Posting this in the broadest section I can think of (except perhaps General Discussions), how many of you have had issues with labeling yourself? Although I'm focusing on gender and sexuality here, other situations are still applicable.

Hopefully, this thread will give some folks a place to vent regarding this topic, and perhaps find new ways or ideas to explain what they are without a long train of words.

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Personally - I find broad titles fairly appealing; such things as "Non-binary" leave enough room for others to question and hopefully not assume things (though it's entirely possible I've been considered a backwash social deviant by a few), and enough room for me to fit comfortably. Explaining what I am, though, gets to be annoyingly tedious. As a person who's something of a gender f*, I'd still like to be able to explain myself in accurate terms - saying I'm usually masculine androgynous is one thing, but elaborating to explain that I'm also gender fluid between that, neutrois, third gender, androgynous with no gender dominance, neutrois-androgynous (I swear it makes sense), male, plain masculine, and plain feminine - no, not female; feminine - is a mouthful, and still not very satisfying. I can even think of a few more as I'm rereading it. 

Anyhow, sometimes labels are just a pain in the arse; simply stating "I am what I am" doesn't always cut it, but I look forward to a day that it will.

i don't like any labels at all, really. my daughter can call me mom, but i get annoyed if anyone else assumes i'm her "mother", because the best i can possibly do is being a "parent". i'm not really anything of what people add to that label other than somewhat protective and loving, but most parents are that, not only mothers.

i won't mind being all of my qualities, both the positive and negative ones. but other labels just don't fit, they make people assume someone who's not me.

I use pretty precise labels to save myself from having to explain, even though they're imperfect in lots of ways. I don't really care if I'm using a term that's not quite right, it works well enough so now I can move on. Personally, I've always felt that the periods in my life where I fretted about labels were the times when I was stagnant and not making any progress. Only when I just "picked something already" and moved on did I actually find myself doing things and learning things about myself that would later help me refine the labels at another time, when it mattered. Picking labels is busywork to me, the thick of thin things, in a way. Don't get me wrong, I like having them-- but keyword "having", not "deciding on them" and "wondering if they're wrong". Of course they're wrong. There's no perfect term for any of us, no matter how many pseudo-scientific Greek words you string together.

Quote from: Lo on August 20, 2013, 04:10:53 PM
I use pretty precise labels to save myself from having to explain, even though they're imperfect in lots of ways. I don't really care if I'm using a term that's not quite right, it works well enough so now I can move on. Personally, I've always felt that the periods in my life where I fretted about labels were the times when I was stagnant and not making any progress. Only when I just "picked something already" and moved on did I actually find myself doing things and learning things about myself that would later help me refine the labels at another time, when it mattered. Picking labels is busywork to me, the thick of thin things, in a way. Don't get me wrong, I like having them-- but keyword "having", not "deciding on them" and "wondering if they're wrong". Of course they're wrong. There's no perfect term for any of us, no matter how many pseudo-scientific Greek words you string together.

My feelings exactly, once I got over trying to figure out what kind of trans* I was I was actually able to figure it out instead of trying on a bunch of words trying to find the right fit.

I see the labels as serving the purpose of explaining to others with the least amount of invasive questioning possible. I usually just say trans* or non-binary because they're general enough that I fit in them but not so constricting. I also just like to make up labels not really of the pseudo-scientific Greek variety, but just as made up. My go to is Post-Queer Trans-femme Androgyne mostly because it's a mouthful and doesn't really mean anything, but it's enough words that people are to confused to ask for further information.

Despite the fact that labels have their uses and help convey what one believes or identifies as, I too get annoyed by labels.  People make false assumptions about you because of these labels.  I can never be bothered to take the "group" stance or opinion just for the sake of conformity. I try to be as much as a free thinker as possible and that sometimes gets me in trouble with everyone.  That's why I'm very careful with my labels or I avoid them in general.  Still, I have no problem with my gender label.  That's one I'm quite comfortable with and happy to have. 

Sometimes I think if I myself dont get the differences between genderqueer, genderfluid, third/no-gender and... what else do we have? neutrois and non-binary? oh yeah... then how "common" cis-gender persons are supposed to get any idea about that? Like, there is absolutely no way they are going to understand this (MtF transsexual quite often is a difficult concept for them to grasp, so try to imagine explaining other varieties...).
P.S. And I am probably going to be burned at stake for this as heretic, but I believe that at times people just want to be over-creative and original and just invent more of those new gender labels, because of idle curiousity. We have two main directions - MtF and FtM (ant it CAN and OFTEN DOES GET COMPLICATED even here... ), then androgynous label and if I am not mistaken under ten diff labels for those who think they dont fit (both gender variants), so... time to sort this all out?

The only label I have had any real interest in, is Lesley Roberta.

I am not planning to hassle people about the mrs mam, she her miss daughter, sister, mum deal until I at least have a reason to think I can actually be mistaken for it. I'm not in a hurry to bug people over mis gendering a balding fat old man looking person.

I have no interest in the needs of society. I use transgender by force as it at least explains the jewellery and the purse to the clueless. I don't mind transwoman so much, as it signifies what type of transgender too. But society has no shortage of incorrect assumptions about anything with the prefix trans. I prefer to just not call myself anything at all. I feel happier telling people "I have a purse and I am wearing jewellery because I am a woman". That's if there is any reason to feel a need to talk to them at all.

The day I can actually pass to a person walking past not actually paying me any specific attention to me, is the day I can leave trans anything in my past and stop fretting over it at all.

I am not enjoying being labeled transgender. I don't enjoy labels on a routine basis. The moment you agree to a label, you have only made it easier for anyone that doesn't like the group to find you and make it known they don't like you.

