Quote from: RomulusBC on May 30, 2013, 11:46:26 PM
I feel like the main reason my mind wants me to become a man is because of all the straight girls I've fallen for throughout my life. I feel like if I was a guy, most of those relationships would've worked out. Has anyone else ever felt like this?

No sorry.

I see this as a relationship issue, not a trans issue. Consider that there's a lot of cisgendered heterosexual men out there who wish they were women just to get off with some of the 'hot' lesbians they see, but I'm sure none of them them would identify as trans or even think of transitioning.

I'm transitioning because I want to be able to function as myself in society and be perceived by everyone else as me - the person I am, not the person other people thought I was (male). I've never felt male, trying to be male made me feel sick and threw up a lot of anger and resentment.

My reasoning with relationships is similar to FTMDiaries

QuoteSure, I could attract guys very easily whilst presenting as female - and there are a heck of a lot more straight guys to choose from than gay guys. But the problem is that I don't identify as female. I can't be a 'woman' for them; it was tearing me apart. That's why I'm transitioning. Because I'm a gay man, irrespective of what chromosomes I might have.

I'm someone who doesn't get relationships on the basis of how I look or present myself, but who I am inside. I have personality in spades. Have no problems finding relationships with women, but not only am I unable to be a guy for them but if the energy changes and I'm not treated as a female I lose interest in the relationship and walk.

Pre-transition the only thing I've achieved is to break hearts. I'd end relationships when women either got too close or it started looking sexual. Sometimes without explanation (and I'm not proud of this by any means). Do you know how something like that can shatter someone's heart? I was also hurting myself at the same time.

And you really think transitioning is going to solve your problems?

Think again.

So yes, I identify as a lesbian. But here's the kicker. Technically it would be a same sex relationship, so it would be based on equality, and it's that equality which attracts so many lesbians into a relationship.

Only thing is, I'm not the same as a cisgendered woman, I'm a trans woman. There's always going to be that difference there, and I'm not sure whether I will ever be able to achieve that equality in a lesbian relationship.

Transitioning isn't honey and roses, even if it looks that way prior to transition. Yes you're becoming whole and starting to function as your true gender, but quite often that journey takes you into uncharted terrority and situations which you just don't have a clue about at the beginning.

Stuff which you think could be easier can often turn out harder and situations which you think are going to be better sometimes turn out to be worse than you anticipated.

Therefore it's not something you enter into without being sure in your own mind that you're doing it for all the right reasons.