I relate to what girl you look fierce said, except that I don't think anyone has written off my issues or compared me to others. Not saying it couldn't happen but I do that to myself before giving anyone the chance.

Quote from: girl you look fierce on June 14, 2013, 10:45:55 PM
Feeling like there's no community for people like me.... don't get me wrong susan's is really helpful just sometimes I feel like my issues are written off or not taken seriously because they're compared to other trans people who just decide I'm "lucky." Well I don't have most trans problems but most cis women in my place would feel really bad about my problems, though most cis women would have no reason to worry about the things I do in reality.

So I can't entirely get support in the cis world (not cis enough problems) nor entirely in the trans world (not trans enough esp. physically), just feels like there's a disconnect somewhere and I'm in a weird category of my own.

I don't know, it's always hard to separate transition related problems from 'me' problems

I get it. I know. It's hard. I'm here for you.

Oftentimes I don't speak about issues going on in my life because I feel like I have no right to, because I'm already quite lucky... So then if I suffer, or if I have my own pain, because I'm still more fortunate than some others, it doesn't matter...

I've gotten to be okay with that though. I can keep Susan's a place where I always remain positive, and that's kind of beautiful as well. I'm quite resilient though, so maybe I have a higher pain tolerance than others, and don't mind just sharing my own troubles here and there (like with a friend or two once in a while).

I think my main issue is not having anyone to talk to. I'm still in the beginning of my transition and, even with the internet, there is still a lot questions I have. It feels like I'm the odd one out at times; it can be lonely.

Quote from: Schuyler on June 15, 2013, 01:14:17 PM
I think my main issue is not having anyone to talk to. I'm still in the beginning of my transition and, even with the internet, there is still a lot questions I have. It feels like I'm the odd one out at times; it can be lonely.

Believe me dear, you ain't odd. I know odd people and you are perfectly normal.

Quote from: Jess42 on June 15, 2013, 02:48:16 PM
Believe me dear, you ain't odd. I know odd people and you are perfectly normal.

Thank you. I have my days, though, where I struggle with fitting in. It's nice to know I have a place here.

Quote from: Schuyler on June 15, 2013, 06:53:18 PM
Thank you. I have my days, though, where I struggle with fitting in. It's nice to know I have a place here.

I think everyone struggles to fit in. I've given up and now live in my own little world.

Some others have said it.  my issue...I don't know if I will ever feel normal.  I know I will never be happy as a guy ever again.  I'm not sure if I'll ever feel completely comfortable as a woman.  Maybe if I get to where I pass 100% of the time.  But one dirty look at the grocery and I'll feel like s**t for a week.

My heart is made of glass.

My awful awful voice.

Ill either find it miraculously one day.... get vocal cord surgery... or become a mute forever.

Im currently leaning towards number three.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 16, 2013, 02:53:38 PM
My heart is made of glass.

Also very much this.

Quote from: Jess42 on June 16, 2013, 11:04:20 AM
I think everyone struggles to fit in. I've given up and now live in my own little world.

That is probably one of the truest statements I've heard, and I think my world is still under construction.

Quote from: JulieC. on June 16, 2013, 02:16:05 PM
Some others have said it.  my issue...I don't know if I will ever feel normal.  I know I will never be happy as a guy ever again.  I'm not sure if I'll ever feel completely comfortable as a woman.  Maybe if I get to where I pass 100% of the time.  But one dirty look at the grocery and I'll feel like s**t for a week.

I don't understand why you'd get dirty looks? You're a woman minding her own business. You have the mind of a woman and even the face of a woman. Those people may not be giving you dirty looks for the reason you think they are. 

Quote from: Jess42 on June 16, 2013, 11:04:20 AM
I think everyone struggles to fit in. I've given up and now live in my own little world.

Actually as long as I don't Notify anyone of the fact  that I am trans, then I fit in perfectly, the only reason I ever had a hate crime committed against me was a man tried to rape me and he got me undressed and once my clothes were off he saw I was pre-op then he proceeded to try to beat me to death, before that he only wanted to rape me.

the only real intolerance I get from a few of my neighbors is due to the fact they don't like me being a lesbian.

Quote from: vegie271 on June 18, 2013, 06:41:34 PM


Actually as long as I don't Notify anyone of the fact  that I am trans, then I fit in perfectly, the only reason I ever had a hate crime committed against me was a man tried to rape me and he got me undressed and once my clothes were off he saw I was pre-op then he proceeded to try to beat me to death, before that he only wanted to rape me.

the only real intolerance I get from a few of my neighbors is due to the fact they don't like me being a lesbian.

There are always gonna be ultra violent and metally dreanged people in the world no matter what. Either way, a beating or rape and then a possible beating, this guy is one of the "really something not quite in the brain" types.

Quote from: Schuyler on June 16, 2013, 11:43:34 PM
That is probably one of the truest statements I've heard, and I think my world is still under construction.

Just make sure you try to build it to your own specifications Shuyler.

my main issue? not having a childhood, or even a normal mid-high school life I quit at 16, because of my feelings and being unable to get to school on time, I later got a ged and went to college.
secondary main issue- not feeling I could come out sooner.
I finally 3rd issue concurrently fricken dilation!!!!!

My mind is kind of split into two "personalities" at the moment which confuses me.

My main issue is that I didn't realize that I was who I am when I should have done, before getting myself into a marriage with kids and really being about as stuck as one can get.

I should have done this twenty years ago, not now. One can never start to think about these issues too early in life. But I can either dwell on that (which I tend to do), or I can plan for the future (which I am starting to learn how to do.)

As far as trans-specific practical issues, I have none - other than being an average-looking guy who makes a very ugly and unattractive female right now! I'll start working on the outside once I've got the inside sorted out.

Quote from: girl you look fierce on June 19, 2013, 09:18:51 AM
16... I quit at 12 so much regret. Well quit is the wrong word but yeeeep I only got to experience 1 mo of middle and 0 of high school.

Think it does make it a lot harder to identify with some people somehow...

I agree, and I had 0 years of high school as well, at about 13 maybe 14 my life was an extremely jumbled mess of mental hospitals , not being able to identify with anyone, juvenile hall, state med eval, safe house's and moving by the time I made it to 16 I was still in the 7th grade and felt very alone with no friends and what felt like my mother not wanting anything to do with me definitely not the highlight of my life, it was really lucky I survived , and is a part of my past I wish never happened, definitely made a very large scar on me.   

Quote from: CalmRage on June 19, 2013, 10:09:42 AM
My mind is kind of split into two "personalities" at the moment which confuses me.

I've had this happen a lot. It got so bad that I started wondering if it was possible to end up with a split personality disorder just from living the two lives. I still don't know the answer to that, so the only clear choice was to push forward and let them recombine!

Well, upon reading most of this, I'd say the cost. I don't intend to get SRS (unless I hit the freakin' powerball), but I never realized electrolysis cost so much. The cost of therapy I can handle, to a degree. Even the HRT I could do, though my therapist said my insurance should cover it. But electrolysis, holy moly. I'd kinda hope to just do my face, but I'm gonna need a second job for just that.