Quote from: angelats on August 03, 2013, 04:59:18 AM
I do wonder, what this is: just a woman.
Is it something corporeal for you? something spiritual? Is it your essence?
I do wonder what is your concept of womanhood. Of being just a woman.

You definitely do not owe me an explanation. But i am here to learn from you.

OK I'm not sure I understand the question.

I was born with male genitals and an XY:46 chromosome set. From very early age I identified as female. Well before conscious gender selection in children. To clarify, young children gender ID at about 3-6 years old, they do not need to be 'taught' their gender, they, the vast majority, just act and want to dress etc as their gender. I identified female in play and social interaction. a point we now look at in treating kids with potential GID.

I was sadly in an era were the condition was unrecognised, and if it was,  it tended to be treated with aversion therapy.

I lived acted as a female all my life, yes I forced into male only schools to treat me and I was forced into male activity and positively restrained from participating in female activity.

At puberty I was waiting with joy to become a 'woman'. I won't go to far into the next few years, there are details from me in my history, they trigger me, and if you read them you will know why.

Suffice to say I was cruelly treated.

But throughout and maybe because of everything I had to accept me as a female who was being treated as a male.

I never knew what being a guy was, I never understood, I tried, Oh F* I tried. I wanted to be normal. I even married a woman who knew I was TG in the hope that would cure me. Guess what it didn't work. I was still a woman and I'm not a lesbian so our sex life was zilch. I still love her and she love me.

When, after a long road when I finally accepted me, I accepted me as a normal woman. I am.  OK I'm sterile. But other women are.

No explanations?  Why should I? I have and don't expect explanations from any other man or woman to describe themselves, why should I?

I'm a woman.

I'm proud, I'm nice, I'm attractive, I love my life.

I'm just a woman, just like 50%-ish of society.

Spirituality, essence?  I don't have a clue.

I'm a woman.

I hate that question even when its some time since I got it.

last time a guy asked "are you a boy or a girl" I said. "what do you think?"

if im being more polite I say "im a guy" I think thats what suits me,

No one has actually ever asked whether I was a man. If an adult ever asked me that, my stock answer will be "Are you saying I look like a man?"

Quote from: suzifrommd on August 03, 2013, 10:31:00 AM
No one has actually ever asked whether I was a man. If an adult ever asked me that, my stock answer will be "Are you saying I look like a man?"

Perfect! That's exactly what any other woman would say. Then watch them trip all over themselves even worse than if they'd mistakenly asked someone if she's pregnant.

I love Cindy outlook on life. I have started selectively living my life in my real gender. Sometimes I get identified as female and recently I was in the drugstore paying for my cosmetics and cashier called me sir. So I guess I would consider myself somewhat passable my problem is I wish I had the courage that some of you show. It's like I want to take tennis lessons and do it as a female but I just don't want everyone staring at me and saying look at that nut in skirt. It's not that I don't go out but I feel safe in store or restaurant where I know I will not go back to on a regular basis. No one's ever asked me what sex I am. I guess it's my belief I don't want people to think ill of me or make fun. I guess I'd say what advice can you?

Quote from: Hope on August 03, 2013, 12:25:29 PM
I love Cindy outlook on life. I have started selectively living my life in my real gender. Sometimes I get identified as female and recently I was in the drugstore paying for my cosmetics and cashier called me sir. So I guess I would consider myself somewhat passable my problem is I wish I had the courage that some of you show. It's like I want to take tennis lessons and do it as a female but I just don't want everyone staring at me and saying look at that nut in skirt. It's not that I don't go out but I feel safe in store or restaurant where I know I will not go back to on a regular basis. No one's ever asked me what sex I am. I guess it's my belief I don't want people to think ill of me or make fun. I guess I'd say what advice can you?

Thank you.

But lets reflect on a few things. It hasn't taken courage to be me. It took courage to pretend I was not me. Now a days life is a dream, I'm me, a normal woman, if others have a problem with identifying me, guess whose problem it is? Clue: not mine

You can take comments about yourself in many ways. I don't listen to negative comments, I'm not interested in listening to them, why should I be?

I'm proud and confident, why not? Hell's Bells how many people live our lives and have our courage! I have walked paths; no, we have walked paths that would make the mighty tremble. Be proud!!!!!!!

The words from Carlita are still true. 'I'm more of a man than you will ever be and more of a woman than you will ever have'

Courage doesn't happen. Courage is engaging that persons' eye contact and letting them see your soul, you can then cure them for they then see their fears.

Tennis lessons? Go for it. Nut in a skirt? Nah, you are a woman in a tennis outfit. Simple. get used to it!

I am blessed that I pass 100% of the time now. Before (when I didn't pass) I usually gave two responses. The first was simply not responding. Who does that person think they are? Why should I feel like I owe them any explanation? I would just keep walking.

The second response was usually nasty. A middle finger usually got the point across or just a blank stare. I couldn't open my mouth without giving myself away so if I wasn't in the mood to deal with people I would be a jerk. Not that I advise it but to me they were asking for it by approaching me rudely with such a personal question.

Of course if it was a situation I would be in often like work I would react accordingly. As far as the general public? Screw em'.

