I guess I've "unofficially" come out so far.

I made a new Facebook with a new name (Aneirin Conor P. I'm not gonna put my surname for obvious reasons) - I'm changing my entire name because the surname I currently have is connected to someone who was an ab*ser and I'm already changing my name, so I'm being rid of it all together. I friended all the people who I cared about (read: who still actually kept in touch with me) and announced on my old account that I would be going by exclusively male pronouns (as I identified as genderfluid before I would announce what pronouns I preferred whenever it switched) and that anyone who received a friend request from my new account to accept it, as it was still me.

I'm not sure if I should...officially...come out to my family, whatever that means. Part of me wants to be a bit silly about it (like, make a Coming-Out-Greeting-Card and have a pop up of me jumping out of the closet or something) because that's just how I am - especially when it's something big like this. I have high anxiety, so I deal with it by my own sense of humor, but at the same time I want them to take me seriously. I have a REALLY big family (22 first cousins alone, and I have a slew of 2nd and 3rd cousins), so I don't know how to go about it. I half don't care at all about telling them officially, and the other half feels like I NEED to come out and say it. I haven't seen all of my family for a while, because the trips away made me overly anxious (not being able to control my own means of travel made going from Delaware to Michigan a really rough trip for me), but I don't think I'll -never- see them again, so it's kind of important that they know and don't go and refer to me as my old name or with the wrong pronouns.

My closest friends at home know. One of them even helped me find a name that suited me well (I already went by Rin...but Aneirin fit so well and it's Welsh; it just felt right and I can still go by Rin as a nickname).

So now it's just down to my family. My large, intimidating family.

I'm just....really lost in this.

I'm sorry that this post got tangential.   

I love your idea; making a card with a pop up. I would say to let your close family members know face-to-face or over the phone; mum & dad, siblings, and others you see regularly.  Once you've done that, i don't see a problem informing everyone else by card, although you might want to add a few sentences. Aneirin's a really unique name, nice.

I actually don't see my parents face to face, like, ever. My dad kicked me out of the house about 4 years ago so our relationship is rather strained due to that.
I'm okay with them, but I don't see them on the reg; and since my father's the one I'm a bit...terrified of...I'd rather just send them the card too >.> My "found family" is who I told in person already. My siblings I guess I could call. I'm pretty close with my brother (he's ten years younger than me), but I'm a little uncertain how my sister would take it (we're not all that close).

If I did do the card thing, it'd be much more informational (like please use male pronouns and my new name I would appreciate your support in this kthnxbai basically. I had it written out to a friend somewhere.)

(And thank you ^_^; Aneirin was a name of a Celtic bard back in the middle ages and when I found it (my friend actually told me about him), it just felt right, y'know?)

Quote from: Rin on July 11, 2013, 10:31:22 AM
I actually don't see my parents face to face, like, ever. My dad kicked me out of the house about 4 years ago so our relationship is rather strained due to that.
I'm okay with them, but I don't see them on the reg; and since my father's the one I'm a bit...terrified of...I'd rather just send them the card too >.> My "found family" is who I told in person already. My siblings I guess I could call. I'm pretty close with my brother (he's ten years younger than me), but I'm a little uncertain how my sister would take it (we're not all that close).

If I did do the card thing, it'd be much more informational (like please use male pronouns and my new name I would appreciate your support in this kthnxbai basically. I had it written out to a friend somewhere.)

(And thank you ^_^; Aneirin was a name of a Celtic bard back in the middle ages and when I found it (my friend actually told me about him), it just felt right, y'know?)

Ouch.... It saddens me to hear of that. If you end up calling someone, your brother, then i would call my other siblings, mum & dad - just as i wouldn't want them to know second hand. Its your choice to make though. I think that's more than adequate to say too. I would totally dig if you were to show me-us, the card once it's finished 
It's nice you have a bit of a story to how you come about your name, and know where it comes from. Apparently it means "noble", if you did not know.

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to come out.  Everyone's situation is different.  If this is what will work best for you, go for it.  I have spent so much time trying to devise an amazing coming out strategy and ultimately I failed in many ways.  So sometimes it's just best to get it out there.  As long as you are prepared and feel comfortable with what you are doing, then that's what you should do.   

Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on July 11, 2013, 11:49:39 AM
Ouch.... It saddens me to hear of that. If you end up calling someone, your brother, then i would call my other siblings, mum & dad - just as i wouldn't want them to know second hand. Its your choice to make though. I think that's more than adequate to say too. I would totally dig if you were to show me-us, the card once it's finished 
It's nice you have a bit of a story to how you come about your name, and know where it comes from. Apparently it means "noble", if you did not know.

Yeah I might call my brother soon, actually. Hopefully it won't surprise him too much. He's 14, but I think he'll understand. He always used to jokingly call me his "big brother" anyway since I taught him how to fight and handle a sword (he actually makes his own boffer weapons now I'm so proud).
And yeah I will definitely share if I end up making the card hehe (now I just gotta find someone who can draw lol).

Yeah, I'm a bit of a hardcore intense person when it comes to names and meanings, actually, because I'm a writer. I always try to have a meaning behind the name (I actually went to behindthename.com to search for my middle name haha). I picked Rin at first simply because it was the male version of what my friends called me before anyway and it was Japanese for "dignified, handsome, cold" so I dug that, but when I found Aneirin, that also helped me connect with my Celtic roots and I went through about 10 middle names before settling on Conor (I picked that one first and kept changing my mind...I almost picked Hermes for several reasons and then I decided that Conor fit and flowed better). AND with the name Aneirin, I could still go by Rin for short so it was a win/win :3

Quote from: learningtolive on July 11, 2013, 07:29:15 PM
I don't think there is a right or wrong way to come out.  Everyone's situation is different.  If this is what will work best for you, go for it.  I have spent so much time trying to devise an amazing coming out strategy and ultimately I failed in many ways.  So sometimes it's just best to get it out there.  As long as you are prepared and feel comfortable with what you are doing, then that's what you should do.   

Yeah, I'm comfortable with coming out, but I'm not quite sure I'm "prepared". Some of my cousins are super-duper religious and I'm just afraid I'm gonna get the whole You-Just-Need-Jesus spiel (which is annoying, since I've already come back with the I-Tried-That-But-Now-I-Have-Hermes-And-Athena-So-I-Think-I'm-Good conversation as to being a Hellenic Pagan with them), so I'm hoping that won't happen. I wanna call my brother but I accidentally fell asleep for 6 hours (it's been a long day), so I don't know if he's busy now >.>;


(Also it's occurred to me I really like parentheticals (can you tell?)).

YOU GUYS
I JUST OFFICIALLY CAME OUT TO MY LITTLE BROTHER
(and dude I mean it he's 10 years younger than me)

I texted him and asked if he was busy and he sent this gem back:

"Depends on what you meant by busy...If you mean am I "getting busy" insinuating sexual intercourse, no I am not. But if you mean am I "busy" as in currently occupied with a previous engagement, no I am not as well. Or perhaps you made a typo and were meaning "are you busty?" questioning the status of my breast size, and I have to say, I do not believe I am..."

I was like omg no you smart*** can I call you and he was like uh yeah sure.

So I pick up the phone and call him and make small talk of course at first and then he asks me what's up (I never ->-bleeped-<-ing call him). So I take a deep breath and go "I'm transitioning."
"What?"
"I'm transitioning...I'm a boy."
"What?"
"Remember when you used to joke about me being your big brother? Well, now I'm actually your big brother. I'm in therapy and I'd like to be referred to with only male pronouns and just exclusively as Rin, okay?"
"Oh. Okay."
*me surprised* "You're fine with it? Like, it doesn't bother you?"
"Nope."
"Oh, good. So, do you have any questions for me?"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah?"
"When's the next Otakon?"

Seriously he's the f-ing best.
And then he told me mom was home and she asked who he was talking to and he said my old name and then panicked and was like

"no not that I meaN RIN, RIN IS WHO I'M TALKING TO, IT'S RIN"

This is why I wanted to come out to him first, haha.

That's fantastic he reacted well.  I found what he said about being busy hysterical, i should use that some time.  Did you not think afterwards, 'I might as well tell Mum too.' Just as you had confidence, was pumped up, or something.
I had no idea what boffer weapons were. Pretty cool hobby to have. I would like to go larping. That is rather 'intense' work you did. I definitely see the appeal. My name was just chosen, but it doesn't bother me.

Well, I got a good reaction out of my brother and that literally took all I had out of me. And if my mom reacted badly, it would've ruined my brother's reaction. Once again, I have a strained relationship with my parents so I would rather just send like an announcement and leave it at that.