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New :) I need your help and support

Started by stavraki, May 22, 2013, 10:05:42 PM

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stavraki

Hi there,

I'm new, overwhelmed, and trying to figure out what's what in a big new world.  Though i'm male, I've lost my genitals and am seeking your help with surgical advice, and resources about how to get it done right.

I've seen some outcomes that make me wanna scream and go run hide.  And some that look really great.  I've been talking to the Serovic Foundation, and about to head over there for surgery (a doc Djinovic, Professor Perovic's colleague and replacement since the professor died).

What I'm most worried about is the glans.  It sometimes just comes out really bad....where do I go to here to chat about that, and to connect with people and supports.

cheers
stav
Courage is fear that hasn't said its prayers yet
You don't have to forgive others because they deserve it.  Forgive them because you deserve peace

Fear of others is reminding you that you are in danger of becoming what you hate
Fear of self ensures that you don't become what you hate
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Ms. OBrien CVT

Hi stav, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 11331. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )


Janet  )O(

  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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stavraki

hey there janet, thanx so much for that, I appreciate it.  Feel a little better already.....I'll have a look at the stuff you suggested and my kind regards
Courage is fear that hasn't said its prayers yet
You don't have to forgive others because they deserve it.  Forgive them because you deserve peace

Fear of others is reminding you that you are in danger of becoming what you hate
Fear of self ensures that you don't become what you hate
  •  

Alaia

Hiya Stavraki!

While I'm not sure I know much about the questions you have and advice you seek, I definitely know how it's like to feel overwhelmed. Stick with it, I'm certain you'll find the answers you're looking for.

*Hugs*

~Alaia~



"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray."

― Rumi
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Cindy

Hi Stavraki,

Welcome Hon,

I'm not too sure about what info you are seeking in your first post but I'm sure we can help out.

I'm unclear what you mean about losing your genitals, there may be a language problem but we can overcome that.

If you mean you had an accident and is there sufficient material to allow for a good SRS outcome I may be able to help.

I was partially castrated as a teen during a sex attack, but I've been told that there is no reason I cannot have a successful operation.

So never give in and never say never!!

Hugs and Welcome

Cindy
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gennee

Be who you are.
Make a difference by being a difference.   :)

Blog: www.difecta.blogspot.com
  •  

stavraki

ur all awesome - that's really lovely of u all :)

Hey there Cindy :) I was imprisoned in my home and then drugged and raped by a very angry man.  I have no genitals after the incident--as in gone--but--

I don't do defeat, giving up and I'm actually, strangely, on the up and up, after doing some hard, but really good work in therapy.  This may sound odd, but I had to 'jump' so far out of my ordinary self, into the spiritual realm, where I stayed, almost out of my body, for about a week.  I really lost the plot for a while, and went temporarily mad.  I reconnected, and it was hard for a while--while I tried to make sense of a world that has people that do stuff like that, but I pegged it.

I found meaning, beyond ordinary day to day meaning.  Goes sorta like this: bad stuff happens, everyday.  I'm not alone.  A man gets raped too sometimes--so it's connected me to women, more deeply, which is absolutely beautiful!  Ya know, -- it's actually made me a better person, after and over time.  The perpetrator did not intend that--but if other women and war casualties can make sense of maiming, then, I'm in a good crowd.

I have found amanzing resources within to make sense of it, and I'm looking forwards to getting my replacement phallus, that I like to coin 'my bionic replacement'.  It's really helped to look at the upside: the darned new one will do what I say, not vice versa :) and I can be a more sensitive, responsive and connected partner.  No more timing issues.  No more erectile failure!  This is *good* stuff.

What I'm seeking is:....*next post*
Courage is fear that hasn't said its prayers yet
You don't have to forgive others because they deserve it.  Forgive them because you deserve peace

Fear of others is reminding you that you are in danger of becoming what you hate
Fear of self ensures that you don't become what you hate
  •  

stavraki

I hope that wasn't Too Much Information  :embarrassed:

Anyhooz, what I'm specifically looking for is:

1. What will the final result actually look like?  Have they improved the aesthetics (some of the pics I've seen don't look quite right, while some work looks absolutely fantastic).

