During my time on this forum, I've noticed that a large portion of mtf's have very negative opinions of men, especially mtf lesbians who often have social lives that consist entirely or almost entirely of women. Perhaps some ftm's feel this way as well? And perhaps they have good reason; there are so many female SO's that come on this site but I've only ever seen one male SO on here. And some of us have no doubt had few good experiences in our lives with the more "testosterone-y" gender.

But that kinda bothers me. There are so many fracking awesome guys out there, I don't like the thought of only socializing with one gender at all. (on an overall basis)

So let us all come together to appreciate the fracking awesome men in our lives! Whether they be our friend, coworker, boss, teacher,
acquaintance, uncle, brother, son, dad (I know mine is!), boyfriend, or husband! Or whatever!

We can also just appreciate how damn good-looking some of them are as well.

I appreciate all genders. But I will say I feel very awkward around straight men, but I think that is because being male myself I feel they are expecting me to be more masculine. Or expect me to act a certain way react a certain way or present myself a certain way?? Idk, but I do know I always ask for female doctors and when I have an interview or such when I find out it's a woman I have a huge relief.

Anyway I guess I'm saying I'm cool with all genders, but inside somewhere I get self concsious in front of straight men.

That being said I love my husband who is actually very straight acting, my girlfriends honestly have told me they'd never would have known he was anything but straight! Lol 

I may give men a bad time, but I have no real problem with them.  In fact there is one man I dearly love.  He is kind, generous, loving to his family.  And best of all he is my son.

Yes, appreciate me!  I deserve to be appreciated!

Lol jk

I don't get why anyone could dislike an entire gender.  That seems odd to me.   Plus, I'm straight so it would be hard for me to hate guys in general,lol.

Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on August 18, 2013, 03:50:15 PM
I may give men a bad time, but I have no real problem with them.  In fact there is one man I dearly love.  He is kind, generous, loving to his family.  And best of all he is my son.

Aww, that was so cute!

Quote from: Malachite on August 18, 2013, 03:55:15 PM
Yes, appreciate me!  I deserve to be appreciated!

Lol jk

Of course we appreciate you. 

Even though I hate using the term I'm a straight girl and I love men. Now I'll admit there are days like today were I get easily annoyed by them. But that's not everyday and I love totally and completely on most days.
I don't think it's ever right to judge a person based on their gender. Honestly I really don't get this kind of behavior. This is just as bad as not liking someone for their race. I started transitioning because I am a woman not because I hate men.
Now do I have to be cautious around men I don't know now but that is just being smart and has nothing to do with who they are. But I think the people that like to put men down have issues they need to deal with themselves instead of channeling their hate towards an entire gender. 

Quote from: Malachite on August 18, 2013, 03:55:15 PM
Yes, appreciate me!  I deserve to be appreciated!

Lol jk

I appreciate you Malachite! 

Just for Malachite.

   I feel so loved.  Thanks ladies.

I'm queer. I admire and appreciate men all day long. 

Well, I used to have mostly male friends as a kid. But when I got to Jr. High, they became real jerks as they started going through puberty, so I had mostly female friends and a few male ones. That trend continued through high school. In uni, I was friends with exclusively women. not entirely by choice, it was that my field is female-dominated. Funnily enough, as I look young again, that vulnerability seems to have come back - that fear that the guys will turn on me and start picking on me again. Like at the bus stop or whatever.

But despite those experiences, I hear a lot of stuff about men that really bothers me. People thinking men don't have feelings, or that men are only after one thing, that all men are aggressive. it just isn't true. I know lots of men who really hate those stereotypes...some play up to them to keep people from mocking them, others try to find their ways to be themselves.

There are men I like and am genuinly very impressed with, then there are also others that I don't particularly care for

I also think that part of it is that after having been forced and forced in the male mold for so long, and not feeling like it's you, then at some point you begin to think it's not just not you, but that it's evil, bad all short. It's easy to go from "it's not for me" to "it's bad". Just like food. It's easy to say it's bad instead of "I don't like it".

That, and there might be resentment against guys who, in the past, made fun of you for not being a "real" guy, or for forcing you to become more like one.

Me, uhm... I feel more understood by women, and I feel like I belong more with them. It's not like I dislike guys... more that until now they've secretly disliked me for not being a real guy, so I didn't really get much of a chance to socialize with them at all. Not to say that I socialize with women much more, since I'm quite alone in every way, but anyway, girls really do tend to have less automatic disdain for "fake" guys.

