Evening all, I'm currently in the navy, have been for almost 2 years now, and I'm currently stationed in Japan, which means access to phone numbers and resources is considerably more difficult since I have no way of communicating back home without being in a public place and overheard with regards to my conversations, which is why I came here. I guess my question is, are there any members here who have also dealt with being transgender in some branch of the military? I'm MTF and I'm not really sure what my options are, or who to talk to, and lately it's getting to the point where I'd really like someone to talk to without fear of losing my job. I haven't seen a therapist, or even started on the road to transitioning yet because I'm overseas. My family wasn't too supportive, they weren't OVERLY negative but they definetly pushed me against it, and I decided trying to explain to them I didn't choose this isn't going to work. I have a few friends who know but I rarely talk to them anymore since we've kind of grown apart since I left the states. Any help would be appreciated, I'm sort of at a loss as to what to do. :\

Hi Wynter and welcome.

WE have many members who did service, I presume you are USA navy? The members here cover every country their is.

I'm also aware of a number of members who are current in the services.

I' have no idea about the USA laws so I'll leave it to others to reply to specific questions. But at least you are no longer alone, so ask away and post away

Hugs and thank you for your service to your country.

Cindy

Thank you for the reply! Yes I'm currently in the US navy, and I'm not really sure what questions to ask to be honest, It's more of a general "I don't really know what to do now" kind of thing. I've looked around and people say to get in touch with a counselor or something, but for me that's not really an option since I'm not back home. Are there even any options available to me at the moment?

Well the standard is too talk to a psychologist or therapist.

I'm an Australian and live completely as me having hormonally and life transitioned a while back, so the circumstance of the USA navy is beyond my experience.

Are there psychs you can talk to? and would the conversations be confidential and not impact on your career?

Well normally talking to a navy counselor or chaplain is confidential, however because of the way GID is classified by the DMV, the military still recognizes it as a "disorder" and so the chaplains are not bound by the normal confidentiality they would be with other issues, and still could notify your chain of command if they wanted, and the common practice is to Admin-Discharge the service member who was diagnosed with it hence why I haven't told anyone in person, it's not something I want to risk here no matter how close I am with someone in person.

I totally understand.

The funny sad thing is that as a proportion there are probably more trans* people in the armed services as a percent than in general life.  Because many MtF try to prove themselves as men in the service as some hope to be 'cured'.

I personally know some soldiers who did great acts of valour in Afghanistan over the last few years who are MtF, they were 'brave' because they didn't care about living, as they could not accept themselves and life wasn't worth it

We are the bravest of the brave.

Never forget that

Cindy

If you have some privacy/leave there is the option of seeing a private therapist by Skype. Otherwise you have plenty of supporters here on Susan's.

I'm not military, I work in x-ray and electronic medical records, but growing up in a family of police officers and soldiers I can understand where you are coming from. There's just a cultural divide that it is difficult to put your finger on if you aren't from those services. It makes it difficult to find people to talk to if you have problems because it is seen as weakness and the fear is that it can get you fired or ridiculed. However I do believe that we have some former and active military folks here as well. They can help, we can help, you can get help. You can have friends here.

Keep us informed okay.

If you come out to your superior or to Navy psychiatrist/counselor they will discharge you....that is the sad reality...

You have two years before you can opt out and not re-enlist...If you do not plan to make a career in the Navy, then I would suggest you use the reminder of your duty time making a solid plan for you life after the Navy...

Agreed 100% with peky - two years is nothing (unless you want to get out now for other reasons.)

I'm learning quickly that this is a slow process, and nothing needs to be rushed into. With good support, and with patience, you can make some great plans for when you get out of the navy.

Thanks for your service - I truly mean that. I'm just sorry that I can't be thanking the real you for your service.

The gender therapist I see is based in Orlando, Fl but he does "Thera-Skype" http://www.drdavidbakerhargrove.com/servicesThera-Skype.php

My gender therapist is actually Ann Currier who works below him in his practice, she's awesome and everything she does goes through him - HRT referrals, etc. So both are really good. He and his husband I believe are both ex-Navy and he basically deals with only PTSD and LGBT clients. He's also supposed to have overseen 100+ transitions since he started his practice in the late 90's.

