I am very new to this. Running really scared and crying alot. I have had some really strange things happen. I
Smoke a pack a day, my nails are never clean I never brush my teeth. That was a week ago.
I now find myself doing things I never did. I brush my teeth  I freak if my nails aren't clean. When you go through heavy, traumatic situation like I have, a normal person will smoke more.       (  I QUIT SMOKING. ). Yeah quit
In the first week. What the hell is going on??? Is this normal?

Need more detail than that... I mean if you're willing to share. Though with what you've given us, I'd say everyone reacts to a situation differently. For you it seems to have just started taking better care of yourself, which is not a bad thing.

I am assuming that this has to do with your identity because of you earlier post.  If so, it is common to get anxiety when facing GID.  It's not easy to go through. In your last post you said you were going to speak with a gender therapist?  Have you made an appointment yet?  If you did, then relax and take solace in knowing that you are going to confront this with a professional.

Wishing you well

There are different intensities of trauma, just like one can scrape their knee when tripping...or crack their skull open (same fall, just different landings).

Emotional traumas are the same, what is "minor" to one person, might be "life-altering" to another...so yes, one might be heavily addicted to smoking, drugs, sex, etc...but a single severe event can change the wiring of the brain (and the mind's ability to interpret those inputs) to the degree that former habits are dropped, or that new habits are adopted.

There is no "normal" when it comes to healing from trauma. Some similarities, yes, but only in general patterns, not specific events and outcomes.

On December 12, 2012 I called a LGBTQ center ( Mazzoni in Philadelphia) and request an appointment to speak with a Social Worker and find out about HRT. From 12/5/2012 to 12/12/12 I was in a complete panic and my ability to deny being Trans* had ended and all these memories and emptions came at me. I could no longer be numb and put it out of my mind. I was in a complete panic. I even got additional life insurance ( I have a lot already) because it was a very tough time.

The hour or two I spoke with the Social Worker ( I circled the block 6 times before I could go in) was hugely emotional and I was physically and mentally drained. When I left the center I was walking on air and I felt so much relief. I had to interview ( over the phone) with the therapist that was recommneded to me. I was accepted and the next 4 months has been an awakining. Dealing with yourself and how you proccessed all the experiances in your life is difficult and the therapist, reading several great books and communication with friends here has allowed me to grow and be myself.

After 4 months I can say the future is what I will make it and for the 1st time I am heading into being myself and accepting me.

I hope you can get some help dealing with the issues you are having. If you feel overwhelmed call a hot line, e-mail, or do what ever you need to do to think through the tough time. Hugs.

Thanks for all the replies. It's really freaky when you are someone for 45 years, Then you're not.
Kind of hard to take.

Birth is always hard.

Keep in mind, though - you're you. Always have been, always will be. Just "you" is different than it was yesterday - more complete. And in the next few months/years, you can discover who you are.