Even though I did have a period when I thought all about masculinity was evil, because of how much I've always hated everything masculine about me and found it weird in others, I'm getting out of it. I still understand very little if anything about all that is masculine, but I try to understand that I can dislike it without it being a bad thing.

I appreciate me. I also appreciate my son although he's young and learning. He has as strong a will as me which I am really proud of and hope to encourage although it causes problems when we lock horns on something. I am also grateful to one of my friends who has so far been willing to accept me (even the not-so good parts of me) without judging (that I know of) and has so far been very supportive. Another of my friends is... a little odd, but I appreciate him too.

Men can be truly fantastic.  I am always annoyed when radical feminists go all anti-male.  Men are subject to so much pressure in our society...they are constantly objectified sometimes to a greater degree than women...and there's always a societal pressure to make boys and men more masculine.  For a "soft" man to actually live as a sensitive, polite, respectful male takes a lot of courage.  There is so much pressure to maintain a dominant presence, to be "tough" and unfeeling....and anger and happiness are the only acceptable emotions to express.  But even the men who are crude and tough around each other often still maintain an endearing chivalry that I just love.

So many men are great.  Just the other day I saw two different men stop and go to work on a woman's van that broke down at a rest-stop  while she tried to handle her four kids.  And these guys obviously didn't know here and didn't have anything to gain by helping her...and I've seen this sort of thing thousands of times and been on the receiving end of this sort of help so many times.  It's really refreshing.  And to have the door held for me in public by a stranger or have someone help me carry heavy things....I always appreciate that.  I hear feminists complain a lot about these things such as "I don't need a man to open a door for me....I can do it myself...."  but I think that's missing the point.  It's not something they do dutifully but out of respect and kindness...and the only thing they are seeking in return is acceptance and approval from a woman....it's so often overlooked, but a lot of men aren't looking for sex or personal gain, they just want a moment's consideration...to be recognized and shown just a speck of courtesy and a warm smile to brighten their day and boost their confidence.....so much of male bravado is just a cover for basic human insecurity.  The approval of a woman can mean so much....

So many men are vilified by women and never given even a speck of recognition...I constantly see men ignored by women when all they want is a few kind words or a smile.  And it really crushes them so much of the time.  They'll never show it, but it does.

This thread is a wonderful idea.  I would like to thank all the men who have ever held a door for me, or helped me push a car that's out of fuel, or given me and my friend a ride when Iwe're stranded....all the men that helped me and didn't want physical or monetary compensation....they did it solely to be helpful to a woman, and to be recognized for it because it makes them feel good about themselves.

Now, I realize I am making some generalizations, and not all men are like that....but a good deal are.  And I do appreciate men a lot, and it does sadden me when all men are slighted because of the actions of only some

^Very well written Oriah! Definitely describes all the good men in my life 

Quote from: Joules on August 18, 2013, 05:43:32 PM
I think it's a lot like Harlow said above, I've spent so long trying to fit in and belong as a male that I'm just thoroughly sick of anything male any more. 

I hear what you'e saying Joules, but just so others know I'm not sick/hateful of anything male. Just the fact I feel self conscious around straight men. It's not that they do or say anything in particular just on my part, in my head I feel self conscious of my femininity.

I tend to mostly agree with Joules - I too think they suck in most part. Yes, I do believe there are some good men, and men have achieved some great things, but looking back at my workplace I feel they are few and far between.
Yes, they do all those things described by Oriah; I observed them during my 26 years in the Engineering Deparment I used to work for. But these same men talked about women in a most derogatory manner - I used to sit with the men mostly listening, somewhat disgusted, in their demeaning of women - and this included both single and married men.
Unfortunately to try and keep my "male persona" I very rarely countered their views which, in hindsight, I regret terribly. I watched women being verbally abused in the workplace, but again being too shy and did not want to rock the boat. In this regard I still suffer pangs of guilt for letting these men "get away wit it".
To the faces of the women the men appeared fine, but behind their back disgusting.
Others may have had different experiences - but most men in MY view are crude.
I've been on hormones for a year now and have not changed my view.

