A little bird told me (okay, maybe it was a little Jeebus) that I should come write an intro, so here goes.

Hi! I'm Steph, I'm a 29-year-old, finally moving out of my questioning phase (at least a year) and into the planning stages of my FTM transition. I'm still pre-T, pre-binder, pre-therapy, pre-everything. I've come out to my fiancée, the other women we're seeing (we're polyamorous), and several of our closer friends, but no one in my work or biological families has any idea I'm planning to transition. I am super anxious about both of those. I'm sure if my boss made it known that people should be accepting, they would probably toe the party line and at least be nice to my face, but I'm worried about how to deal with the external clients I work with, and also about how my team's attitude might change, since I just became team lead about 6 months ago and am still very wet around the ears, leadership-wise.

I've been working on picking out a new name and I think I'm pretty close to deciding- Ben was my grandfather's name, and one of the names my parents would have given me if I had been born a boy designated male at birth, and I think Sagan would be a good last name, after Carl Sagan, who I admire a great deal. Also thinking about Robert or Michael for a middle name, for one of my favorite authors, Robert Heinlein.

When I start taking steps to transition, I want to try and focus less on my own anxieties about people's opinions, passing, etc. and do my best to make it a reflective time, where I reevaluate what kind of person I am and what kind of man I want to be. On my best days, I am kind, thoughtful, and even occasionally courageous, and I want to focus on those traits and also be more mindful and purposeful in my actions.

So, hello everyone! Thanks for... having me?

PS. I'm also very into gaming, so if anyone wants to shoot things in the face with me, you can add me on Steam: Calam1tyJane. Just send me a message so I know where you found me.

Hi MaybeBen,

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Janet  )O(

oh gosh I wish I had a steam account, I'd totally shoot things with you

A warm welcome to you Ben.

Glad to have you here.

Quote from: MaybeBen on August 14, 2013, 05:44:41 PM
A little bird told me (okay, maybe it was a little Jeebus) that I should come write an intro, so here goes.

Hi! I'm Steph, I'm a 29-year-old, finally moving out of my questioning phase (at least a year) and into the planning stages of my FTM transition. I'm still pre-T, pre-binder, pre-therapy, pre-everything. I've come out to my fiancée, the other women we're seeing (we're polyamorous), and several of our closer friends, but no one in my work or biological families has any idea I'm planning to transition. I am super anxious about both of those. I'm sure if my boss made it known that people should be accepting, they would probably toe the party line and at least be nice to my face, but I'm worried about how to deal with the external clients I work with, and also about how my team's attitude might change, since I just became team lead about 6 months ago and am still very wet around the ears, leadership-wise.

I've been working on picking out a new name and I think I'm pretty close to deciding- Ben was my grandfather's name, and one of the names my parents would have given me if I had been born a boy designated male at birth, and I think Sagan would be a good last name, after Carl Sagan, who I admire a great deal. Also thinking about Robert or Michael for a middle name, for one of my favorite authors, Robert Heinlein.

When I start taking steps to transition, I want to try and focus less on my own anxieties about people's opinions, passing, etc. and do my best to make it a reflective time, where I reevaluate what kind of person I am and what kind of man I want to be. On my best days, I am kind, thoughtful, and even occasionally courageous, and I want to focus on those traits and also be more mindful and purposeful in my actions.

So, hello everyone! Thanks for... having me?

PS. I'm also very into gaming, so if anyone wants to shoot things in the face with me, you can add me on Steam: Calam1tyJane. Just send me a message so I know where you found me.

Hey Ben. Can I start calling you Ben? I like the idea of why Ben is at the forefront, and why the other two names, Robert and Sagan, are on your mind.

Do you have an idea on a time frame to when you would like to tell your family and co-workers? I understand why both are very daunting to tell  , but I am sure it will turn out fine.

I am on Steam too, but I haven't been gaming much lately and don't own many games on there. Do you play DOTA? I want someone to play with :C

Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on August 15, 2013, 04:32:03 AM
Hey Ben. Can I start calling you Ben? I like the idea of why Ben is at the forefront, and why the other two names, Robert and Sagan, are on your mind.

Do you have an idea on a time frame to when you would like to tell your family and co-workers? I understand why both are very daunting to tell  , but I am sure it will turn out fine.

I am on Steam too, but I haven't been gaming much lately and don't own many games on there. Do you play DOTA? I want someone to play with :C

Sure you can! I'd like that. Even though I'm not really trying to pass yet, I still love it when I get "mis"gendered, like when my fiancée's niece tried to correct her mother and tell her she must mean "Uncle Steph."

I have a referral for a therapist already, I just need to suck it up and make an appointment. After I start therapy, I think I'll be ready to come out across the board pretty soon. I've already kinda let my mom think it's a possibility, and I present as pretty masculine most of the time, even though it's more of a "butch/stud" thing than a man thing (as far as most people know).

I've tried DOTA and LoL and apparently I am absolutely awful at both, to the point that people accuse me of deliberately handicapping the team. Very angrily. So those are kinda out, but I dabble at least a little in most other types of games.

Quote from: MaybeBen on August 15, 2013, 07:34:48 PM
Sure you can! I'd like that. Even though I'm not really trying to pass yet, I still love it when I get "mis"gendered, like when my fiancée's niece tried to correct her mother and tell her she must mean "Uncle Steph."

I have a referral for a therapist already, I just need to suck it up and make an appointment. After I start therapy, I think I'll be ready to come out across the board pretty soon. I've already kinda let my mom think it's a possibility, and I present as pretty masculine most of the time, even though it's more of a "butch/stud" thing than a man thing (as far as most people know).

I've tried DOTA and LoL and apparently I am absolutely awful at both, to the point that people accuse me of deliberately handicapping the team. Very angrily. So those are kinda out, but I dabble at least a little in most other types of games.

Thankfully your username has Ben in, otherwise I would forget. I am terrible at remember names. xD, that must have had you grinning.

That is definitely understandable. As I said, I bet things will turn out okay.

That is why I don't want to play by myself as I know whoever I play with will be frustrated that I am useless, lol. That is why I want someone I kind of know, someone that can put up with me and help me  .