2. Do you get any 'sculpting' options for the final product.

3. Why don't we have an organ transplant medical model for this?  Seems obvious--they harvest liver, pancreas, kidney, heart, lungs and toss the rest, yet there would be a great many people who could use actual real genitals from the opposing sex.  I'm imagining that FTM and MTF here.  And for women who have had their clitoris removed, unwillingly, there is a model for restoring their sexual function as well.  I just don't get why our medics haven't gone down this road yet.  We have a pending "foreskin regeneration" clinic trial (Foregen)!  If they're doing that, i'd have thought that actual genitals were more a priority!
Courage is fear that hasn't said its prayers yet
You don't have to forgive others because they deserve it.  Forgive them because you deserve peace

Fear of others is reminding you that you are in danger of becoming what you hate
Fear of self ensures that you don't become what you hate
  •  

Jamie D

Okay, I follow what you are saying.  You were nullo'ed.

Without a penis and scrotum, the modern SRS techniques are not possible.  However, some of the other techniques, such as a colon-vaginoplasty, or using donor tissue from other parts of the body, might be utilized to construct a functional neo-vagina.

To tell you the truth, I would not even know where to begin a search.  This, though, I know.  You need to have some sort of steroid in your body, be it male or female, to avoid bad side effects like osteoporosis.
  •  

Nicolette

Quote from: Jamie D on May 28, 2013, 05:54:09 PM
Okay, I follow what you are saying.  You were nullo'ed.

Without a penis and scrotum, the modern SRS techniques are not possible.  However, some of the other techniques, such as a colon-vaginoplasty, or using donor tissue from other parts of the body, might be utilized to construct a functional neo-vagina.

To tell you the truth, I would not even know where to begin a search.  This, though, I know.  You need to have some sort of steroid in your body, be it male or female, to avoid bad side effects like osteoporosis.

Sorry, just came across this post and was perplexed by the responses. The man wants a reconstruction, not male to female SRS!
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stavraki

Quote from: Nicolette on July 05, 2013, 06:05:00 AM
Sorry, just came across this post and was perplexed by the responses. The man wants a reconstruction, not male to female SRS!

:) cheers Nicolette you gottit :)

I'm booked in at Perovic Foundation - and gunna getton a plane on the 5th of August.  Anxious but excited.  Through an ex-partner's associate's friend, (three degrees of freedom), I have a direct comment from a guy who got the MDL procedure.  Apparently, an authentic looking result!  You get to choose size options :) for reconstruction.....

Life's gone from a 'oh god!  Do I have to wake up' to 'Oh my god!  I'm going to be okay!'.  Plus, bonuses from reclaimed sexual function, even as I am.  Miracle of self-discovery.  I'm on a great road into a getting-brighter future.

Kind Regards
stav
Courage is fear that hasn't said its prayers yet
You don't have to forgive others because they deserve it.  Forgive them because you deserve peace

Fear of others is reminding you that you are in danger of becoming what you hate
Fear of self ensures that you don't become what you hate
  •  

Devlyn

Hi Stav, welcome to Susan's Place! I live near Boston. I hope you find what you're looking for, we have lots of smart folks here on the site. Hugs, Devlyn
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Shantel

Quote from: stavraki on July 05, 2013, 06:35:02 AM
:) cheers Nicolette you gottit :)

I'm booked in at Perovic Foundation - and gunna getton a plane on the 5th of August.  Anxious but excited.  Through an ex-partner's associate's friend, (three degrees of freedom), I have a direct comment from a guy who got the MDL procedure.  Apparently, an authentic looking result!  You get to choose size options :) for reconstruction.....

Life's gone from a 'oh god!  Do I have to wake up' to 'Oh my god!  I'm going to be okay!'.  Plus, bonuses from reclaimed sexual function, even as I am.  Miracle of self-discovery.  I'm on a great road into a getting-brighter future.

Kind Regards
stav

Welcome Stav!
            There will be a lot of FtM members that will be interested in following your progress along with information about the procedures and any links that you would be willing to provide. Sorry that we seem a bit slow on the uptake here because there are so many expressions of gender here at Susan's that it can be confusing at times knowing where you are coming from and where you are going without some specificity from the individual who is posting.
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stavraki

Quote from: Shantel on July 05, 2013, 04:41:20 PM
Welcome Stav!
            There will be a lot of FtM members that will be interested in following your progress along with information about the procedures and any links that you would be willing to provide. Sorry that we seem a bit slow on the uptake here because there are so many expressions of gender here at Susan's that it can be confusing at times knowing where you are coming from and where you are going without some specificity from the individual who is posting.

