I honestly don't know what to do at this point..

Quote from: Malachite on June 07, 2013, 10:17:59 PM
I realize that no matter what surgeries I get or how much testosterone I take, or what I change my name to, I will never be a male since I was born a female.  That doesn't stop me from being a man though.

I think that is a defeatist attitude. I am a man AND I am a male. They go hand in hand. If someone identifies as trans (I know I am trans but it is not my identity) then I could understand where in your mind there is a separation.

I am not less than a cis male and I refuse to label myself as anything less than they are.

Quote from: Simon on June 07, 2013, 10:28:52 PM
I think that is a defeatist attitude. I am a man AND I am a male. They go hand in hand. If someone identifies as trans (I know I am trans but it is not my identity) then I could understand where in your mind there is a separation.

I am not less than a cis male and I refuse to label myself as anything less than they are.

I understand where you're coming from.

Quote from: Malachite on June 07, 2013, 10:31:59 PM
I understand where you're coming from.

Don't think I'm getting down on you. I just really want guys to start thinking of themselves as more than the lousy hand that was dealt to them.

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I'm thinking it's time to start saving to move. I hate moving but it'll be in between the College and my gf's work so less gas. It'll be closer to the city so less gas getting what we need. Closer to the Endo (that's right...less gas), and in a County where I can go to the clinic. I have no idea how I will get my brain/spine MRI next year if I don't get into the clinic. They're 3 grand for an hour scan, yikes.

I am thinking I wish it wasn't so rainy today, I'd really like to go down by the beaches this weekend. I guess I'll watch some Downton Abbey and knit at home instead.

Quote from: Simon on June 07, 2013, 10:43:58 PM
I'm thinking it's time to start saving to move. I hate moving but it'll be in between the College and my gf's work so less gas. It'll be closer to the city so less gas getting what we need. Closer to the Endo (that's right...less gas), and in a County where I can go to the clinic. I have no idea how I will get my brain/spine MRI next year if I don't get into the clinic. They're 3 grand for an hour scan, yikes.

I hate moving too, well, packing is what I hate. I am dying to move, I hate living here, but I think I should wait until I pass the bar and start making real money. I mine as well wait, so I can get a better apartment (or even house) instead of moving from one craphole to another.

Quote from: LearnedHand on June 08, 2013, 08:19:12 AM
I am thinking I wish it wasn't so rainy today, I'd really like to go down by the beaches this weekend. I guess I'll watch some Downton Abbey and knit at home instead.

Big Downton Abby fan here too! I get upset when the season series is over.

Quote from: LearnedHand on June 08, 2013, 08:19:12 AM
I hate moving too, well, packing is what I hate. I am dying to move, I hate living here, but I think I should wait until I pass the bar and start making real money. I mine as well wait, so I can get a better apartment (or even house) instead of moving from one craphole to another.

Logical, smart thinking. Stick with your plan! 

Quote from: LearnedHand on June 08, 2013, 08:19:12 AM
I hate moving too, well, packing is what I hate. I am dying to move.

We've decided to wait until the two week break in December from College to move. My gf works and is in College so it'll be easier on her that way. We have zero friends out here to help so moving for us is usually a back breaking two days.

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I'm thinking I'm worried about my gf. She had to go to the doctor today because her throat was swollen. It's her thyroid and now they want her to set up an appointment to have a biopsy Monday, I'm terrified.

Even the supervisor seems to be wanting me to manage a store, not sure which one, but still not sure I'm ready for that yet.

Quote from: Renee on June 08, 2013, 06:17:11 PM
Even the supervisor seems to be wanting me to manage a store, not sure which one, but still not sure I'm ready for that yet.

I know you're a can-do type of chickster, got faith in you girl! 

Quote from: Shantel on June 08, 2013, 06:55:32 PM
I know you're a can-do type of chickster, got faith in you girl! 

I'm just concerned that it could be kind of like sticking a target on my back though, lol.

Caleb passed 100% of the time here. Me?  No such luck. my landlord for instance referred to me as male, even though I clearly have breasts. I wonder, if I went to Canada, would I pass 100% there?

Doing stupid things with guy friends....if I had any.

I just remembered what Caleb said the last time we went swimming. when we got back, he said "WTF? you went swimming. in a pool of chlorinated water and you STILL smell nice! How is that possible?"

He likes the way I smell. All I could smell most of the time was his Old Spice Swagger. lol

Yeah, she smelled amazing all the time. =/ I usually smell of the Old Spice smell, but sometimes I sweat when I sleep so I smell like Old Spice laced with some sweat. And then she can spend like an hour in a pool and smell like perfume instead of chlorine.

Looking at my old post labeled "Too Early to Start Saving For Top Surgery?" where at the time I only had $299.85 saved up.  It's nice to see that I have  more than doubled that in over a year but now the prices have went up so where my goal was to save a nice $10 grand up, now it's $20 grand.

I highly doubt I will use all of it.  The rest is going towards Anime Expo no doubt.  Hey I got to celebrate the new chest somehow.

I hate Microsoft Windoze. I did a brand new install of Windoze 7 and it has internet connection issues right after doing a bunch of security updates. If people can build an OS that runs so smoothly like Ubuntu, for free, how is it Microsoft can't even make a half-decent OS that works?

Ugh, a 4 hour bus ride to get to my appointment...I really don't want to have to do this, I'm still tired and depressed from the long trip back from Indiana.

There's that part of me that still tells me not to go, to just forfeit the cost of the bus ticket and remember to plan better next time. But that's dumb. I'll arrive in Edmonton at midnight, which makes me very nervous. Hotels are nearby, so it really isn't a huge deal to just walk to one, but its scary to walk alone at night in an unfamiliar place.

Quote from: Keaira on June 09, 2013, 03:15:53 PM
I hate Microsoft Windoze. I did a brand new install of Windoze 7 and it has internet connection issues right after doing a bunch of security updates. If people can build an OS that runs so smoothly like Ubuntu, for free, how is it Microsoft can't even make a half-decent OS that works?

To be fair, most of the kernel developers these days are paid by some company or another.

Quote from: Malachite on June 09, 2013, 06:29:18 AM
now the prices have went up so where my goal was to save a nice $10 grand up, now it's $20 grand.

Yeah, that is a lot for top surgery. I'm saving up $8500 which is enough to go to Macphee in Raleigh or enough for travel, hotel, and surgery with Dr. G.

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I'm thinking I wish Obamacare would hurry up. Not for SRS, I seriously doubt it'll cover that (maybe some lab work or meds but nothing else), but for other things I need to get done.

Quote from: Simon on June 08, 2013, 08:39:24 AM
I'm thinking I'm worried about my gf. She had to go to the doctor today because her throat was swollen. It's her thyroid and now they want her to set up an appointment to have a biopsy Monday, I'm terrified.

I hope she's okay Simon. 

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I am thinking about what else I should eat, I have 600 more calories to eat today but I can't think of anything that I want to eat . And, I can't wait to hang my Navajo sand painting up in my office tomorrow, I have nothing on the walls currently and it's kind of prison like in there now, maybe it'll look more cheerful with the painting on the wall.