Quote from: Edge on May 04, 2013, 11:06:07 AM
Haha. Today is Free Comic Book Day. Edge bought too many comics. Shark week also started a couple days ago. Gorrammit.
It doesn't matter how you act. A cis guy can be as androgynous acting as he wants without being called "not a guy." Why is it so hard for people to get it through their heads that it's the same for a trans guy? Sorry this is a pet peeve of mine.
If she already knew you were in a relationship and that you date people regardless of gender, why is she mad?
I was looking for Loki (Marvel) pictures for something and came across... fanart. "Cute" fanart. Did these fangirls miss the part about Loki being a supervillain? Even if they did somehow miss out on the fact that he's a supervillain, how did they miss the fact that he's a Norse god? Sure, he's a Marvel version (aka an alien), but still. Sometimes, I wonder if anyone else likes Loki for being Loki.
She still doesn't get that I'm not cis. I know it's bad to keep secrets, but no one's seeing me unclothed, relationship or not, so I just didn't say. The whole class sees me as male now so it's fine, and I don't think she would believe me about it unless I stripped naked to prove it. Like every other boy, I'm held up to that damned double standard of how to act. And I
do act like a stereotypical guy, except that I don't chase after girls or act completely inhuman towards them, even if they're aliens to me. Loki and I share that problem- I could be trying to talk about science and someone will start pinching my cheeks and go "OMG YOU'RE SO ADORABLE!!!" in that awful cooing voice that I hate. There's a mind in here and it often gets silenced because the body holding it isn't tall and looming.
But at least I pass to those kids. I had to take the SAT II subject tests today- not only did the registration ticket say "Gender: Female" (and who the hell put you in charge of telling me my gender anyway, collegeboard?), but even before I took it out of my supply bag I was misgendered left and right. People just looked at me and automatically assumed female without even knowing my name. The process of even getting to the test room was having my birthname called out as loudly as possible to a small auditorium of kids in dead silence, then having proctor after proctor move me around and practically scream female pronouns across the room to the other person. And the girls' bathroom was out of order, but yet my proctor made sure to tell me that on my break I should go use the girls' room. Not the restroom, not the bathroom, the GIRLS' room. I wanted to say something so badly but just couldn't, no one would have cared anyway. Happened again when I asked a security guard if there was a phone I could use when my mother was MIA after the exams, because all that stress clearly wasn't enough. She yelled about not wanting to see my ugly face because no one needs to see that stupid sad sack facial expression. I told her the tests were fine because she assumed they were all above my level and that's why I looked that way. She let me go upstairs on my own, but my key to open the building door decided to get jammed into a small part on the key ring. So I'm trying to unstick it, when someone yells my birth name from behind me, simultaneously giving me a heart attack and angering me even more. She just kept throwing it in there at the beginning and end of every sentence while I tried to help her get a stupid shopping cart in the door. The woman hasn't even spoken to me in years, but just couldn't let this opportunity go, now could she?
I finally got up into my own apartment and cried in the privacy of my room because I'd had enough. This doesn't happen to cismales. I should be a cismale. Ergo this shouldn't be happening. But it is, every single day. I don't know if people will ever just look at me and see male 100% of the time, or even most of the time. Here and there misgendering I can subtly correct, but not if people constantly do it. I don't even know what I can do to stop it because HRT is out of the question until 18 thanks to my loving mother, who claims to be saving me from myself.
I've been told it's my hair, after coming home I noticed that it was pretty much standing straight up in the back. Maybe it needs to be short in the back too, not a pixie cut like these obnoxious idiots keep saying would be so cute on "a girl like you", but a standard male haircut.
I want to punch a wall right now.