Thank you so much and I feel very welcomed here.  I haven't enjoyed an online community, and not ever felt safe enough to be open like I am here.  I really appreciate the quality of care that must be going into keeping people able to be their better selves here.  The moderators must work hard, and be quite vigilant :)  They're doing a great job.  I also really love the reputation process.  The power of positive reinforcement in action.  And each other for the affirmation or nudge for offending.  Never seen that model of protection before. :)

My warm regards to you -

stav
Courage is fear that hasn't said its prayers yet
You don't have to forgive others because they deserve it.  Forgive them because you deserve peace

Fear of others is reminding you that you are in danger of becoming what you hate
Fear of self ensures that you don't become what you hate
  •  

Devlyn

Quote from: stavraki on July 05, 2013, 08:44:14 PM
Thank you so much and I feel very welcomed here.  I haven't enjoyed an online community, and not ever felt safe enough to be open like I am here.  I really appreciate the quality of care that must be going into keeping people able to be their better selves here.  The moderators must work hard, and be quite vigilant :)  They're doing a great job.  I also really love the reputation process.  The power of positive reinforcement in action.  And each other for the affirmation or nudge for offending.  Never seen that model of protection before. :)

My warm regards to you -

stav

<feet on desk, snoring, drooling, covered with doughnut crumbs>
  •  

stavraki

Quote from: Moderator 6 on July 05, 2013, 09:33:56 PM
<feet on desk, snoring, drooling, covered with doughnut crumbs>

Ha ha ha -- *hands u a loukomatha* *says* here try one of these--they're donuts made with plain flour, raised with yeast, sprinkled with cinammon and honey trickled over the top :)
Courage is fear that hasn't said its prayers yet
You don't have to forgive others because they deserve it.  Forgive them because you deserve peace

Fear of others is reminding you that you are in danger of becoming what you hate
Fear of self ensures that you don't become what you hate
  •  

Jamie D

Quote from: stavraki on July 05, 2013, 06:35:02 AM
:) cheers Nicolette you gottit :)

I'm booked in at Perovic Foundation - and gunna getton a plane on the 5th of August.  Anxious but excited.  Through an ex-partner's associate's friend, (three degrees of freedom), I have a direct comment from a guy who got the MDL procedure.  Apparently, an authentic looking result!  You get to choose size options :) for reconstruction.....

Life's gone from a 'oh god!  Do I have to wake up' to 'Oh my god!  I'm going to be okay!'.  Plus, bonuses from reclaimed sexual function, even as I am.  Miracle of self-discovery.  I'm on a great road into a getting-brighter future.

Kind Regards
stav

Sorry about the stav!  I must have fallen off of the back of the turnip truck that day   ::)
  •  

Devlyn

Quote from: stavraki on July 05, 2013, 09:54:53 PM
Ha ha ha -- *hands u a loukomatha* *says* here try one of these--they're donuts made with plain flour, raised with yeast, sprinkled with cinammon and honey trickled over the top :)

Huh? What? <Smells cinnamon, wakes up> Why, thank you!
  •  

stavraki

Quote from: Xena the Warrior Princess on July 05, 2013, 09:58:37 PM
Sorry about the stav!  I must have fallen off of the back of the turnip truck that day   ::)

*warm smile* -- *hands u a loukomatha* :) could be worse. Um, nowhere near as difficult as one of my ma's diamond tipped stilleto heel that she used to throw at glass windows to call dad in for dinner :):)
Courage is fear that hasn't said its prayers yet
You don't have to forgive others because they deserve it.  Forgive them because you deserve peace

Fear of others is reminding you that you are in danger of becoming what you hate
Fear of self ensures that you don't become what you hate
  •  

Devlyn

Quote from: stavraki on July 05, 2013, 10:05:51 PM
*warm smile* -- *hands u a loukomatha* :) could be worse. Um, nowhere near as difficult as one of my ma's diamond tipped stilleto heel that she used to throw at glass windows to call dad in for dinner :):)

I'm calling for backup, we've got a Code Ate here; doughnut giveaway!
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