Had to make my room somewhat junky again.  When my mom sobers up tommorrow, I'm going to beg her not to touch anything in my room anymore.  I know it won't work and she won't listen to me but I have to try.  Because of her, I'm all panicy.  Things are missing in my room and I don't like it.  I can't even lay down without thinking about it.  I hate this so much.

I'm thinking that right about now I just hate everything.

I hate clean rooms.

Well if I'm not the one cleaning it then things get missing....I'd rather have a messy room where I know where everything is at than a clean room with important items missing.  Plus a clean room to me is kind of boring.  I don't like organization.

Quote from: Malachite on July 13, 2013, 09:06:02 AM
Well if I'm not the one cleaning it then things get missing....I'd rather have a messy room where I know where everything is at than a clean room with important items missing.  Plus a clean room to me is kind of boring.  I don't like organization.

My step dad had a thing for throwing my stuff out, it still pisses me off

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I need to play my guitar more often like I use to     I've lost my calluses and now I have a blister and the rest of my fingers just plain hurt

Quote from: V M on July 13, 2013, 09:44:24 AM
My step dad had a thing for throwing my stuff out, it still pisses me off

I don't blame you.  I was talking to a friend and she said her grandma threw her dipoma out.  Heck I'm still pretty upset right now that I tried to put my hand down the side of my bed and found a birthday card I guess I forgot about from my mom and inside was $30.  I just stuffed it back down because I was still angry. 

Quote from: Sol Luca on July 06, 2013, 05:19:17 PM
Guilty! ^.^; I am the friend lol

Thanks for showing me this place Arawn! *snugs*

-.- I need to read threads better.

*snugs* <3 I'm glad you made it!

So nobody called back within the last 48 hours. That means no bone cancer or anything in my hip, I hope.

Can't get the freaking fridge out of the kitchen, this is ridiculous. It's outdated and the screws are ratcheted.

Also having difficulty understanding the sheer stupidity of the things my parents say. My therapist says I have to put down female and my name on forms and just know it's not actually me but that doesn't solve my problem. Sometimes it really seems men are from Mars and women from Venus, I want to collaborate on a solution. Talking it over fixes it very temporarily, like slapping scotch tape on a leak in a boat traveling over rapids.

Seriously, if I had gathered the courage to do this years ago, everything would've been different. Maybe explicitly stating my feelings would have acted as the "proof" they needed and I could have had things get done a long time ago.

How am i going to start a blog off, and how blaah.

Quote from: Liminal Stranger on July 13, 2013, 10:55:36 AM

Seriously, if I had gathered the courage to do this years ago, everything would've been different. Maybe explicitly stating my feelings would have acted as the "proof" they needed and I could have had things get done a long time ago.

I SO understand where you're coming from.  I always metaphorically kick myself in the forehead for not being more aggressive in telling my parents about how I don't right being a girl.  I would tell them here and there about my discontent but they brushed it off.  Now I have to mostly work from scratch and figure out how the heck and I'm going to come out to them and not only that, tell them I'm getting top surgery.  I really wish I had warmed them up to the idea when I was much younger.



I just got back from a couple of yardsales with my dad.  Since he knows I've been selling a few things here and there online from my room he wants me to upgrade my thinking by buying things to resale.  He brought two sample items for me to sale....a bed sheet set or something and a power painter.  I'm going to start with the bed sheet set first even though he told me I have 7 days to sell the power painter.  Hmmm

It's midnight and the new subbed episode of Shingeki no Kyojin should be up at around 4am if I can trust last week's schedule...
Now, to stay awake till then or not? We shall see...

I want to draw but I'm too lazy to get my pencil and other necessary stuff from another room. But I really should draw more of my fursona, I like him more than I anticipated.

I cooked some sloppy joe sauce. The beef was still a bit frozen when I put it in the pan, but I broke it up and it turned into the small pieces and cooked brown...then let it simmer with the sauce for a while. But when I ate the sloppy joes they were a little cold. So now, the tiny hypochondriac in me is making me feel very nauseated because it's convinced I will die of E Coli -_-

Got some new shoes! (Women's size 11 - I can wear something Target carries! )

Sat at a bar having fake conversations with people, holding a fake drink, and wearing a fake smile. All for the sake of ad photography

Saw a movie (Pacific Rim - too much action for me but there wasn't really anything else good)

My younger brother (the one who now knows) is being an ass. D:
He kinda always is, but now in particular. Nobody, especially not him, gets to call me "it".

Quote from: Tossu-sama on July 13, 2013, 04:09:28 PM
It's midnight and the new subbed episode of Shingeki no Kyojin should be up at around 4am if I can trust last week's schedule...
Now, to stay awake till then or not? We shall see...

have you given in and read the manga yet?

I tried to wait since I started with the show, but I had no willpower and caught up in one sitting

Quote from: Malachite on July 12, 2013, 10:31:59 PM
Had to make my room somewhat junky again.  When my mom sobers up tommorrow, I'm going to beg her not to touch anything in my room anymore.  I know it won't work and she won't listen to me but I have to try.  Because of her, I'm all panicy.  Things are missing in my room and I don't like it.  I can't even lay down without thinking about it.  I hate this so much.

I feel this so bad,my stepdad is an idiot and he will go in my room, move things then completely forget where he has put them.  Its also become pretty normal for me to come back from staying at a friends house and discover my room has been completely rearranged.....like all my furniture and bed moved  . They also buy new furniture for me but never even tell me they are doing it. I think they just view it as another one of their rooms rather then my room, I get zero imput half the time it really annoys me. Dont wanna say anything and seem ungrateful though....

im thinking that trying to decide what to do with my future is so difficult. I have no idea what I want to do.

Quote from: spacerace on July 13, 2013, 05:01:39 PM
have you given in and read the manga yet?

I tried to wait since I started with the show, but I had no willpower and caught up in one sitting

Nope and I'm trying hard not to accidentally spoil myself.
I do that way too often... It's kinda dangerous to be in Tumblr when it comes to that but so far I'm spoiler free!
...Well, I knew about Eren's titan form beforehand but that was thanks to deviantART surprisingly.

Quote from: Jam on July 13, 2013, 05:30:52 PM
I feel this so bad,my stepdad is an idiot and he will go in my room, move things then completely forget where he has put them.  Its also become pretty normal for me to come back from staying at a friends house and discover my room has been completely rearranged.....like all my furniture and bed moved  . They also buy new furniture for me but never even tell me they are doing it. I think they just view it as another one of their rooms rather then my room, I get zero imput half the time it really annoys me. Dont wanna say anything and seem ungrateful though....

im thinking that trying to decide what to do with my future is so difficult. I have no idea what I want to do.

Omg that would be so nerve wracking.  It's almost like being punished for going out because that's exactly how I felt.......punished!

Should i ever be able to sing "Dazed And Confused" again (unlikely) i will sing it like this:

i've been dazed and confused...FOR-SO-LONG-IT'S-NOT-TRUE!
WANTED A WOMAN!, never bargained for you,
lots of people talking, FEW OF THEM KNOW!
SOUL OF A WOMAN WAS CREATED BELOW!

I seem to remember a concert tape where it was sung like that, but it must've been imagination.

I'm glad I found a transgender housing network site.  I may need it in the future.

Will my Itouch get down to 25% in the next 10 minutes. I wonder if i know that person. Hope that guy has a good birthday.