Hi, my name is Alexis. I am 43 years young, live in Ontario Canada. I started transition 4 years ago, after my (unfortunately) first suicide attempt. I just couldn't deal with being a guy anymore. I had tried to force myself to MAN UP by working in steel mills and becoming a welder, and a mechanic . I was married for almost 20 years hoping that would FIX me as it was. But the feelings that my body was so wrong just got worse. So after a 3 month stay in a mental institute I told my wife that i couldn't take it anymore and had to do something about it. Well she left me rather quickly telling me she wasn't a lesbian and couldn't be with a woman. At the same time, she took it upon herself to out me to ever last soul that we knew including family.  I was quickly abandoned by everyone and labeled a freak. My mother told me that she loved me but didn't want me to see her anymore if i continued to be gay?, my sister told me to never come around her or her children again, and my brother blocked me from his phone number and refused to answer his door when i went to see him. One of my closest friends told me that if i ever seen him again he would kill me. Not to mention loosing all our mutual friends.

So came my second suicide attempt.

I had met a woman in the hospital that was transitioning from female to male, and we seemed to hit it off wonderfully. we talked for hours and days. That person is now my fiance. He is wonderful, loving and caring.  The bright side of my life.

I started going full time about a year ago and had many good and bad experiences including getting attacked at a park by two men and a women. Kicking and spitting at me as i ran for my car.  But then there is the other side as well, where people are so nice and respectful to me, hold the door, pull out my chair etc. I have yet to have electrolysis so as the day progresses i start getting the double takes. but i have learned to ignore them.

Anyway a friend at a local trans-support group turned me on to susan's and here i am.  I'm hoping to make a ton of new friends and supporters here.

Hi Alexis!

Welcome to Susans. I'm glad you found us!

Maddy in Saskatchewan

Thanks Maddy glad to be here. I used to live in Saskatoon along time ago. What's it like to be trans there these days?

Thank you for your story and welcome.

I hope you learn quickly that this is a safe and accepting place, where you can let your hair down, and not have to worry about putting up a front. We have all been somewhere like where you are at any moment, so I encourage you to be open here with any struggles that you might be having. It has been my experience that people will usually bend over backwards to help you here.

You are among friends.

Welcome to Susan's

I think you are going to find some similar stories here. We joke around a bit but, someone is always here when you need them.

Hi Alexis,

Sorry that you have had such a bad time, I always think it is so strange that people think we are odd.

I don't feel odd! I feel like a rather fantastic woman! And so are you!

One of the better organised Mods will give links to the rules etc, but they are in the announcement area.

Now relax, you are safe here, you are part of a rather large family.

Hugs

Cindy

Hi Alexis,

Welcome to our little family. Over 7330. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation Rules
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Janet  )O(

A very sunny southern California welcome to you Alexis!  Glad you joined you.

It is sort of amazing how things work out sometimes.   

Hi Alexis, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. You have my absolute assurance you'll meet lots of new friends here! See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn

Thank you to everyone. I feel so welcome. I can't wait to get to know all of you.