Okay, actually not the very first step, but some first step too. I called my therapist for the first time. Okay, I admin it, she wasn't in the office and I was only connected to the voice mail. But still, I called. She'll be in the office again starting next week. So I'll call again on Monday.

I wasn't successful yet, but I did it. And I will be successful.

Quote from: PiaBianca on July 31, 2013, 08:56:53 AM
Okay, actually not the very first step, but some first step too. I called my therapist for the first time. Okay, I admin it, she wasn't in the office and I was only connected to the voice mail. But still, I called. She'll be in the office again starting next week. So I'll call again on Monday.

I wasn't successful yet, but I did it. And I will be successful.

Little steps are better then no steps. Just keep yourself true and as you walk this path in life it does become easier by moments.

Really?  Not the first step?  It's a big step and don't kid yourself.  You obviously know there's a need, and you're moving ahead.  \

When you follow through next week keep it simple, and don't avoid the truth because it wastes time, and sometimes money.  After all, you deserve good therapy, advice, and direction.

K

Quote from: kathyk on July 31, 2013, 09:50:30 AM
Really?  Not the first step?  It's a big step and don't kid yourself.  You obviously know there's a need, and you're moving ahead.  \

There's an advisory service in a town nearby which I took advantage of a few weeks ago. But even that isn't the very first step. I think the first step was at a very young age when I first realized thay if you do it right, the crotch looks like that of a woman and that gave me a whole lot to explore. My very first sexual experiences followed and always involved me being turned into a woman by magical means.

Later on those magical means were replaced by blackmailers and kidnappers, but the key element of being transformed into a woman stayed.

So my real first step is starting to vanish from my brains as it was so many years ago.

That said, I don't feel as if I had a big step yet. But I still wanted to share the news as they were overwhelming. Additionally I want to keep the pace as slowing down will make room for doubt.

That said, thanks for your kind answers, kathy and mind. They are appreciated and very welcome.

Don't underestimate what a huge step this is.  You should be proud of yourself.  I remember I was so terrified to contact my therapist.  I actually emailed her and requested her not to call because I was so scared about talking to her until we met,lol.  That was a big step for me.  I'm sure it's the same for you.  Congrats for that big first (or second)!  Get ready for all the other positive ones that are heading your way.

Oh my. I love this place. It's the third time I'm about to cry and the second time that happens out of overwhelming feelings of joy. I love you all.

I'm very happy for you!  It is an important step.  Please, take it from me, once you've undergone the therapy and it's determined that you are in fact ts, please follow through.  For personal reasons I did not.  I am miserable, unhappy, and just living an empty life.  I don't want to see you do the same, it is not the way to live.  Good luck and take care.

It is a big step. I remember being too frightened to contemplate it.

I was so frightened.

I was in tears from my fear.

It is easy for an oldie to look back, and even make post of how happy she now is, but we have all been in Hell.

It took months to work up the courage to get my ears pierced for goddess sake.

Going to a therapist was a bridge way too far to think about.

You are a brave girl. Hold on to it and use it to help yourself keep moving

Quote from: PiaBianca on July 31, 2013, 10:15:04 AM
I think the first step was at a very young age when I first realized thay if you do it right, the crotch looks like that of a woman and that gave me a whole lot to explore.

Oh my god . I totally forgot that one!!! That was funny and nice experience... Thank You for giving me this reminder from my childhood days.
I just wanted to wish You luck and strenght in Your journey Take care, be safe and keep us updated

Baby steps hun, you gotta walk before you can run. Im just hoping my little fall is over soon and i can go back to my own little marathon before its too late to cross the finish line.

Quote from: -Emily- on August 01, 2013, 07:49:52 AM
and keep us updated

I most assuredly will. The next step is to have the guts to call again on Monday.

It doesn't matter what the size of your step was.  What matters is that you embarked on your journey.

Quote from: PiaBianca on July 31, 2013, 08:56:53 AM
So I'll call again on Monday.

Tomorrow is the day.

So, we will all wait here for Your post that You called her and got Your appointment

Congratulations and yes, that is a big and critical step.  I was so deeply into denial, repression and crying that someone made that call for me and probably saved my life and certainly my mental health.  My wife always "knew" me as androgynous and eventually as transgender but I could not accept that term until some nine months ago when the therapist she called came to our home.  I will be forever grateful.
Perhaps like you I was also very happy to magically turn myself into a woman or girl when being in an intimate circumstance.  Oh the power of the mind and our dreams!

I dialed the number and hung it up for months (literally dozens of times) before I finally left a message. I had to force it. And then I joked about it during my first appointment. But it worked.

Good luck! Remember to just relax and be yourself.  It's hard sometimes, but try. It'll make all the difference.

Quote from: -Emily- on August 04, 2013, 04:00:30 PM
So, we will all wait here for Your post that You called her and got Your appointment

Good and bad news. Called her multiple times today, but only got the answering machine telling me that she's off until August 4th. But I kept cool and wrote an e-mail asking for an appointment.

We'll see if that helps.

An e-mail should help! I had similar story with my first therapist, btw His phone was off, I could not leave a message, then got out-of-office reply from e-mail, but he called back himself after he read that e-mail (not that he was great as therapist, but it was the first step, nevertheless). So, at least now she has Your e-mail address and You cant just step back Cheers to the brave!

Quote from: PiaBianca on August 05, 2013, 02:20:38 PM
Good and bad news. Called her multiple times today, but only got the answering machine telling me that she's off until August 4th. But I kept cool and wrote an e-mail asking for an appointment.

We'll see if that helps.

That's actually how I setup my original appointment.  Was much easier for me than actually calling.

My therapist has an online scheduler that you can schedule appointments through, which greatly lowered the barrier to entry.  I had no direct contact with my therapist until I showed up at her office for my appointment.  I agree that scheduling your first appointment is a pretty big first step.  Showing up for your first appointment can also be a pretty big step as well.  I know I was rather nervous for my first session, but there really wasn't any need to be.  You'll be fine