I am 22 years old, and pre-everything. I don't know if this is a common problem, or if I am just screwed up. So, here goes:

While having sex, I can't get to the point of orgasm. I can get close, but can never fully get there. While doing a DIY job, however, I can. I know that not having the right body is always screaming in my mind, and the mental circus I have to go through to get release is ridiculous. But I also don't want this to harm my relationship, which I am starting to think may one day lead to marriage. I know that it isn't all about sex, and that the person should love me no matter what. However, I know it hurts her, even though I have assured her that it isn't anything wrong on her end. My body just won't cooperate, nor will my mind. Is there anything I/we could try doing to help? Am I alone in this problem? I feel terrible about it. She is also transgender, adn the T-blockers, etc. are what gives her issues. I have no excuse for this...

I have the same problem. It's why I've stopped dating altogether. However, might I suggest some roleplay? If you can DIY, then obviously there's some fantasy that works for you. Maybe acting it out will work.

When you can't get the beat right, it may be time to play a different instrument.

And remember the option of silence.

For me, while being uh. . .stimulated, I have to play this mind game of "You have guy parts" and not think about the fact that I really don't yet. We have tried many ways, and even used a vibrator. Sometimes even a DIY job doesn't work because I can't get around the fact that there are female parts thee when there shouldn't be.