Guy : Are you a boy or a girl?
Si:  I   -  AM   - SPARTAN!  (Boot)

Right now in my current thought pattern I wouldn't mind identifying that i'm trans, maybe i'm just trying to appease hardcore feminists or something

I guess it's always going to depend on the situation isn't it?  There is a time to educate,  a time to protect yourself by oversimplifying or flat out lying.  Sometimes humor. .. I guess you just have to have a range of answers up your sleeve.

Here are some lighthearted ribs...

'I am a girl,  but with a severe hormone problem,  thanks for reminding me.'

'Shhh!  Don't blow my cover. .. The girls don't suspect a thing and are sharing all their secrets!'

'I am not sure. .. hold on I will go check....' (walk off)

'Im a cop.'

Quote from: Emmaline on August 11, 2013, 06:50:50 AM


'I am not sure. .. hold on I will go check....' (walk off)

'Im a cop.'

lmao both these 2 = win

or....  I'm Batman, 

Quote from: calico on July 29, 2013, 02:45:31 AM
Way back in the day.... when I first started I remember that some jerk came up in public and asked very loudly what the f was I, I looked at hime like huh? all confused and being the Pos he was he asked if I was a girl, a guy, or some f**, I said kinda loudly and very aggressively hmmm I'm not sure, but I am curious what the heck you are, to which he responded what you mean?,and my response I'm sorry I just cant figure out if you are a Piece of S*** or just anther F-ng A** hole!, to which he just said f-u and walked off....

there are plenty of times where I wish I would girl up and say something like that to a hater. I dont, and have a policy of "just keep walking" that I adhere too. reasons are many. I live in a barrio (great neighborhood and quite beautiful in its way), I often walk alone, and really, Im generally not wired to be confrontational. I do take a lot of abuse on a daily basis though. and it gets quite old. I leave the house feeling confident and pretty and sometimes I cant get much further than the sidewalk before someone says something crappy. This is a primary cause of gender related anxiety now that I am on HRT. The other main contributor is knowing my family (talk to them alot, rarely see them) will never accept me as a woman.

Quote from: smile_jma on July 19, 2013, 03:46:49 AM
Not sure where to put this, as it could pertain to those on HRT, or us in general...

So lets say you're not QUITE passing, but enough to confuse people, when you meet people and they ask you what gender you are, what do you say? I've been having to say I'm male, which kind of sucks because these people I meet I'm going to still have to see in 2 years. It's not like I want to be like, "hi, I'm actually trans..." right when I first meet them. I don't care telling them later (or not since it'll be obvious), but it just seems a little disheartening to have to say that now when I know I don't pass.

Maybe I'm "lucky" enough to get asked...but it sucks. I'd rather they not ask since it's currently changing, albeit slowly.

Just say you a female.

I get called on being a guy all the time and I still refer to myself as a female.

You just have to be confident in yourself!

There was a woman on here with a signature line that said something like, "Woman with a few anatomical anomalies."  I rather like that.

Depends on who I'm talking with.

If it's someone I don't know etc, it's just "I'm a guy". It's just that simple. If they start asking stupid questions, I'll just tell them it's not their business at all.

But if I'm with someone I know and consider a good friend, I sometimes say as a joke that I'm a trans guy who's in a heterosexual relationship and draws gay stuff. |D It describes me quite perfectly.

I'm never asked. They assume one way or another (and less wrong now). Right now a LOT of people are not gendering me at all (so I'm guessing they are thinking I am either super butch or male). I would actually expect that question from a child and not an adult. And if a child asked me if I was a boy or girl, I'd say I was a boy.

--Jay

Quote from: dreaming.forever on July 19, 2013, 10:57:15 AM
I have the opposite problem, sort of. I used to pass as male, but then I had to stop taking T (financial problems) and could no longer bind, so now most people either assume I'm a butch lesbian or categorize me as an "it." Sometimes, under near-perfect conditions, I get lucky and pass, but mostly people alternate between staring at my chest and staring at my attempt at otherwise looking male, with that horrible "what are you???" expression. Literally nobody has ever asked me what gender I am, and I wish people would just ask instead of staring at me as if they can figure it out on their own if they stare at me long enough and calculate whatever gender-discerning formula they think will result in the right answer.

I wish neither me nor anyone else had to go through the awkward don't-quite-pass stage of transitioning. It gets a bit depressing after a while.

Totally agree!

Quote from: Cindy on July 24, 2013, 03:44:54 AM
I'm never asked.

I'm a woman. End of story.

If someone has a problem with that, well it isn't my problem.

I don't pass and never will. So I use it to my advantage.

Today for example there was a meeting of about 100-200 staff and the CEO was addressing changes. I wanted to ask a question but time ran out.

The CEO walked straight up to me and apologised for not having time to answer my concern publicly so we ended up talking for about 10 mins as he walked to his car.

I got more time and more answers than anyone.

Why?

He recognised me.

My advantage, use it.

What am I?

I'm Cindy; a female human being. Post-trans and proud.

I'm not sure who posted it, but someone shouted out at her from the other side of a busy street 'what the f* are you!?', to which she turned around, walked right up to him and shouted back 'I'm a f*ing human being! what the f* are you?'. Awesome

So not every person who will ask will be a hater.   Have any of you had people asking which gender you are in a way that was not hurtful and was a positive experience?

Nope