I've found from posting here the other side of the stories and news items and tv comments. My protective instincts are stirred. And my compassion. When I hear conversations now about transgenerism, if the person speaking isn't 'getting' the issues, I've started opening my mouth where there's opportunity......I feel blessed to have discovered you and all the others here I've me, I really do.
Quote from: Jane's Sweet Refrain on July 15, 2013, 04:51:38 AM
Stav,
Wow. Thanks so much for the compliments. Although we communicate only in this virtual medium, you're like so many of my friends locally who, as they've told me, have my back with a box cutter. They're being figurative, of course, except the one who coined it. She's beautifully insane and probably is not exaggerating.
ha ha ha!!
QuoteIf ultimately he cannot handle my pre-op status, there's little that either of us can do about it. I won't try and I really don't want to be around a guy who's working through discomfort.
Here's the part where I want to pull my hair out and tell him to grow a backbone, and ask him if he's an invertebrate. Then remind him if he knows the meaning of 'the big picture' and the journey of being with someone. And if that doesn't work, and ur friend can keep off the box cutter--long enough instead, [joke] we'll package the guy off for aversion therapy using electric shocks. And a pedal under ur desk to press to zorch him on dates so that he gets an electric shock every time he says something that needs changing [/joke]
QuoteThe only thing he has control over is how he treats me in the process of coming to terms with how he deals with a new sexual frontier
I believe very much so, he has a social responsibility to understand human pain and how to honour the journey of human vulnerability--especially, during times he is going to journey into a new social frontier, and to evidence acumen and sensitivity, and to apologise for misappropriated language as he learns.
QuoteAnd so far, he's been kind and respectful. Yes, I could have used a couple of reassuring texts yesterday or a phone call yesterday,
I hear ya.
One of my favourite lines "all my kingdom for empathy"--ie we wouldn't need 'kingdoms' money, wealth, passports and prisons if there was 'enough empathy' in every soul that we transformed societies.
Quotebut he's been very kind to give both of us the chance.
Cause ur a generous hearted soul, that's such a big thing to extend to him. You're beautiful. Here's what I think: he's lucky to be given an opportunity to discover if he wants to expand his understanding of the capacity of the human heart to grow into new frontiers. If he bungles that, he's the one who stays smaller than he could grow in a lifetime.
Because that's the reality--he'll stay smaller than he could grow otherwise.
Society may well have all the advantages of power and privilege for 'conventional' body-gender configurations, so that they don't need to think much about difference, or about transgender prejudice, or about the pain and shame they leave by not embracing difference. Thing is though, if they don't see through their own limits, that means they don't grow. Conventional people get conventional standing, in a conventional world, not exceptional standing in an exceptional world.
You're exceptional, not 'wrong'. Exceptional is the correct word. And exceptional people should have exceptional, not ordinary partners, or at the least, ordinary people prepared to grow into exceptional human beings.
He's lucky for the attention you show him--and I'm wanting you to know, down deep in every coffer of your self-worth that you are exceptional, so that you can buffer yourself against the many knocks that ordinary people deliver to exceptional human beings, so that you can grow strong.
My kind regards to you--
stav
