First of all I would like to introduce myself, my name or at least the name I will hopefully go by is Vanessa. I am 18 years old and I am pretty positive that I am transgender. Ever since I can remember I always thought and felt different than other boys. I am wanting to start my transition but there is one thing stopping me. That is my fear of not ever becoming passible. I am still pretty young turn 19 in a couple months, I am really short for a guy 5'5 and also have small feet for a guy (size 8 woman) so everything is good up until that point. What I hate about my body so much is that I have big wide broad shoulders  That I absolutely hate. I am pretty skinny I heard you lose some muscle mass in the shoulder area but I don't think I have much muscle to begin with so I fear that they will look the same. Honestly that is the only thing stopping me from starting transition, that and the fear of rejection but thats another topic lol. Any advice fellow transwoman? Anything would help tremendously thanks everyone 

Hello,

If you want your name to be Vanessa then go with it if you like it. As far as being transgendered there are many clinics and therapists that can help you confirm how you feel about yourself. Go for it.

As far as body goes, while it has some importance. It's more about how you feel about yourself and present yourself than how you look.

I know lots of cis girls with much bigger arms than mine. As far as rejection goes it's a part of life and it just makes try harder. Think about a job interview. Most of the time your one of thousands of applicants for that one position. If they let you down you try again elsewhere. It's the same thing with fitting in. You try until you get it right or it's good enough to pass.

Don't stress too much in the details. Just look forward to where you want to go.

Jamie

Quote from: Beingmyself12 on August 30, 2013, 11:37:45 PM
Any advice fellow transwoman? Anything would help tremendously thanks everyone 

Yes, one major piece of advice:

Don't stress about whether you will pass.

I know many trans women who will never pass and yet are very happy with their transitions. People treat and see them as the women they are and they never worried about being clocked.

However, broad shoulders are NOT an obstacle to passing. Look around at the 5'5" women you see on the street. Some of them have very wide builds.

I assumed I would never pass. When I first met someone who had no idea I was trans I thought it had to be an anomaly. Now I find I'm rarely clocked.

Good luck, BeingMyself12. I hope your transition will help you as much as mine is helping me.

Hi

If you can, get a referral to see a gender therapist asap from your GP.
This will let you talk to someone about how you feel and your fears as mentioned.
They can direct you from there.

If this goes well, are you wanting to start hormones and anti androgens?
If so the sooner the better. The earlier you start the better the results and the more natural you will look and passing will not be an issue.

Once on hormones then it is just a matter of time for them to kick in and do their magic as you can see from some of the other topics.
Do you need to look at facial hair removal? Laser is good for dark hair and light skin.

Anyway all the best and don't worry. Just be you.

J

I second the gender therapist.

You are young and 5'5". Shoulders are not the issue and muscle will decrease on HRT, if that is in your future.

Welcome to  Susan's Place and good luck.

Hey, Vanessa, dont stress about your shoulders and dont get fixed on one feature of your body as a major of deterrant for your transition. When all things went down for me and I started to look at transition as quite realistic possibility - instead of something which is done by those younger and luckier than me - I was pretty much depressed about everything: my face, my shoulders, my arms etc. It all sorted out eventually and mostly for good. My shoulders are now 17' which is acceptable for a wide shouldered woman – I might loose another inch and then that is pretty much all. But now I dont care anymore – my ex – she had shoulders wider than her hips, btw. Of course, her frame is quite subtle and petite, but I have seen and met attractive women who have large frame and wide shoulders and they dont give a damn about that. Wide shoulders – that is also an extra safety, because a possible assailant will think twice when picking out a victim, because broad shouldered girl can put up more resistance. So, take it easy and start seeing into Your therapy options
Take care and be safe!
Yeah, and another thing Vanessa - good luck in Your journey

I would focus on whether or not you really are TG or whether you are just not a very large guy.

There is nothing wrong with being 'different' considering we all actually ARE different. You need to ask yourself if your difference is because you are not a male in that body.

That is really what you want to make certain of before you start throwing a spanner into the working of your life

As for passing, heck wish I could complain about being small like yourself I think you will do just fine.

Good luck on your quest.

Two things... first, my wife has broader shoulders than I did and nobody ever doubts that she's female. Secondly, it's not just about the width of your shoulders in isolation (and I lost a LOT despite being a weakling with no shoulder muscles to speak of, btw), it's about the ratio of shoulders to hips - every inch HRT adds to your hips will make your shoulders seem at least 2" smaller. Cis women with a "socially desirable" build generally have shoulders about the width of their hips or a little smaller, so looking like that will be sufficient to make anyone assume you were born female, especially at your height.

Thanks to everyone that replied to my message . I am aware that I need to find consoling I am in the process of finding a good place that is low cost since I am not working at the moment and don't wanna come out to my family yet. Thanks for all the comments it really cheered me up. I know that I shouldn't be worrying about a single part of my body I learn to love myself and hopefully begin transition by the beginning of the year. Ill keep you guys updated . If anyone ever wants to chat just message me thanks everyone. Have a great day

WELL hello there

HI I AM ZOEY a professional stalker nice to meet you . No i lie I dont stalk people way to tedious.

Well I send you my offer for a chat anytime you need, well when I am online haha. I am 18, 19 this month so in that reguard I can relate. But meh its only age and your height makes me jealous as I am 5'6 and am a game designer surrounded by guys that are 5'4 >.> makes me feel giant XD. Like my weird intro so far :O I hope not. None the less welcome and pm if you wanna chat about anything really I mean if its quantum mechanics I'm yea gal( >.> omg the giant formulas fml I hate it) all the way to tackling friends and random stuff.

Any who I am Zoey and nice to meet you just dont get me confused with the other 5 million zoeys here