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When did you know it was right to go fulltime

Started by Girl Power, April 06, 2013, 07:28:21 AM

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Joanna Dark

Quote from: Jennygirl on May 18, 2013, 06:32:40 PM
I went full time when I realized I was full time. It just sorta happened and one day I was like... Wait a second... I'm full time!

You and me both! I'm pretty much full-time now and I don't think I really have a choice in the matter anymore. I don't think I pass as a guy at all. It's GREAAAAAT!
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SarahLJP

I just recently started living full-time. Like a number of the girls in this thread went full-time when I was passing in guy clothes. I hadn't gotten a 'sir' in over 2 months. I've wearing a bra for a while too. Before I even started HRT though I bought some skinny jeans that boosted my confidence and probably helped me pass when I wasn't trying. I took the leap just after my 31st birthday. I used to constantly worry about what complete strangers thought about me. I couldn't care less what they think now. It feels really good to shed those insecurities. I still worry about my voice a little. I think it's good enough for now and I'm making progress in improving it.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 06, 2013, 08:36:11 PM
Deprogramming things you have ingrained into your brain for years takes a lot of learning.

I didn't need much deprogramming. I never tried to act male. I think I'd been more neural in my behavior than anything else.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 06, 2013, 08:36:11 PM
For the record, I don't pass in like 80% of the photos I take of myself. Yall just see the 20% good.

True, I think I pass better in person than I do in photos. Cameras hate me. I think It's a conspiracy of the camera makers. JK ;D


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JenAtLast

There is a helluva lot of wisdom to be found on this thread.  Going FT?  Just like hormone changes, I believe YMMV.

I am roughly a half-year into HRT and have impulsively thought a few times "today's the day I go to HR".  But sometime within the past month or two, it has occurred to me that my mental planning on all this was on a pre-described plan of what I was supposed to do.  I don't know the date it happened, but it finally occurred to me that just taking the HRT, letting my hair grow, working on my female presentation, ALL of it...was a work in progress that only had a time limit that I'D impossed on it. 

That realization has given me a since of peace and calmness.  I'm not worried about how soon or delayed someone else transitioned because they are not me, and therefore did not have the same situation/success/failure/mental state/etc. that I have.  I am simply happy every day to finally be working on the me I always wanted to be.  That in and of itself is huge!

More to the point, let your own mind/heart be your guide.  You know better than anyone what is likely or unlikely to be the next step.  Good luck to you on your journey...I hope you have a bright and prosperous one!  :)
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kyh

Quote from: Jen I am on May 26, 2013, 07:01:23 PM
There is a helluva lot of wisdom to be found on this thread.  Going FT?  Just like hormone changes, I believe YMMV.

I am roughly a half-year into HRT and have impulsively thought a few times "today's the day I go to HR".  But sometime within the past month or two, it has occurred to me that my mental planning on all this was on a pre-described plan of what I was supposed to do.  I don't know the date it happened, but it finally occurred to me that just taking the HRT, letting my hair grow, working on my female presentation, ALL of it...was a work in progress that only had a time limit that I'D impossed on it. 

That realization has given me a since of peace and calmness.  I'm not worried about how soon or delayed someone else transitioned because they are not me, and therefore did not have the same situation/success/failure/mental state/etc. that I have.  I am simply happy every day to finally be working on the me I always wanted to be.  That in and of itself is huge!


More to the point, let your own mind/heart be your guide.  You know better than anyone what is likely or unlikely to be the next step.  Good luck to you on your journey...I hope you have a bright and prosperous one!  :)

I'm really loving your post.
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Jennygirl

Quote from: girl you look fierce on May 27, 2013, 04:34:15 AM
Sorry I didn't mean to be confusing, I am on HRT now. Though it felt like I was not on HRT for the first year of FT anyway (and with my levels I basically wasn't).

I still made progress though. I look at pre-FT pics and see such an amazing difference despite not having really very many low-level changes at all. Part of that is because my old camera sucked (lol) but... it's not just that entirely :)

But yeah, presentation is SOOOO important. So so so important. Way more than HRT IMO. There is so much you can improve about your appearance without HRT. You can go FT much more comfortably from any physical starting point with good presentation.

:)

Yes, I could not agree more about presentation! And it also takes the most real work during a transition. Everything else is as easy as showing up to a doctor's office, going to a laser/electrolysis place, or sitting on the butt recovering from surgery. Presentation is really where most all of my effort goes into.

Obviously everyone is different.. whether they can be comfortable enough to go FT just from presentation alone or if they need some changes from hormones, too. Girl you look fierce, I think you are just incredibly lucky, honestly ;D
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smile_jma

I'm not there yet because of my voice, though I'm sensing I'm going to be publicly forced to soon because while having only been on hrt for 4 months-ish, I had gotten mamed many times before in the past years because of the long hair. At the time still had a 3 o'clock shadow (yah, it was fast). That was from people looking at me in the bathroom washing my hands, and SOMETIMES from the front.   I went to a group thing a few weeks ago where people are learning English, and EVERY one of them either thought I was a girl (until I opened my mouth) or wondered what I was (..they told me that..which was kind of weird). Mind you, my voice is stil SUPER deep and the apple is visible.  What does it? Maybe the long hair and the sorta fem hairstyle (asian swoop bangs, ponytail is kinda high), regular guy t, and womens skinnies. No makeup either, but I don't have good skin...makeup is needed as well as a brow trim.  I guess once I get my voice down it can happen in public, but the company I work at is super small. Scary.

