I need to start being a lot cheaper. =/ While I have a bit stored away in savings, I have a lot more things I want to save for. I want to go back to Indiana before 2013 is over, I want driver's ed, I want to save for a down payment and a car...lol.

The news weather forecast said yesterday that we might break this summer's lightning/thunder record with hundreds of bolts around whole country, accompanied with heavy downpours that might cause slight flooding in city areas.

Well, earlier today some wiser people decided it was a good idea to issue a warning via tv (we have this nifty system that shows a warning on all Finnish channels in case of emergencies etc). It was about strong thunderstorms and of course it included the area I live in.
My fiancé also said there might be gusts of wind as strong as 30m/s (about 67mph), too... That's enough to tear roofs of from flimsy buildings!

I have a feeling our cat's been all ants in the pants because of the incoming storm.

Quote from: Tossu-sama on June 27, 2013, 09:30:16 AM
The news weather forecast said yesterday that we might break this summer's lightning/thunder record with hundreds of bolts around whole country, accompanied with heavy downpours that might cause slight flooding in city areas.

Well, earlier today some wiser people decided it was a good idea to issue a warning via tv (we have this nifty system that shows a warning on all Finnish channels in case of emergencies etc). It was about strong thunderstorms and of course it included the area I live in.
My fiancé also said there might be gusts of wind as strong as 30m/s (about 67mph), too... That's enough to tear roofs of from flimsy buildings!

I have a feeling our cat's been all ants in the pants because of the incoming storm.

Cats, dogs and other animals are really sensitive to barometric changes and they usually know about impending changes ahead of us. My dog can sense an earthquake before it happens and other than the level of the water changing in the toilet bowl, he's the one to watch.

Usually I hated reading in high school (I still hate reading now), but the two books I enjoyed the most were The Scarlet Letter and 1984....definately 1984.  I'm glad we had to read 1984 because all of the references people make to it nowadays.

Alex Jones and Infowars

My mother makes me feel uneasy when she talks about how she don't support gay rights because in of the Bible. She has her interpretation and I respect that, but the part that concerns me is that if she's so quick to be against homosexuality, it makes me wonder how could I ever come out to her as transgender and expect to continue living there?  Gosh, maybe I will need a backup moving plan just in case.  When I start working, that may be a crucial time for me to start networking and making friends.  Push comes to shove, I know I will have 12 grand to help start a new life if need to.  Considering that's the bulk on my top surgery fund, I wouldn't be too happy but hey, I guess I just have to do what I need to do and rebuild it if needed.

Whenever my grandpa does something that annoys me, my mind goes back to a ton of the stuff he's said about me that was...well, in no way the appropriate manner to refer to your "granddaughter." While it doesn't bother me the way it used to, I hate knowing there's these little wounds that can be reopened even after years have passed.

In giving it some hard thought, I also came to realize that my bad experiences with men in my family are the reasons why I hate when people glorify bad stereotypes about men, or fondly joke about them. I absolutely hate when people expect me to act like an aggressor, or to be more overtly sexual, dirty, loud, etc. While most men may be harmless even when they do fulfill these stereotypes, the fact is, the reason that so many men have been able to hurt me is because "that's what guys do" and everyone just accepts it like it's OK. And it's not. Even men in my family were allowed to make sexual comments about me when I am a blood relative, men have bee able to become physically violent with me, etc, because people say that's how men are and that it's not an issue. Well, it is.

Besides that, I'm a guy and I'm not like that. I never will be. but people seem to see me as less of a man because of it, as if I am somehow a lesser person than those who've left me with mental and emotional scars. I'm sick of it.

Quote from: Shantel on June 27, 2013, 09:51:08 AM
Cats, dogs and other animals are really sensitive to barometric changes and they usually know about impending changes ahead of us. My dog can sense an earthquake before it happens and other than the level of the water changing in the toilet bowl, he's the one to watch.

Animals are probably more reliable than weather forecasts. Well, that depends on what channel's forecast we're talking about, there really are some differences although they all get their information from the same source... Wut.
It's just pretty weird because our cat hasn't usually reacted to any incoming thunders, he's not even scared of fireworks. On the new year's eve when people were going nuts over fireworks and there was popping and banging everywhere, he just wanted to go out to see what's going on. :'D

Anywho, we didn't really get much of the storm here. I saw few flashes of light but no actual bolts. We did get a heavy downpour, though.

Almost pride weekend!! Cannot wait. Having trouble sleeping

Quote from: Sara of the River Rhine on June 28, 2013, 09:40:38 AM
If there'd be a button to magically make me into a girl, i'd press it and yet i'm confused.+

Oh, and i tried to jump out of a high window today.

Are you going to be OK, Sara?

I'm worried for you.

Quote from: Sara of the River Rhine on June 28, 2013, 09:56:26 AM
I'm not. I want to die and i don't know where i belong, yet i desperately cling on to being Sara. I informed my shrink about this. I need help.

Sara,
We're all here for you. No matter how bad things get. Don't give up - it really does get better, and you'll thank yourself someday for sticking to life and your dreams.

a shirt

I need to find more stuff in my room to sell.

I'm thinking the postman is never going to bring my letter. That's 17 days since the blood test. I want Ostrogen and I want it now! BRING ME MY LETTER!! Grrrrrrrrr.

I hope my father doesn't make it a habit of calling me to track every debt collector number.  It's not like he plans on calling them back.

Ack, Pride is in two days and I have no idea what my plans are or who I'm going with.

I am probably not going to post here for a few days. I need some time to clear my mind up. Am coming back though.

Just got an email from my shrink, however i am once again questioning the validity of my feelings.

I wish my downtown area celebrated Pride week.  :/

I wish I was in a good position to come out. :/ I hate keeping it in.