Over the years, I have received grief for being just about anything.
I am not accustomed to seeing anyone say anything nice about any of the labels.

Quote from: Alice In Genderland on August 21, 2013, 02:50:22 AM
My thought is that the first term was created because someone didn't identify with either gender, then as the popularity of the term grows, it becomes more defined and people felt that the term was too specific or too general or was off completely but they still did not fit in with the male or female genders, so another term is defined and so on and so on.  Also some of the terms which are umbrella terms, people aren't comfortable with their roots (genderqueer for example) so choose a different word.  But I've also found that a lot of non-binary people do like to mess with the heads of the binaries especially cisgendered people, so you could be partially right on that note.

Yeah, I understand why nonbinaries get upset with being the "other" or "none of the above" category, because it implies that there is just M, F, and a third gender, and that's just way simplistic. Can't speak for anyone else who does identify with having a gender, but personally, I am literally N/A and that's a mighty concept for people to grasp, even if they "get" that there's something outside of M and F.

And then of course there are the genderf--ks who want to push buttons and make up all kinds of stuff, to which I say, good. Someone has to do it!

I just like "woman".  If anyone already knows my history or can see it, I'll go with trans-woman.

Labels are very strange for me and never seamed to fit well into categories trans related or not.
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talking trans* I identify FTM, however theres the prejugding to the ftm label that all ftm are very masculine and just want to work out and be masuline which im not, some mtf mistakes me for a pre transition mtf.
I guess I in transexual label but transexual have kinda became abit of an bad word in my country + I also feel more nonbinary and some people do not belive you can be both transexual and non binary at the same time so that also troublesome, again theres many nonbinary categories which I dont feel I can relate to so just calling myself nonbinary something something"
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deep down we just human being, I try not thinking too much in the label cause somethimes it more confussing than troublesome, ex I  have a friend he is intersex identify ftm transexual and is a dragking who somethimes do gender->-bleeped-<- shows, lots of mixed label in 1 person but we just go with man or transman.

I try to go with the "if it feels right its right if not its not" princip just to make it simple.
 

i was actually just thinking about labels and 'fitting in' with one's label. I am a man. Generally, to many, this means I am obligated to fix everything, know everything about cars, and watch sports every weekend. Now in a way I fit this...I do work on cars, I pike figuring out how to fix things...but I don't know the first thing about sports. I don't have any interest in hockey, football, basketball, etc. So when i heard a commercial on Pandora while I was working about this 'salon for men', at first I thought it was cool. Then they started describing it. There are TVs everywhere playing  sports channels, magazines about sports, everything sports. I am a man, yet a men's hair salon like that is useless to me. My peprsonal passion is computer hardware, so why aren't there magazines about the latest Asus or HP computer? It really annoyed me. Broaden the stereotype, not all of us love watching men and women throw balls or hit balls with sticks (no offense to anyone who likes sports, I'm just putting it in plain terms).

I feel better now.

I never knew much about cars and had no interest in sports when I was a man.  I did have a strong interest in computers though, and I subscribe to the sort of magazine you mention (PC-Pro - see the website.)  Now I'm supposed to be fanatical about fashion.  I'm prepared to work a bit on that one.

Thank you Mary, I'll definitely check that out. I can't imagine how anyone understands anything when it comes to fashion. I just wear what makes me comfortable. Luckily I have no obligations there lol

I'm old enough that I'm not expected to be fashionable.  So far I'm aiming at "elegant middle aged lady" and I seem to be succeeding.  I feel the next step is "casual but well presented".  I'm working on that one.

Quote from: MaryXYX on August 22, 2013, 07:22:03 AM
I'm old enough that I'm not expected to be fashionable.  So far I'm aiming at "elegant middle aged lady" and I seem to be succeeding.  I feel the next step is "casual but well presented".  I'm working on that one.

you sure look elegant in your profile pic. my grandma used to look like that when dressing up.
the casual clothing might be a little more tricky, finding out what's too much and too little and know not to try those... an entire life (not that long yet, but it's my life nonetheless) learning how to be a woman still hasn't helped me on that. casual for me is male clothing. or a skirt and top that only barely match somehow.

Quote from: TheLance on August 21, 2013, 12:36:53 PM
i was actually just thinking about labels and 'fitting in' with one's label. I am a man. Generally, to many, this means I am obligated to fix everything, know everything about cars, and watch sports every weekend. Now in a way I fit this...I do work on cars, I pike figuring out how to fix things...but I don't know the first thing about sports. I don't have any interest in hockey, football, basketball, etc. So when i heard a commercial on Pandora while I was working about this 'salon for men', at first I thought it was cool. Then they started describing it. There are TVs everywhere playing  sports channels, magazines about sports, everything sports. I am a man, yet a men's hair salon like that is useless to me. My peprsonal passion is computer hardware, so why aren't there magazines about the latest Asus or HP computer? It really annoyed me. Broaden the stereotype, not all of us love watching men and women throw balls or hit balls with sticks (no offense to anyone who likes sports, I'm just putting it in plain terms).

there are lots of different computer magazines if you just look in the right places. i didn't know the right place, so it caught me by surprise when i found the nerd magazines at a store. there are also a variety of nerd clubs for men, at the university i went to there was a japan club, anime club, go club, programming club, and many other clubs that had more male than female members. language is one of those things that they say women are better at, but as soon as you start studying general linguistics rather than a specific language, you'll often find more male than female grammar nerds as well. "intelligent" stuff is also cool for men to be into, so long as you don't get so immersed that you forget about grooming yourself somewhat.

Thank you for the compliment, and I don't mind the "grandma" reference - I am one.  More than 20 grand-kids at the last count.  Unfortunately the last count was when the children were talking to me - they are not now.

So far I don't really do casual, but I am thinking about it.