All of the male workers (including the owner/manager) went to a coworkers house and the mother of that co worker called me mam in front of everyone. Hm, they thought it was funny, I tried to keep a straight face, my mind was "alright!'  though getting mamed in front of your boss and coworkers when they don't know and for the first time (in their company) is quite embarrassing.
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Jennygirl

Quote from: smile_jma on June 17, 2013, 04:56:54 AM
I'm not there yet because of my voice, though I'm sensing I'm going to be publicly forced to soon because while having only been on hrt for 4 months-ish, I had gotten mamed many times before in the past years because of the long hair. At the time still had a 3 o'clock shadow (yah, it was fast). That was from people looking at me in the bathroom washing my hands, and SOMETIMES from the front.   I went to a group thing a few weeks ago where people are learning English, and EVERY one of them either thought I was a girl (until I opened my mouth) or wondered what I was (..they told me that..which was kind of weird). Mind you, my voice is stil SUPER deep and the apple is visible.  What does it? Maybe the long hair and the sorta fem hairstyle (asian swoop bangs, ponytail is kinda high), regular guy t, and womens skinnies. No makeup either, but I don't have good skin...makeup is needed as well as a brow trim.  I guess once I get my voice down it can happen in public, but the company I work at is super small. Scary.

All of the male workers (including the owner/manager) went to a coworkers house and the mother of that co worker called me mam in front of everyone. Hm, they thought it was funny, I tried to keep a straight face, my mind was "alright!'  though getting mamed in front of your boss and coworkers when they don't know and for the first time (in their company) is quite embarrassing.

Imagining myself in your shoes gives me butterflies in the stomach. Thanks for sharing. It's pretty cool even if it was embarrassing.

I would imagine it's the subtle changes of HRT combined with long hair. And after 4 months I would imagine you've got a few things going on under your shirt that might suggest "maam" as well? ;)
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smile_jma

Actually, only if I wear a tight T are they visible and because of problem inside the neck ;) I try to hide them.  They're tiny. My mom's are tiny, so go figure. Also, when we went to that coworker's house, I was only on for a month, so basically no changes. I think it was the hair and the small structure.

I honestly only see guy in my face. Maybe because its me. I'll see what I can do about the face pic. The last few self shots I took were really bad. I'm more of a privacy freak, but w/e. If I go out in public, there' no diff, is there? ;)  I'd rather send it personally. 

I prefer to wear the hair down, but thanks to WIND, it gets all tangled whenever I walk. Maybe I should slow down to a snails pace while walking.

Side note: My mom texted me today "Should I start referring to you as she? let me know when"  which is nice.. but I'm not ready yet. So, that's going to have to wait when she talks to family friends.  Kind of along the lines of public pressure to FT sooner than ready. I can't with this ->-bleeped-<-ty voice of mine.
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Girl Power

Hi everyone

I thought I'd let you all know that I came out to work last Thursday. I've been wanting to do it for weeks but in the end it was unplanned. I decided about half through the day to write a letter to work and sat down with one if the bosses in the afternoon. He was shocked but understanding. Their taking a really professional approach to it and I will be completely full time as Emma when I go back to work in early July.

I'm so relived its done its like a huge weight has been lifted off me

Thanks much to everyone at Susan's for your advice it's helped so much

Emma
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kyh

Quote from: Girl Power on June 18, 2013, 08:41:50 AM
Hi everyone

I thought I'd let you all know that I came out to work last Thursday. I've been wanting to do it for weeks but in the end it was unplanned. I decided about half through the day to write a letter to work and sat down with one if the bosses in the afternoon. He was shocked but understanding. Their taking a really professional approach to it and I will be completely full time as Emma when I go back to work in early July.

I'm so relived its done its like a huge weight has been lifted off me

Thanks much to everyone at Susan's for your advice it's helped so much

Emma

That is wonderful! And so great that you can be full time so soon! I bet you'll really flourish now :)
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Tessa James

Emma's wonderful news and shared experience is another good look at transitioning and how we feel about it.  I did not feel it was "right" to go full time, I just knew I could not go back to acting like a man and keep my sanity.  I waited too long and repressed myself too well and when I finally accepted being trans I was full time the next month without HRT support.   
Thank you to those inclusive supporters who recognize full time is not necessarily about passing.  I will probably never be that passable and feel just fine about becoming that more feminine person of my shadows and dreams.  I love my new girly clothes but its whats between my ears that allows me to be a comfortable and proud transgender person.

Tessa James
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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smile_jma

I'm terrified of telling coworkers, especially since 90% of them are male. Good for you.
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Elanore joey

it time to go full time when you feel cant carry on as male. i havnt started hormones yet (thinking about just anti androgen for about september time) and im struggling to use mens toilets or changing rooms now so disabled toilets at the moment for me, every evening when im on my own im practicing speech exercises. my biggest problem is being female in my home town where people know me but every weekend we go shopping 35 mile down the road where no one knows me and i feel 100% comfortable and confident as a female (you should see the massive smile on my face every weekend when we go out)
we are all beautiful in our own way its just some people don't see it :-*
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LauraGirl

Before setting a date of my first day of RLE, I had a half year of laser hair removals done. I followed speech therapy and commenced to use it the first day of my RLE contineously with a lot of ups and downs.

Prior to my RLE, I also had some mini-RLE's done as experiment.

I believe it would help your RLE if you had finished your speech therapy and at least a few sessions of laser hair removal done. It might help you a lot (it did to me!)


Rachel84

I went fulltime as soon as I graduated from school.  I would get ma'amd quite often in male mode, but finishing school and living in a different country kept me from going fulltime.  Once I graduated and moved back to Canada, I came out to the rest of family and friends I hadn't told at that point, and have been fulltime since.
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