Hi Contravene, I hope you don't mind one of the girls coming over to comment

I feel it is just a natural secondary consequence of being trans... If our bodies are incongruent with our minds, aligning them requires a desire to change.  In that desire and change, we look at the traits of other people, even if an impossible trait to change (like height).  Those traits are what are in harmony with what is inside.  I feel that is the jealously factor!

Kind of crazy though... Seriously, the dysphoria-jealously factor is ridiculous... It can go from the physical (like being jealous of someone's body) to even social situations (that I can't be a part of).  I try to push it out of my mind, but always comes back!

On a more serio note, after reading this, I have come to the conclusion that someone needs to make a switching machine for us MTFs and FTMs... That would be the day lol! We could have the perfect trade offs lol

Thanks for letting me intrude for that brief bit!

Same for me here. Whenever I see tall, masculine cis-guys, my dysphoria goes through the roof.
I'm only about 5'4" as well, and I generally look like a typical 12 year old boy. I don't talk much because when I do, I'm outed automatically. I can't pass once one syllable comes out of my mouth.

I notice this jealousy in myself much too much. Sometimes, I even get jealous of cis-women that have small breasts or naturally deep voices. But, most of all I get jealous of cis-guys who can just throw on a shirt without having to worry about binding and can walk around topless.

I don't get jealous too much anymore because I look how I want to look for the most part. The one thing I still get jealous about though is strength. Part of my job is building furniture and we load it into people's cars. The guy I work with most often is about 8 inches taller than me and 80 lbs heavier and is able to lift so much more than I can. I know I'm strong for my size (pull ups are a good indication of this) but it upsets me that no matter how much I train, I'll never be as strong as him just because of how small I am.

Remember that non trans guys get jealous of other guys too. A couple weeks ago, one of my guy friends told me he's jealous of my facial hair because he can't grow decent sideburns at age 24. Man did I love hearing that, put things into perspective. We all want something that someone else has at some point.

Oh yes, I'm really jealous of cisguys! In a rare case also ciswoman who look really manly, but as I'm pretty masculine myself (for a woman (though still not passable, most of the time )), I don't suffer from that too much.
But ooh... the cisguys...
I used to think I was straight (when still trying to identify as a girl) or gay (when I discovered and accepted I'm trans), because I ALWAYS notice guys. Always see how hot and awesome they are. See their bodies, faces, hair, muscles, voice (SEE a voice, hmmm no, I'm not a synaesthetic XD)... but later I found out that's all jealousy!
I was just analysing my thoughts as I saw those guys, and they weren't of the "Oooh, I wanna make out with him" type, more like "Ohh, damn, why is he so hot!? Why does he have EVERYTHING I want but DON'T have!?". When it comes to seeing hot girls I don't feel ANY jealousy at all. I just think "Whoah! What a nice looking girl!" in a more romantic sense. I never look at a sexy woman and think "DAMN! I want her body!"

Quote from: Erik Ezrin on May 08, 2013, 05:38:17 AM
I used to think I was straight (when still trying to identify as a girl) or gay (when I discovered and accepted I'm trans), because I ALWAYS notice guys. Always see how hot and awesome they are. See their bodies, faces, hair, muscles, voice (SEE a voice, hmmm no, I'm not a synaesthetic XD)... but later I found out that's all jealousy!
I was just analysing my thoughts as I saw those guys, and they weren't of the "Oooh, I wanna make out with him" type, more like "Ohh, damn, why is he so hot!? Why does he have EVERYTHING I want but DON'T have!?". When it comes to seeing hot girls I don't feel ANY jealousy at all. I just think "Whoah! What a nice looking girl!" in a more romantic sense. I never look at a sexy woman and think "DAMN! I want her body!"

Later I found out I'm the same in this. For a while I didn't know why I notice guys when I knew I'm attracted to girls. You pretty much answered it.

Some other thing I read somewhere a while ago is also that supposedly, people of the same sex are more likely to 'notice' the other sex.
Basically this would be because someone of the same sex might be a 'threaten' your chances to produce offspring and snatch your partner, while the other sex is more 'interesting'.
But yeah, I wouldn't know if this is correct. I haven't quite asked people about it.
And for transguys the feeling of jealousy would add up to that too.

As a genetic female who has yet to ever identify as male, I still ALWAYS have jealousy at others who have the features I truly desire.
Even larger men make me jealous because they ultimately have what I've always wanted.

I feel jealous of women who have large breasts for being so feminine, yet I also feel jealous of men who have the perfect man's voice or the perfect, trim beard. I just can't win this jealousy war. =____=

Let me also state that I have SEVERE BPD, so I get much more easily jealous over the little things. Like, I-want-to-slit-my-wrists-with-envy jealousy because I know I won't ever have those attributes.

Wow, so many replies! I know jealousy is a pretty common emotion, even for cis-gendered people too, but I never knew it could relate to dysphoria so much. Even though it sucks to experience it, I'm glad for all of the advice from everyone who has gone through or are going through the same thing.

I have experienced this quite recently. Ever since I moved in I have had the biggest crush on my college roommate who is a cis-guy.  When I found that he had been dating this girl for a couple of months it deeply impacted my dysphoria and still has today.  Seeing someone in a relationship in general hurts me because it is something that I believe I will never experience.  There is a girl who I have been becoming close too and between the stress and curiosity of that had triggered this depression once I found out about my roommate. So here I am being completely self centered and upset about my roommate dating because I like him and interested in this girl, both of which bring on dysphoria.