Quote from: nepla on August 18, 2013, 10:43:46 PM
I tend to mostly agree with Joules - I too think they suck in most part. Yes, I do believe there are some good men, and men have achieved some great things, but looking back at my workplace I feel they are few and far between.
Yes, they do all those things described by Oriah; I observed them during my 26 years in the Engineering Deparment I used to work for. But these same men talked about women in a most derogatory manner - I used to sit with the men mostly listening, somewhat disgusted, in their demeaning of women - and this included both single and married men.
Unfortunately to try and keep my "male persona" I very rarely countered their views which, in hindsight, I regret terribly. I watched women being verbally abused in the workplace, but again being too shy and did not want to rock the boat. In this regard I still suffer pangs of guilt for letting these men "get away wit it".
To the faces of the women the men appeared fine, but behind their back disgusting.
Others may have had different experiences - but most men in MY view are crude.
I've been on hormones for a year now and have not changed my view.

Men talk far different with men than they do women. Most of that talk is just for show to prove to other men how masculine they are. Trust me all that big talk goes away once they are alone with a woman. Did you ever really become close friends with any of these men? Trust me once you've been friends long enough they tell you what they really think and it's not as crude as you think.
Men are just as acceptable to hurt as women in fact men fall in love faster and it takes them longer to get over a failed relationship. I seen women hurt men just as bad as any man has done a woman.
Neither sex is perfect and men and women at their core are far more similar than they like to admit. And if women were in a position of power the world would be no different. I really am dumbfounded by this whole notion of one gender being better than the other based off nothing more than ones on point of view. This world needs men just as much as it needs women the world cannot survive without the other. 

Quote from: nepla on August 18, 2013, 10:43:46 PM
I tend to mostly agree with Joules - I too think they suck in most part. Yes, I do believe there are some good men, and men have achieved some great things, but looking back at my workplace I feel they are few and far between.
Yes, they do all those things described by Oriah; I observed them during my 26 years in the Engineering Deparment I used to work for. But these same men talked about women in a most derogatory manner - I used to sit with the men mostly listening, somewhat disgusted, in their demeaning of women - and this included both single and married men.
Unfortunately to try and keep my "male persona" I very rarely countered their views which, in hindsight, I regret terribly. I watched women being verbally abused in the workplace, but again being too shy and did not want to rock the boat. In this regard I still suffer pangs of guilt for letting these men "get away wit it".
To the faces of the women the men appeared fine, but behind their back disgusting.
Others may have had different experiences - but most men in MY view are crude.
I've been on hormones for a year now and have not changed my view.

While it is true that men can say crude and derogatory things about women behind their backs, a lot of times it's part of the male bravado....there's so much pressure on them to be a man's man when around other males, that many, and I mean quite a few here, end up saying things....lewd and crass things....that they don't mean.  Often times, it's a bonding thing....a peer pressure thing....men who are gentle monogamous lovers will talk to their friends like they are kinky womanizers that like it rough and hard.....and they do it to fit in with other men....to appear more masculine...to be accepted by other males.  Again, it's a cover for insecurity.....

a lot of men will say something like "God I wanna F*** the S*** out of her" to score "man points" when in their mind they're thinking something much more tame, such as...."wow she's beautiful....I'd love to take a girl like her out, if only they'd give me a chance."

I'm not saying it's a positive thing, or something that should be condoned.....but it's something that should be understood....because, trust me, it DOES happen....a lot.

I (or rather, my former male self) used to hate men, for a multitude of reasons.

Sex abuse, emotional abuse, wife/child beatings, lack of spine in far too many of them, selfish, arrogant.

And as hard as I tried to "be" one of them by mimicking their good aspects (strength without hurting, kindness, courage)...they just never accepted "me."

Then one day I saw my sons outgrowing me...they were becoming men, as I never was. How could I hate all men, with my sons being so wonderful? Shortly after that, I started HRT with the avowed purpose of being "mostly" lesbian, but if the right guy came along...

But now, 18 months in, and I'm wondering what the big deal is with me being attracted to women? What I want in a relationship really is either a masculine woman (think "borderline butch lesbian"), or a man.

As I develop, physically and emotionally and in maturity...I understand that most men aren't a$$h0les, they're just men. And I'm cool with that.

Plus, if they have a well-developed upper body....*sigh* 

I have no real disagreement with the core of both Heather's and Oriah's reply.
I also don't prescribe to the notion that one gender is better than the other.
I just could never envisage myself talking about my wife or other women in the way they did and still believe it is crude - but then realistically I guess I was "never a man " anyway, only a pretend (a spy amongst them?).