Bottom line... They have helped me tremendously!!!

Michelle, just out of interest, are you able to say roughly what your sessions cost (even a ballpark figure)? It's an interesting alternative, and the practitioners look great, but there was no mention of rates on their site.  Although if this is private info, please tell me to stop being nosey!

You're fine Without insurance, $100 for a one hour session. I do know though that they offer discounts but I'm not sure who qualifies. For example, full-time college students only pay $45. With insurance, I was paying a $10 co-payment. I'm sure with a military insurance provider that may not be an option unless they bill at something non-GID related.

Thank you for the replies everyone, I wrote down all the resources mentioned, unfortunately for me my contract was for 6 years, not 2, but I should still be able to figure something out, the goal currently for me is to save as much as I can for it. Thank you immensely for the support, I cannot express my appreciation enough. :]

If you decide to stay in the next 4 yrs for your enlistment, i'd not tell the navy you're trans, but i'd definitely start saving up $, as it's EXTREMELY useful if you decide to transition later. doctors, therapists, tests, hormones, hair removal, surgeries, clothes... gah I don't want to think about all that

HI Wynter,

I, like yourself was transgender and in the military. I served during the Clinton years,  when the "don't ask, don't tell" policy was really talked about allot by my fellow service members; I had a 4 year contract.

For me, the military was both easy because of the structured environment, and hard bacause I couldn't relate to anyone nor say anything about wanting to live as a woman or have a sex-change.

I made the best of it, saved allot of money, kept quiet, and was honorably discharged.

Hi Wynter,

I am currently in the Navy as well, and judging by your contract length, I have a feeling I have the same job as you but in the sub force.  After a lifetime of keeping everything inside I had a breakdown a month ago and ended up in the psych ward at an army hospital.  There I revealed for the first time in my life the gender woes.  The army doctors were surprisingly understanding on the subject and actually encouraged me to explore transitioning when I got out of the Navy.  They also got the Navy to pay for me to go to a civilian therapist once I got out of the hospital because no Navy doctors had experience with the issue.  I was placed on LIMDU for 6 months to be able to get therapy and start on medication.  Throughout my ordeal I had insisted that finishing my contract was important to me, and I could wait until after to transition.  I knew I would be submarine disqualified, but I thought I could at least serve my time in the surface fleet.  However, when I got out I had to talk to the security manager as my security clearance was revoked when I went to the hospital.  I was told I would need to disclose my diagnosis in order to get it back.  I showed him the paperwork which listed major depressive disorder and gender identity disorder.  He said the MDD was okay as long as a doctor cleared me at the end of my LIMDU period, but the GID was a problem.  He said unless I was open about it, he could not give me back my secret clearance as it was something I could be blackmailed with.  I said I wanted to fulfill my commitment, but would not feel safe working on a ship as openly transgender.  I was sent to a counselor and told that without the ability to have a clearance I did not have a future in the Navy and was scheduled for separation counseling.

So now I am stuck here in limbo.  The discharge process probably won't start until the LIMDU period is over and after that I am sure I will be discharged at the speed of the Navy.  While I wait, I am seeing two different therapists, one Navy and one civilian and in a weekly group therapy.  I am also doing boring odd jobs as part of a transient unit.  While they are sending me to a civilian therapist that specializes in gender dysphoria, I cannot do anything else.  I cannot take hormones, must keep my hair and body to male standards, etc.  I will say that throughout they have been very respectful about the subject, but based on my experience, if you want to finish your time keep quiet about it.  If you ever need somebody to talk to about it, message me and I'll give you a way to contact me.

Hope this helps.

A disastrous tactical and strategic error a lot of us made is to put transition before financial security...

Get a trade or education that affords financial security then get on with the business of transitioning

@ Skin...I seen folks on your situation, and you have my sympathies and best wishes