Quote from: Edge on July 25, 2013, 09:44:53 PM
Man, I keep getting obsessed with fictional characters who remind myself of and/or who I want to emulate. This time, it's a random character from Holes which is also a little embarrassing since it is a kids' book. I really want it to be time I like my own life instead of living vicariously through fictional characters. Why do I feel blocked from doing so?

:O I do the same sometimes, except I picture myself as the weird crazy girl from firefly, since I am kind of like that.. Only I don't think I am crazy, or I could be if you ask some people. I rarely talk, but when I do.. I wonder how many people understand me.. or even hear it, since they almost always ask me to repeat it.

Anyways, I am no longer worried about how people will react when/if I tell them I am trans, but kind of upset since I can't think of a way to get rid of this "friend" now, except for maybe pretend to be checking him out(think he misunderstood me), or just ignoring him.

Quote from: matthewzguitarz on July 25, 2013, 11:26:56 PM
:O I do the same sometimes, except I picture myself as the weird crazy girl from firefly

River?

One of my friends just told me that he just assumed I was a guy (with the parts) right from the get go and, recently, another friend told me that a guy she knows automatically assumed I was a guy (with the parts) too. Holy crap. Here I was not being careful about outing myself because I assumed everyone could tell anyway.

Don't it ever get lonesome? Don't it ever get sad when you go out on the road?
When the P.A system eats it and the band plays some of the most terriblest sh!t you've ever known.

Zappa was really weird. Ending the show because one single person was not singing.

Should have just went on to Gamestop.  Now I'll have to ask my mom if I could drive her car up there....with her in it of course.

-hisses- I hate driving.

this got me thinking about how stupid i am/was:

You say there ain't no use in livin'
'N it's all a waste of time
'N you wanna throw your life away, well
People that's just fine
Go ahead on 'n get it over with then
Find you a bridge 'n take a jump
Just make sure you get it right the first time
'Cause nothin's worse than a Suicide Chump

You say there ain't no light a-shinin'
Through the bushes up ahead
'N they all gonna be sorry
When they find out you are dead
I ain't gonna do no weepin'
Ain't no way I'll shed a tear
Just make sure you get it right the first time
Don't chump your suicide, my dear

Now maybe you're scared of jumpin'
'N poison makes you sick
But you really need attention
'N you need it pretty quick
Don't wanna mess your face up
Or we won't know if it's you
Aw, there's just so much to worry about
Now what you gonna do?
Go ahead on 'n get it over with then
Find you a bridge 'n take a jump
Just make sure you get it right the first time
'Cause nothin's worse than a Suicide Chump
Aw, chump it then

You say there ain't no use in livin'
'N it's all a waste of time
'N you wanna throw your life away, well
People that's just fine
Go ahead on 'n get it over with then
Find you a bridge 'n take a jump
Just make sure you get it right the first time
'Cause nothin's worse than a Suicide Chump

Now you say there ain't no light a-shinin'
Through the bushes up ahead
'N they all gwine be sorry
When they find out you are dead
I ain't gonna do no weepin'
Aw, there ain't no way I'll shed a tear
Just make sure you get it right the first time
Don't chump your suicide, my dear

Now maybe you're scared of jumpin'
'N poison makes you sick
But you really need attention
'N you need it pretty quick
Don't wanna mess your face up
Or we won't know if it's you
Aw, there's just so much to worry about
Now what you gonna do?

Go head on 'n get it over with then
Go head on 'n get it over with then
Go head on 'n get it over with then
Oh, why don't you kill yourself
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, I can't be bothered with your bush
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, think I'll go to the mini-bar
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
And I'll drink way too far
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, tear my eyes out with a corkscrew
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, I think I'll even smell Midget's shoes
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, you know it's too painful for me
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, can't take it no longer
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, gonna eat some worms
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, gonna get some bad germs
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Go head on 'n get it over with then



or even better:

When i first saw you,
i did adore you,
and all your loving ways,
but then you went away,
but now you're back to stay,
and my love for you grows stronger every day

the closer you are,
the brighter the stars in the sky,
and darling i realize,
we'll always be in love

my heart skips a beat,
every time you and i meet,
my life, my love, my dear,
i can't defeat,
this yearning deep in my heart

Pure schmaltz as coming out of a rancid, dusty late 50's jukebox

This is the Central Scrutinizer.......the white zone is for loading and unloading only, if you have to load or unload go to the white zone..........

I visited my aunt and her husband today. It's actually kinda awful and embarrassing to think I've been there last two years ago... But my sort of an excuse was my transition process about to start back then. I guess I just didn't have the mental energy to deal with relatives or something. *shrug*
My aunt stuffed a pile of food in a plastic bag for me to take home, including home made lasagne. ouo Gotta eat that later...

I also started doodling my older characters, some dating all the way back to 2009. I just mostly wanted to see how they look in my current drawing style but now I really wanna do some real artwork of one couple. Considering one of them is my all-time favorite of my own characters, I've neglected them badly over the years.
MUST CORRECT THIS.

Aaaand I also had way too much fun with blueberries today.

I wish my father would put up or shut up.  He's always making little comments about how I should have went into the medical field instead of criminal justice and he tells me it's not too late.  When he goes into the medical field, so will I, but I know he won't.  It seems like I can never please my parents.

Mental wounds and a broken spirit cannot simply be healed.

Whooaaa,  I feel completely high right now, meditating is awesome, who needs drugs when all you need is about half an hour to yourself? 

Working at night again is kind of weird, but its only a few nights a week at least along with several day shifts. Extra money due to more overtime too, could definitely use that.

R.I.P J.J.Cale

Orange, green, red, and purple. I think that's the order of my favourite Starburts.

i'm glad i'm no longer suffering from anxiety attacks like i used to. They made working at school impossible at times.

I think I am going to make something from Somali Food Blog tomorrow for my lunch to take to work during the week. . . now, just which recipe? they all look so delicious. . .

Its a good thing my dog isn't green or he'd be dead already.

Live green dogs?  That would be one weird trip.  Cartoon Land

I'm referring to my inability to keep houseplants alive and healthy and the dogs good fortune that he isn't one. But then houseplants aren't inclined to annoy me when they want something, so they are quite easy to ignore long term.