yours from them.

Maybe I am not so far out in the hicks as I think?

Well to be fair to the city I live in - the mall I went to out shopping was located in a MUCH bigger urban area, so it was not the same city when I went out. 

Many of you girls are trying to decide what is best for another which is wrong, dead wrong. No I am not trying to me a b*tch but it's really up to the person to decide not someone else's place. I am only 4 months HRT and not at all beautiful, or even pretty to look at I think but I live full time and care not what others think because what matters is what I care and feel. I live in a really rough town and lot's of redneck mentalities all over but you know what.......if I live to be accepted by the masses then I am living for their desires or comfort level as far as blending goes. Today I was a super hot pink girl all day, my gatekeeper was like wow and you know what......it was nice but like I said to her, "I am living my life on my terms and I just don't care." I think I am beautiful I really do and you know why I believe this.......because a real woman's beauty starts from within not the outer shell or looks. But do I make any sense, I dunno.....should you listen too me, I dunno, but what I do know is this, "This is your one chance, one opportunity, one day at a time" Take a chance and believe in yourself.




Modified - Excessive font size

Quote from: Shelley Jo on April 25, 2013, 12:01:46 AM
Many of you girls are trying to decide what is best for another which is wrong, dead wrong. No I am not trying to me a b*tch but it's really up to the person to decide not someone else's place. I am only 4 months HRT and not at all beautiful, or even pretty to look at I think but I live full time and care not what others think because what matters is what I care and feel. I live in a really rough town and lot's of redneck mentalities all over but you know what.......if I live to be accepted by the masses then I am living for their desires or comfort level as far as blending goes. Today I was a super hot pink girl all day, my gatekeeper was like wow and you know what......it was nice but like I said to her, "I am living my life on my terms and I just don't care." I think I am beautiful I really do and you know why I believe this.......because a real woman's beauty starts from within not the outer shell or looks. But do I make any sense, Idunno.....should you listen too me, Idunno, but what I do know is this, "This is your one chance, one opportunity, one day at a time" Take a chance and believe in yourself.

Much easier said than done. Some of us seek approval from others for one reason or another or are concerned due to our jobs

Quote from: Tristan on April 25, 2013, 06:58:03 AM
Much easier said than done. Some of us seek approval from others for one reason or another or are concerned due to our jobs

Actually, it's quite easy. You just have to realise that no one needs another persons approval to be true to themselves.

decided to remove full post since I misread x_x

Quote from: Kelly-087 on April 25, 2013, 01:55:02 PM
I don't quite understand ?_?


You don't think we should tell others how they should live/when they should go full time? √

You live how you want, despite being in an un-accepting area? Kudos to you :3
but you're telling people that they should come out and live full time before they feel they are ready? ?_? I don't understand the logic.

wat is the point of the post?

I was responding only to Tristan's post. I was not suggesting any one should come out or do anything before they are ready. It was merely a comment that no one needs the approval of others.

QuoteI'm not ready to come out because Ive just started to look somewhat andro. I want to live as steatlh as I can~ Do you think that is wrong?  I don't want to be "That guy that kind of looked feminine and decided to start wearing a dress to work" To which, I probably would not keep my job, period because A) The terms of my employment are temporary for a few months. Which means they don't have to justify a reason to get rid of me. They can just say "Well, we chose other candidates for you, thanks for working for us" and B) I work with heavy customer interaction which means that if people are taken aback and sales visibly drop because people are too nervous to interact with me, there's another reason to just flat out get rid of me.

Although I do agree with you somewhat. I decided to be myself, not worry if I'm acting oddly. I don't think that freshly manicured and painted nails combined with a pink skirt makes us magically ourselves either.

Where did I say anything of the sort? I'm out and full time and rarely have painted nails or wear a skirt. I always have nicely manicured nails and did even before I transitioned.

QuoteI think we all need to decide when we feel we're ready to live full time. Some of us want to do it differently.. Some of us want and need more time on hormones and some of us just want to get out there.. and maybe not do hormones at all.

Again, all I was saying is the approval of others is not needed. The timing of various things is up to the individual, no argument there.

QuoteHere's where I'll probably lose some people. We (MTFs or FTMs) want the same rights as the gender we identify as. We want to be accepted. But groups of us want special rights. They don't want to blend in, they want to stand out. They just want their rights because their trans, and feel special because they are.. I know some people are going to bash me and get offended but I grow tired of how entitled our group can act.

I'm a woman, I need no special rights, nor do I ask for them.

I'm just sayin if you could lose your job over it and you don't want that then a better strategy might be needed. Which is why I said not so easy